Told Mom - Kaboom!

Having a virtual drink with all of you right now....mnguy, runnerrunner, biAnnika, gaysibling, biotech49, neon man, skiff, nydtc, rose27, arturoenrico and Hefiel...this round is on me! Thank you all for being so supportive and honest!
johnchrys you're included but your age doesn't allow me to buy you a drink so here's a coke!

You all bless and encourage me....runnerrunner; thanks for starting this conversation!

CHEERS!!!

 

that sounds very similar to something my brother said to me recently. I won't go into detail because it is not my story to tell, but just when he thought things couldn't get worse.... they did. He was torn between laughing and crying because he has a great sense of the ridiculous and at the moment his life sounds like a very bad soap, but behind the joking he feels increasingly painted into a corner. I don't want to make this about me, because it's not, but it is very difficult and painful to see someone you love struggling so hard, and the fact that in comparison I had a relatively easy journey just makes it worse in some ways.

I wish you luck on the bumpy road and look forward to hearing more about your progress.

virtual hugs and a virtual drink - cheers .

---------- Post added 23rd May 2013 at 09:17 PM ----------

It's now 8:15 pm on Thursday evening here, so I feel that it's not too early for me to join in a virtual drink. cheers to you all, and to pnattmbtc thanks for the drink, my round next time. :icon_wink

 

I agree w BiAnnika in that most people are never honest with themselves much less their judgmental families and I think the bravest thing you can do is to do the right thing for yourself. I *think* I was married to a gay man and I divorced him so that we could both be free. I got a lot of judgment for it, too. (I didn't tell people he was gay bc he says he's not). My point is that it was hard to make such a stand for myself but I knew it was the honest thing and that in the long run I'd be happier. That "long run" took about 2-3 years but it came around. My other point is that I had to be the one to leave, and while I don't blame my ex-husband bc he is an amazing father and was otherwise an amazing partner, he's not doing me any favors by staying in the closet. Or maybe he's not in the closet? See what I mean?

Congratulations! I'm sorry it's so hard right now. I promise you that if my son or daughter ever comes out to me I will hug them and we'll celebrate! I suppose if my ex does then ill do the same thing. I just watched "For the Bible tells me so" and it may be another good show for your mom. It's a documentary and shows several very "Christian" families tell their stories in which a child comes out to fundamentalist parents. Some are more accepting of others and tragically one mother tells the story of how her daughter killed herself after harsh words from the mother. Now the mother has "converted" but her beautiful daughter is dead.

Next time you're feeling bad about yourself try directing those feelings at the culture we're in. Nothing's wrong with you at all. On behalf of confused wives everywhere I want to thank you for coming out.

 

Hey Runnerrunner, I can't tell by your post if I said something wrong about your family and/or mom. I didn't mean to and I sincerely apologize if I did. I don't know what to say other than I hope you're ok, that you'll get through this and to keep talking here if it's of any help.(*hug*)

 

I don't know if any of you have watched a documentary that was on public tv last year, called Anyone and Everyone. It is geared to the families of teens who have come out and the struggles the families have in accepting their kids. Nevertheless, it is an inspiring film. Many of the families are religious and some of the parents who stood by their kids and started questioning the tenets of their faith, were really awesome. It was a very moving film. Watch it if you can.

 

Oh good I'm glad. I was afraid I'd said somthing stupid which I do sometimes compeletly oblivious to it. Haha, I'll take Magnum :icon_wink Yes, I too worry about the opinion of others too much. Hopefully we'll both get over that someday. Living alone isn't so bad although it's easier for me to say since I've done it for a long time now so I'm used to it. I could see living with the right guy someday, but otherwise I like having my own space most of the time. Yea it can be lonely for me, but you have kids who will visit so that's cool. Hang in there and take care.

 

You have things to be happy about. The numbness is going to fade quickly. The kids are always going to be there.

I also live alone and enjoy it, much better than being around idiots.

But the one thing is I would not even bother trying to enlighten anyone who uses the bible to spew hate at gays. It is not worth the trouble and these people will often not change. I did not tell my mother I was gay before she died even knowing she would likely get over it, or that she already knew. She had spat out too many hateful comments toward gays in general for me to share that with her. Since we were in different cities anyway, and saw each other not all that much, I just did not bother.

What is most important is who you know you are, and that is where it starts. Then to share with those who will support you. And it appears you have come along way there. The wife and kids must be the hardest part. Time to get on with life, and find new happiness and friendships where ever they can be found, and forget about the hatred and petty closed mindedness.