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Advice on how I should approach situation

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by iPhone, May 28, 2013.

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  1. iPhone

    iPhone
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    SOOOO I just recently got back into contact with a very old elementary school friend of mine ....I guess you could say he was my first crush/love.. Anyways I randomly called him one day from a friends phone and he got so excited and decided to come see me right away ... He immediately hugged me and asked me so many questions about my life.. I was so happy to see him and it felt like nothing had changed .. Although those feelings were coming back and now that we r both older I think he might be gay ..why ? Well
    We both have never said anything about girls . I know we were really young (9-15) but we spent every day together and were like a couple .
    When we met up he asked me if I was gay .. I said no - cause I was scared. and he was a little embarrassed I think and said how he just used to think that i was . and that people thought he was gay also. He asked if I found anyone too ...
    Anyways he just gives me a really strange vibe and braught up the gay subject about 3 times during his visit which I thought was a bit odd as well as complimenting me..
    Soooo how should I approach this ?? I'm thinking of inviting him out to a party and getting drunk and making a move ?? I just don't have the balls to say it to him sober and am way to scared of being rejected again .
     
    #1 iPhone, May 28, 2013
  2. tryhtwfr

    tryhtwfr
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    Go for it but don't be drunk when you do it! I feel that in a way he's looking to you as a leader, as in if had said you were Gay then maybe he felt compelled into telling you he was Gay too because he felt you would be accepting and he suspected you were as well. I do suggest you do talk about it with him because people change so you never know!
     
    #2 tryhtwfr, May 28, 2013
  3. iPhone

    iPhone
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    Thank u for your advice !!! I think I will invite him out this weekend :slight_smile:
     
    #3 iPhone, May 29, 2013
  4. DelFelidae

    DelFelidae
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    I agree! I don't think getting drunk and making a move is ever a good option. So, I think that just talking is the going to be the better option. You don't know what kind of experiences this guy has had, so, you can't really tell how he'll react. However from the information given he does seem to be influenced by you. Don't make it sound like you're accusing him of being gay though when you talk, you don't want to make him defensive. Which is also a reason not to make a move. Make it more about you coming out than him, just to avoid an accusatory tone, therefore prompting him to come out if he is indeed gay.
     
    #4 DelFelidae, May 30, 2013
  5. iPhone

    iPhone
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    I'm just so nervous about it so I just need some liquid courage :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    I just don't want to get f'd over -.- the last and only person iv ever told went and told everybody my secret .. That was my best friend too ... This time around I just want to be sure he feels the same first but how can I know Forsure ? I guess being open would be great but I'm just not ready and would prefer to be in a relationship first or have someone to help me through it who's going through the same situation ...
    It's just so hard to tell ... I'm thinking of just asking him if he's gay and just causally hint that I am and not anyone knows .. ?im not sure
     
    #5 iPhone, May 31, 2013
  6. Cool Bananas

    Cool Bananas
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    I can understand your fear so the idea to have lots of drinks then telling him isn't really the best way.

    Maybe have a drink to calm the nerves but you don't want to go overboard.

    I would explain to them that they asked you a question just recently and you weren't straight :eusa_liar with the answer. Then go on to explain that you are gay and the reason why you don't say anything is because you are concerned about peoples reactions but also you came out to one person awhile ago and they told a bunch of other people which you were unhappy with.

    They have already given you the opening and have brought up the subject so now its your turn, although then you can ask them why they brought up the subject, do they know someone else is gay.

    Now to get back off my soapbox. :rolle:
     
    #6 Cool Bananas, May 31, 2013
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