LGBT News Bridal shop refuses to let transgender customer try out dress

That's a bit ridiculous considering it was in Canada? Right?

 

I don't know, I'm just kind of leery of some of these situations. I mean, this person wasn't called "a freaky tranny who should go to hell," right?

It's important that we respect people. I feel bad for this situation but I'm kind of tired of the big deals being made out of relatively small situations.

 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? :eusa_eh:

How is this not a big deal? This poor woman just had her gender identity insulted and then refused service at a store. Would it somehow have become a big deal had she been called a "fucking tranny freak"?

Let's say you go to buy a suit with your boyfriend. The store manager comes out and tells you, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave. We don't serve gay people here." Are you saying that's not a big deal? Does it become a big deal if he comes out shouting, "Hey faggots get the fuck out of my store!"?

I'm unsure of what exactly you're saying. Is something only a big deal if offensive language is used in addition to the discrimination faced? Is discrimination in and of itself not a big enough deal?

 

I have to strongly disagree. The owner is not legally allowed under Canadian law to turn away someone due to the comfort level of others. It does not matter the level of discrimination or how anyone personally feels about it. Small injustices need to be dealt with so that people will learn that no form of intolerance will be accepted. You do not have to understand or even like the rules; but you still have to legally follow it. Legally she had every right to be in that shop without being insulted and having the dress ripped out of her hand.

 

I do agree that we have to deal with all situations, I just worry about desensitization, which is what I was getting at with my first post, even though that has now been torn a apart.

So excuse me for having an opinion. I know it's not accepted, I just want to be honest on here.

 

I agree with Aldrick... discrimination is discrimination, regardless of its means.

Funny thing is, a good amount of the discrimination reported in the news in the U.S. regarding services has been motivated by religious beliefs, such as the florist incident in Washington and the wedding cake incident in Oregon. I wonder if this bridal shop owner was motivated by that, just out of pure ignorance, or both. Nevertheless, it's obviously wrong to do this.

It's good to see that Rohit had supporters rallying in front of the store and that she found another place to purchase a bridal dress. That gives me some hope for humanity

 

Arseholes.

 

That's ok. I'm not mad you had your own opinion. Many of the issues we face is that people do not see what the big deal is. If it does not apply to someone else then they typically have a "why should it affect me?" attitude. What we need to do is educate and show people how someone being treated differently is wrong. What happened here would be the equivalent of a baker shop throwing out a gay couple because they wanted to put 2 grooms on top of the cake. To a straight person something that small might not be a big deal; but to the gay community that would be seen as an insult.

With topics like this they are usually emotionally fueled. We are turned away constantly from many aspects of life that cisgendered people enjoy. So whenever a topic comes up like this we become upset, as it is yet another instance where we are treated less human than a cisgendered person.

 

You want my opinion?
Vile. That is the only word that comes to mind.

 

I wasn't attacking your opinion. I wasn't sure what your opinion was, exactly, which is why my response to it had so many sentences ending in question marks.

You didn't mention anything about concerns over desensitization in your post. (I disagree with that, by the way, but it's a side matter.) Your post came off sounding like this: "Why is everyone getting bent out of shape over this? I mean, it's not like he called her a tranny freak or anything, right?"

I wasn't sure what you were trying to say - did you not understand the story? Were you attempting to make a sarcastic remark, and I just wasn't getting it? Did you realize what you wrote was offensive?

That's why pretty much every sentence in my response ends in a question mark.

And for the record, I believe that discrimination, no matter how small, needs to be called out. This is how you create social stigma against such behavior.

 

I'm glad we can talk about this, because it's important.

As I've tried to say before, I don't always say the right thing the right way.

What I was trying to get at was that in the grand scheme of life, where does this land?

What happened was sad. It's sad that people just can't get along and can't let things happen. I do not, at all, want this to become a "well, they aren't as important as someone who is cisgendered." That's not what I wanted to say, and I am sorry if that's what happened here. I'd say this for anyone. I've been thinking a lot about it lately and I chose the wrong thread.

So, I was basically thinking "this is sad......but I worry that it will either make people desensitized or that it will just become too much."

 

That ok. (*hug*) We don't wish to scare you away from every Trans* related thread. The sad reality is we have to fight even the littlest of battles to be seen as equals. Many people felt the same way as you do during the African American Civil Rights movement. It does become tiring to hear about the constant struggles that a group has to go through. Sometimes even I begin to question if every struggle has a point. But then I put myself into that poor girls shoes. I've felt the same way when I was rejected from eating at Village Inn for being Trans*. After I was told to leave I sat outside and cried, questioning If I should even bother going through yet another battle to be treated as an equal. Whenever my fortitude starts to waver though I look back to the past civil right fights for answers.

"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"You can't legislate good will - that comes through education." - Malcolm X

"Treat all men alike. Give them the same law. Give them an even chance to live and grow." - Chief Joseph

I personally feel that it doesn't matter what others think. What matters is that at the end of the day she has the right to walk into any bridal shop she wants without fear of being treated sub-human. While I feel that it is best to educate through a gentle hand, sometimes a forceful one is needed to get the lesson across. In your case only a gentle hand should be used. In this shop owners case she needs a forceful one. And that hand happens to be the law which she so openly broke.

 

That's just ridiculous. She's an idiot.

Even if somebody makes you uncomfortable, you don't deny them service and treat them like trash. That's human decency.

And if somebody is a paying customer, you don't tell them that they aren't allowed to give you money. That's good business sense.

She's painfully stupid all around.

 

explain how night clubs stay in business? they reject so many people for trivial things, i know ones that ban certain types of foot ware. it is truly disheartening have these types of things happen, in this modern age, where we are advanced technologically, but still so socially stunted. i don't agree with the reason for the denial of service, but it still respect her right not to sell you anything. denying people for this reason, will only hinder her business, as a lot of people that will now boycott her for it.

so basically what i am saying is, i disagree with the reason not the action. if i owned a shop i would deny service to bigots just because i could is that wrong of me

 

It's bad business sense.

The only time denial of service isn't a hindrance is if serving those customers would hurt your business's image. Hence why night clubs have dress codes--it creates an atmosphere of exclusivity that keeps paying customers paying.

If you own a shop in a backwater town in the deep south that is just teeming with bigots, denying them service will hurt your business. On the other hand, if you own a shop in, say, San Francisco, denying them service will help your business.

I think it's her right to deny service. I just don't think it's in her best interest.

 

apparently i have to type something to post not just a quote

 

I don't know if you think I didn't notice that you said that, or if you're commenting on something else. But I saw it. You said to explain how nightclubs stay in business, and you asked if you were wrong for wanting to deny service to bigots. I answered and clarified my position. :icon_bigg

We're largely of the same opinion. But I didn't ignore that part of your post, if that's what you thought.

 

sorry i miss interpreted your post, my point wasn't really about the mechanics of running a night club(i really should have elaborated i meant them to be rhetorical), my point is this really that people get denied service all the time, for reasons even more pathetic than in this instance. it stated later she found another shop and staff were happy to oblige her so to me its not that big of a deal, the only merit the news item has is it warn locals of that area.

 

I know of a lot of small business owners in small town America that I live in that would welcome business and would try their best to meet the needs of their customers. I see it as a sale, a sale means income. No sale, no income.