When looks are gone its true what do you have if it is what you based your life around :/ and my generation of gay men are quite shallow :/ I am a little too ill admit that :/ but I have seen guys I think are hot with not great bodies which I'm happy my tastes are changing
I don't think this is true, I usually get told by guys that I'm really attractive and that they can't believe someone like me is into someone like them and i's true, I find some average-looking guys to be very sexy and totally dateable!
Is there really an "average look" to guys (or girls) though? Every individual is unique, maybe some people are more unique/distinctive than others, but there's not really like an average look. If you find someone really sexy and attractive, then who is anyone else to tell you "no, that person is just average-looking"? Why are they right and you wrong? De gustibus non est disputandum. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (cliché quota for this post filled! )
Unfortunately that is the truth. We dont live in a fairyland full of rainbows and butterflies. I mean would you date someone who doest care about himself? Of course id date an attractive one. Just bein realistic here
I have the need to comment on the fact that someone who is hot on the outside and ugly on the inside could easily date someone who is ugly on the outside but gorgeous on the inside without large unbalances.
Well yes, because unfortunately, there are beauty standards imposed to all of us by society and we are judged by how we fit those standards so for example, Kevin James would be more average-looking and Brad Pitt more better-looking by those standards.
I find Kevin James super attractive too! But I meant society at large, Brad is considered a sex symbol whereas Kevin isn't. That was my point.
Attractive people are ten a penny*, and honestly like generally attracts like. Ignoring for a moment those who actively make decisions in light of the attractiveness of the person they're around sometimes the reason you see attractive people dating attractive people is because they're surrounded by attractive people. This is often not a decision people actively make, again ignoring certain exceptions to this generality, most people are not actively building their social network based around physical attractiveness alone, it's just something that happens through a combination of gravitational pull and individuals feeling "good enough" to interact with they consider attractive. I've spent a long enough time being a creepy people watcher to note that the majority of people gravitate towards people of a similar level of attraction to their own, unless they're actively seeking someone they perceive to be of greater worth (be that in looks or the resources they have). It is very, very unusual for me to note couples were the levels of attractiveness were not vastly skewed, and where it was there is usually a strong bond over another aspect that makes each individual attractive to another. It is not my belief that attractive people ONLY date attractive people, but that there are more opportunities for attractive** people to date other attractive people than there are for them to date people who consider themselves either unattractive, out of their league, or do not wish to risk rejection so never put themselves out there. People cannot date those who are not willing to risk being rejected. Then I think there are people who have made physical attractiveness the ONLY factor when considering partners, and naturally link everything into whether or not their partner is attractive/they themselves are attractive/the attractiveness of other people and perceived happiness levels. There are a lot of people who do actively chase after the physically attractive (by general standards, not individual ones) and for some people this works out very, very well. For some, it does not. "But I mean like its a terrible cycle. Everyone wants to date someone who is attractive. And the couples where one isn't attractive will just get cheated on because their partner isn't doing anything for them." Well. I would disagree with this; people in relationships with attractive individuals cheat on them. Dissatisfaction in a relationship, or a general inability to control ones sexual urges, or an inability to wait until the old relationship is over before starting a new one, are not problems exclusive to the relationships of individuals who are of differing levels of attraction (again, using general standards not individual ones). *Honestly, they are. Turn a corner, open your eyes, and boom. Attractive people. **While I'm sure there are many opportunities for attractive people to date people who are perhaps considered unattractive, I'd wager that there are various obstacles involved which actually limit these chances far more than perhaps people are aware of.
If you ever watch television shows such as Jeremy Kyle, Steve Wilkos and so on, you will probably notice many attractive women dating remarkably unattractive men.. This is an example that good looking people do not always get into relationships with equally good looking partners.
I pretty much go for the personality. What I mean by that is we have connected either on line or talking on the phone and when we do meet face to face and she isn't what I thought she would look like - I'm ok with that cause I like them anyway and the connection or bond is far more important than looks.
I think that attractive does date attractive. Maybe, for the terms of this argument, "good looking" is a better term. Rather you are attracted to someone or not, you can be honest about them being good looking. I think it's difficult because a lot of people that date are of the same style or "looks" category. This happens with all sexes - my mom and I have talked about how some people look like they could be brother and sister...sometimes people just go after similar looking people.
