Hello there, so as the title says, I just lost my virginity last night.. to someone I met on the internet for like only 30 minutes. So that was just a plain hookup. He was a total stranger, and I wasn't sure what to do exactly since it was my first time. But since I had watched A LOT of gay porn, somehow I had the idea. I just gave him a blow job since all he wanted was a quickie. And according to him, it didn't show that it was my first time. I have a friend who had lost his virginity way way back, and according to him, the first time he did it felt awful. But according to what I had last night, it was actually not that bad after all. We enjoyed it. The thought of it never left my mind up to now. I understand that I would never forget it that easily because it was my first time. My question is that am I too gross to hookup with a total stranger? I was reluctant to tell it to my anyone because I really fear judgment. I never felt bad about it, or felt guilty since we both wanted it. And for me, it was the right time for me to explore. Hello, I'm freakin' NINETEEN. I felt more like this: :eusa_danc than like this: Is it weird for me to feel this way? :help: Is losing virginity for gays like me always like this? As much as possible, I wanted a special first time sex with someone whom I really love and who loves me back. However, it happened, I felt good about it, and it was surely unforgettable. (*hug*)
Im not your moral compass but I do feel sorry that you lost such an important part of yourself to a total stranger. Im 18 and a virgin, and as much as I want to lose it, I am holding out for someone special to share it with. I hope your next time is with someone you love and care about It will make it all that more special
I came really close to losing it to a girlfriend (now ex) a few months ago. In my view, waiting was the best choice- because 2 weeks after that almost happened, I found out she is moving to another state and neither of us want long distance. I feel like it would have been so hurtful if she had taken my virginity and then ran... I agree with BoiGeorge when she says that next time you should wait til you are with somebody you love and care about.
I think the answers to your three actual questions are all NO. The event of losing my virginity and the first time making love were entirely different and with different people. Both memories are very special to me and the first didn't diminish the second. There can be many different "first times" that are special with a particular partner.
It's different for every person. Personally, I recommend against losing virginity just for the purpose of doing so, in a hookup, because I feel like it can be something really meaningful and memorable. But other people, who aren't so sentimental, don't see the value in that. I don't think either position is right or wrong. It sounds like you're feeling good about it, and if you're happy, that's what really matters here. And of course, you always have the option of making your next experience one that's meaningful and emotional if that's something that appeals to you
I'll echo Chip. Some people think virginity is special. Personally, I think it's overrated. If you feel good about what you did, then feel good. Don't wait for strangers on this website to validate your actions. Take care of yourself, though. Nobody out there cares about you like you do. Somebody looking for a quickie is isn't looking out form your well-being.
I disagree with this as well, there's a lot of pressure on us to have a memorable and/or romantic first time when the reality is most likely it'll be awkward and weird and uncomfortable but hopefully fun as well. Its a strange thing in my opinion to hold the first time you have sex in such high regard. If you had fun and kept yourself protected what's the problem?
As the others have said, it's different for different people. Some people approach a swimming pool by going to the diving board and just jumping in. Some people approach the pool by going in at the shallow end and swimming around before heading to the deep end. And what you're saying today about the experience may change. You may go through the rest of your life thinking, "It was fun and I have no regrets". Or you may find that one day you meet someone and wish, "I wish I would have waited so that he could have been my first". And as others have said, what's important is that you feel okay about it today and that you practiced safer sex during this (and all your future) experiences.
How is virginity an important part of yourself? That makes no sense to me. It's like claiming I lost a part of myself the first time I got a pet rat, or left my home province, or something like that. It's one experience. Why does it matter so much to people? Why do people define themselves by whether or not they've had it?
I bet you could write entire books on the topic of virginity.... Sometimes, I think part of this is a leftover from the days when women were expected to be pure and deflowered on the wedding night. And, of course, men often define being a real man by whether they've had sex or not. ---------- Post added 29th Apr 2013 at 02:08 PM ---------- I also think it can vary based on where one is at in life. To steal, er, borrow KaraBulut's pool example, and extend it: a small kid might get in the pool by jumping in feet first in the shallow end, as a teenager jump off the diving board, and when an old fossil like me might use the ladder. Obviously, one can only lose virginity once, but the way one might lose it varies through life. As a teenager, I might have been willing for a quick, casual fling with a friend. Now, I'm more inclined to wait for a serious relationship. And if I'm still a virgin when I move into the nursing home--which seems quite likely some days--I might be willing to have a fling with a guy I'd never met before, just to have the experience.
