I live in Stockholm, an reasonably large city with a few places for gay people to hang out. But one by one they are closing down every single place for gay women. There was this café and shop Hallongrottan (Raspberry cave), witch allways had info on upcoming events who served free coffee and cookies, and sold gay themed-books and everything else that is gay/trans/lesbian/feminist-related. I spent a lot of time there. One day, someone broke in and stole all their savings (it was not a big shop so they didn't empty the checkout that often). They went broke and had to close up. There was only one other place whitch was friendly towars homosexual females and not just males and that was a nightclub called Club KG. It wasn't the most fun place but at least it was ok to be gay there. They announced that this saturday (yesterday) would be their last time. I think they couldn't afford keeping it. Now there is nowhere to go... I bet many of you who are in the same position but I just want to complain that there are sooo many more bars for gay guys and none for us girls! Can the patriarchy stop existing in every corner in every community??? :starwars: Let me know about your town!! Is it the same?
I live in a small town that has no LGBT communities at all, I think there are a few in the capital city but there aren't any lesbian bars/clubs in the country. Maybe there are but according to the internet, there aren't. I probably wouldn't go to bars anyway but I would like to meet other gay people and it's very difficult.:icon_sad: All I can do is make guesses based on people's appearance and body language which is probably not very accurate.
We have no lesbian bars here in Liverpool (that I know of), but I don't mind too much. The café you mention seemed great, though. What a shame
I don't think there are many places to meet other lesbians in my area, I wish I could go somewhere where I would actually know someone is a lesbian and not have to guess.
I know how you feel. There are gay bars here, but nothing I'd be interested in. Any kind of LGBT place is mostly tied to colleges & mental health facilities that don't relate to my life. Although, if there were gay-friendly places HERE, it would seem very segregational -- like you homos stick to your places & stay out of our straight places. I really think that is what it would turn into. I understand the feeling, though, of wanting a place that knows you are gay, accepts & welcomes you as a gay person, AND has entertainment that is at least LGBT inclusive. I don't have a lot of social practice because I just don't fit in with straight people. I'm not 'outcasted' -- more like I've become disinterested & back-away. Due to the lack of social opportunities that I'd like, I've become socially awkward -- use it or lose it. I've lost that ability to go with the flow because I avoid the flow. The direction it's headed isn't to my liking, so I hike perpendicular to those shallow creeks everyone else is wading in. I'm usually fine on my own, but sometimes it would be nice to have company -- even if it was only to discuss a few questions running through my mind (& not be belittled for asking or wondering about something LGBT related out loud).
I have really no idea why it is so, I actually thought of Stockholm as an really open minded city with room for everyone. The only reason I come to think of is that the gay community is more "seen" than the lesbian community. I hope that one day we'll be one big community )
I'm not sure why two separate types of bars or clubs *must* exist for gay men and lesbians, because hands down, a better solution would be to have everyone get along and be able to coexist in the same establishment. Idealistic ranting aside, we could make the argument that gay men are far more likely than lesbians to engage in no strings sex with strangers, and gay bars have long served as spaces for these types of (essential?) male interactions. Yes, many places cater to other groups, and not everyone is there with one thing on their mind, but hands down, a good number are still looking for sex, much like at straight bars and clubs. That said, I don't oppose lesbian spaces or pointing out their lack of visibility in the LGBT community.
Here in my town there isn't any specified places for us to hang out really at all but near by in Portland I have herd about a few places but i haven't had a chance to check it out just yet. I agree with you though, there are tons of gay bars (in Portland) but there is seemingly nothing for lesbians around that are still going on or open. Due to this fact I just hang around wherever; if people don't like that I'm holding hands with a girl then oh well, they can move to a different place
I absolutely agree. It would be great if we could mix it up more. But I do like the idea of gay bars (for both women and men or separate) in general. Because it offers us a place where we can meet, flirt and dance without being judged or even physically hurt. I would love for the gay community to converge more with the lesbian community and then also with the straight community, but firstly I would love to have just one place where I can meet other gay women )
Sometimes you have to leave your town to find others. I thought Sweden was fairly liberal; they have gay marriage I think, and that a city the size of Stockholm would have something, so maybe you haven't searched enough. I come from a small town so I know what it's like to not have a palce to go where there are people similar to you, but why not trying to just be a part of your community regardless of sexuality, I am sure you can still meet friends...etc in your city and can feel a part of the city without having to go to a lesbian bar.
