Cisgender folks: how "strong" is your gender identity?

I am not the most feminine woman, but being a man had never seriously crossed my mind until I learned about the transgendered community. I am 100% comfortable with being a female.

 

Yeah this is not far off from what I experience. I'd go a bit further and say I'm probably genderqueer. There was a long period of time where the attraction to women that I experienced manifest itself as envy to some extent. Sometimes I still feel that envy, but I'm also attracted to the male body that I have. I feel somewhere in between when it comes to gender identity, but I don't talk about it publicly much. Mostly I identify as cis and bi and leave it at that.

If I woke up female tomorrow, I'd be completely fine with it. At the same time, staying male is also fine.

 

I think I might be genderqueer too, but I'm having a courage problem, and I also don't think I have interrogated myself enough yet to really know. I care a whole lot about trans* people politically, and it feels really insensitive and approprating to just come out as genderqueer without being sure...

OMG, the envy thing. I totally get that...

 

I've thought of this very often recently, and I think I like very much being a male. I like some aspects women have for example when it comes to friends (I think they are much more open with their friends). Obviously this is totally based on what I've seen and suspect, cause I've never been a woman. But if I were to wake up one day as a woman, I think It'd be interesting at first, but I would miss being a male. But as many have pointed out, I think if I had been raised as a girl, I would feel normal, with no urge to be in a male body.

 

Interesting. Adding another perspective, as a transgender male, I don't identify very strongly with male qualities adhering to the binary. I feel rather feminine and mainly gender-neutral in most of my behaviours and interests, devoid of a set, and coherent label or representation.

When I identified as female, I never really gave much thought. I figured I was on the more masculine side of the spectrum, though I did ponder transgender possibilities before I hit puberty and claimed myself as male only to revert due to my family and society. While living as female, I didn't think much of the opposite sex and only recently contemplated it after a friend of mine mentioned that my mannerisms are masculine and I was become much more assimilated into queer culture, hence looking further into trans* people.

I suppose if I had been born male, I doubt I would be very conscious of my hobbies or interests or my mannerisms, less so than I do now for the concept of passing. I've always felt fairly genderqueer in most areas of my life and I wouldn't mind identifying as so, but I do feel more male than I do female and much more comfortable IDing as so.

I enjoy reading Cisgender people's thoughts in regards to gender identity.

 

This. I finally got up the courage to identify as something other than cis here on EC (and even then I feel bad about it). In all other areas of my life I've kept completely quiet.

 

Lemme put it this way, I have male body parts so therefore, I am a man and that's about it. I don't feel anything toward it as I don't get gender.

 

My sex is male and I identify as such gender-wise. I always felt like a guy who happened to like guys. I have a few qualities that would be categorized as feminine, such as the fact that I don't mind shopping for a few hours and like to do Black Friday with my mom and sister. Other than that, I feel very much attached to my male identity.

One thing that I have noticed is that, because of the way I was raised, I always viewed women as "delicate." I was never raised to view women as the lesser sex, but to always help them out physically: open the door, stand when a woman enters the room or shakes your hand, remove your hat when meeting a woman, help them out (even if strangers) to lift or carry something, etc. Now, because we live in a world that has seen the emergence of feminism, I sometimes feel that some women may resent the fact that a man opens the door for them because they feel that everyone should be equal. Nevertheless, I still do it. That is not to say that for a split-second, I will doubt whether I should open a door or offer to help a woman (or disabled person) for fear that they might consider it offensive. I still do it anyways. It's weird, but in a way, I see this as part of my male identity. I just wonder how others feel about this.

 

It's not, and I feel this is what separates me from your typical gay man. Whereas they would describe themselves as 'men who like men', I see myself more of a 'person who likes men and women and everything in between'.

This may or may not be related, but I've always had a certain... aversion towards stereotypical gender expressions and roles. The Hollywood beauty and muscular jock do absolutely nothing for me in terms of physical attraction, and I don't think there's a such thing as a 'real man/woman' or set of traits that would define one.

I've also been toying with the idea of genderqueer and gray-a, so take my ramblings with a grain of salt...

 

Strongish. I have a passion for all things feminine (except for varying gender expressions in my clothing). I understand the ladies better, and I'm attracted to more of the ladies. I would be pissed off if I woke up a boy tomorrow.

 

Pretty much this.

 

I have never considered myself anything other than male haha

 

That is exactly how I feel about it. I don't identify with gender at all, so I just go with what my body parts say.

I don't resent when a man holds a door open for me, because I would do the same for him. I do, however, have a problem when people do it because of your reasoning. I am not so weak that opening a door will snap my arms. Many times, when I have opened doors for guys, they have reached over me to take the door from me and usher me through first, which does piss me off, because they are displaying your viewpoint that women are weak, delicate flowers who might break if they have to lift a finger. *Rant over*

---------- Post added 28th May 2013 at 10:56 AM ----------

I do, but the rest of the world won't listen.

 

Good question. I am a men, I am very neutral when it come to gender identity. I feel I can be both male of female without hesitation, this said I never cross dress except for halloween of course or when I am alone. I would have no issues being a woman, I think deep down I am jealous of woman's clothing, they have more choices and they are allowed to wear fabric that feels good on your skin, woman have this closeness with other female that are not as easy to express between males.

I like to think that if I would be possible to switch sex whenever I feel like it, I would certainly take full advantage of it sexually and socially.

 

It's weird, but I never give much thought to my gender other than as part of the overall package. I like me, so I like being male. I enjoy my dangly bits quite a bit. I don't know how my life would be different had I been born female, but honestly, I can't say as I give it much thought...any more than I give much thought to being born taller or straight or anything else I'm not. This is the hand I was dealt, and I'm totally fine with it.

Are there aspects of my life that are perhaps more effeminate? I guess so. I deal with emotions more than the average guy, I think, and I love shopping at bath shops and getting bath oils and the like. But I never really consider that somehow "effeminate" or "not my gender". I just consider it "me". My mindset has just been "I like this, and I'm going to do this" - whether it's contact sports or buying scented candles.

I freely admit to not "getting" transgender people - specifically not REALLY understanding specifically what it's like to feel I was born as the incorrect gender. But just because I don't "get" it doesn't mean I can't accept it. I'm totally fine with accepting that such people exist, and that everything they go through is very real. Just like straight people might not "get" what it's like to be gay, but that doesn't mean they can't accept me.

Lex

 

Well put it this way, I'd completely freak out if I woke up female. And I imagine if I was born female (wtf?), I wouldn't be happy at all. It depends on whether gender is learnt or is innate, I guess. Given the feeling of many Trans people being born into the wrong body, I'd assume the latter, in which case I've been right into the 'right' body.

Yeah.

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Completely unrelated, but under my post there's a 'trackback' section. It says "Already pinged: http://grand-jury.org/sites/buyvalium/#80761" (I'd advise that site not be clicked). Any tech-y person know what this is or what I've done?

 

If I woke up male tomorrow, I'd be freaked out. But I think I'd get over it, and I certainly wouldn't go to a lot of effort to change back.

On the other hand, I would adamantly refuse to act any more 'male' than I currently do. I'd still pee sitting down, wear the same clothes I'm used to wearing (as long as they fit, of course, otherwise I'd get clothes that fit and look the same) and have long hair that's as soft as I can get it to be. (Is having softer hair a physiological part of being female, or is it just using shampoo and conditioner more? Because I would hate if my hair got any less soft than it currently is. I would go to a lot of effort to get my hair softer if it became more coarse.)

 

I think gender is learned. I learned a lot of maleness, and I'm pretty pissed off by the fact. Also, lucky for you for having total alignment. That's a happy thing.

I can't ping it.

 

I have very little attachment to my gender. I wouldn't mind being male but I would definitely not change it! I don't like gender expectations.

 

Hm, interesting question.

Mentally, I`ve always considered myself female, but with a touch of stereotypical male attributes. I have heard on multiple occasion people comment on "Dude, that`s so male". But at the same time, I do identify as a woman and if my body was switched out and I awoke with male genitalia I would most likely have a small nervous break-down. And then come out as MtF. Because having this body is natural to me, it`s the one I mentally know I should have. So, I guess my gender identity is pretty strong. But it`s a nice thought experiment one can use to put oneself into the shoes and emotions of a transgender male or woman, perhaps. So, I would say that mentally, I can be a bit gender-fluid, in the sense that you could put my mind into a male or female body, and it would stand out as misplaced. My personality/mentality has stereotypical "attributes" from both genders (I don`t like to talk about emotions or weakness with my loved one, I pull back into the cave if I`m upset, that kind of things, I have trouble focusing on more than one thing at the time, lol), I don`t feel like I think like a typical woman, but my gender is still female, because my body is female and that`s the body I want to have and is comfortable with, not the alternative. To clarify what I wrote a bit earlier, I don`t usually stereotype men and women, but unfortunately in my case I just seem to fit so many of them. I`m like a talking and walking mass of stereotypes, lol!

Rambling again. I need to stop putting up EC as soon as I sit down behind the work-bench, get that damned cup of coffee first!