Closeted and Tired of it

My only advice is to just do it. Tell your sister. You need at least one person that knows.

This should be my title too but I'm out almost everywhere except work and professional events. But given the fact that I work with many homophobic colleagues, I'm not prepared to suffer the consequences of being out. Maybe I never will be but I'm so glad that I have all of the people that matter in my corner supporting me for who I am.

 

Open the closet door and get out.

 

Test the waters first to see what they think of homosexuality (and bisexuality) if you're worried (especially if they are religious).

 

That's a bummer. Best to wait after you've moved out in that case if you decide to come out to your parents. As for your friends, test the water. It's the safe way to know.

 

DO IT! Coming out is a Rite of Passage for LGBT people and should be celebrated!

You are not alone here trust me. Many of us went through the same thing. I'm a little confused though because I thought I read your profile and it states that you are Bisexual. So I don't see why you would be offended by any of those remarks or comments. Rite now is the time to really start asking yourself who you truly are and what you want out of life. I don't let a label define who you are as a person, rather, you should define yourself by your successes, accomplishments, what you do for others, etc.

Nobody likes being fake and/or having lied to someone. You don't "have to" do any of those things. You choose to do them. Life is about making choices/decisions and accepting the reward for doing/making those decisions. My advice is that you take more control over your life instead of letting life take control over you.

More on Coming Out:
Coming out to your family and friends is a challenging process and affects everyone in your family. As you think more and more about coming out to them. You should know that people fear what they don't understand. So don't be discouraged if everyone doesn't appear to accept or understand you right away. It takes time for everyone involved. You are an important part of your families growth. Be an active player in that process and always remember to be positive and recognize the many opportunities to personal growth as you continue on your Journey through life.


Good Luck and Stay Positive.

-Alex

---------- Post added 23rd May 2013 at 02:25 AM ----------

I make fun of all types of people all the time. Humans do stupid shit sometimes and you gotta laugh about it! I think you are being to harsh about the matter. Your Mom and Dad would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Right now I wouldn't say they are anti-gay just yet. Not everything gay people do is perfect and wonderful in the eyes of other people and not everything non-gay people do is perfect and wonderful either. And that is fucking hilarious.

Right now it seems difficult to laugh at things because you are experiencing a process that many of us have already gone through. Your Mom and Dad Love You, Hell I LOVE YOU and I DON'T KNOW YOU!

There are lots of ways to drop hints about yourself. But I don't know if you are ready for that or not so if you are interested make it known to me and I will share them with you.

-Alex

 

do it asap! it can be scary but you'll be a lot happier. plus if these friends are real friends it won't matter. take it from someone who waited **way** to long. I really wish I'd come out when I was your age, even though back then it was a lot harder. I almost did come out at 22 or 23 but unfortunately decided not to out of fear. So bottom line, go for it!

 

I think telling at least one person in real life will ease things considerably, so go and tell your sister or a friend. Getting the words out of your mouth will be a struggle at first, but from then on, things should be a downward climb as you will simply be repeating something you've already said. I have only just come out at the age of 24, and it has indeed been so liberating. I've only been out in real life just over a month, but part of me wishes I'd done it even sooner. In the space of around five or six weeks, I have come out to all my immediate family and to some of my friends (some of them I haven't told yet simply because I've not had a chance to speak to them). I've gone on a gay date, and I've been in a gay club, where I actually kissed a guy. I can now easily say the words "I'm gay" as opposed to side-stepping it with things like "I kinda like boys" or "I'm a 4 on the Kinsey scale". In short: it may seem hard, but realise that coming out should do more good than bad, especially when you're in your early 20s and your whole life is ahead of you waiting to be lived.

 

We're about the same age, and I know exactly what you are going through. The only difference with me is that I kind of expect everyone to be ok with it, and the people I've told so far have been!
Towards the end I felt like I couldn't be around my best friends anymore without getting so aggitated, and that was because of this secret. I was pushing them away, and left earlier than I would have in the past when we got together.
Now I've told 11 people, and each time it feels like a bit of anxiety is chipped away. Trust me, you'll be really nervous beforehand, but if your friends are any good they will accept you for who you are.

Good luck!

 

Hey Mrcake, how did your family and friends react to marriage equality passing in MN last week? Did anyone mention it and if so were they for or against it? That could be a conversation starter with friends maybe. I'll tell you that I really wish I had the chance to meet guys and have some kind of experience when I was in college. Do it while you're young if possible. Take care

 

I think joining a LGBT club at your university will open a world of opportunity and happiness for you. I wish I would have done this myself rather than kicking myself for years. Having others around you in a safe environment is a beautiful thing. Attending your first meeting/function may be tough but also a great way to begin your journey and find support before you venture into unknown territory.

 

I've started by making new friends and telling them I'm gay up front, and that I'm still not completely out, and they seem fine with it. It has been building my confidence pretty well having people I can talk to. I guess the hard part is telling pre-established friends.