I'm 22 and a lesbian, I'm out to most people but the one person I can't tell is my nana, she's homophobic and hates lesbian and gays, she thinks they are disgusting, I love my nana but telling her isn't a possibility
I get ya. I don't want my grandmother to ever know either, even if she lives for another 20 years I think I would try to find some way to keep it from her. We're really close, and even though she's never said anything about gay people, she's very Catholic and I think she would definitely be devastated.
My parents were awesome when I came out to them, but I was made to promise I would never tell my grandparents. Which makes it HARD at family functions when the topic of me having kids and getting married "to a nice boy..." comes up...awkward!!! Lol
I'm terribly sorry I've been lucky to not have anyone I'm really close to (though arguably few in numbers) be homophobic. Do you think that maybe she just doesn't understand homosexuality? Maybe you would be the person that changes her views?
My grandparents are like that too. I don't think they'd hate me though if I told them I liked women instead of men but they would tell me in a disapproving voice that I'm just confused and would fall in love with 'the right' man eventually.. Or I don't really know them at all and they would end up hating me. I'm not sure which possible outcome would be the worst one.
If she has never said anything about gay people, then how do you know that she would be devastated? I've found that many people I expected to be against it on religious grounds, were actually quite tolerant when I came out. I don't think my parents will take the news well, though. I come from a very religious family, and my parents are definitely homophobic.
I don't know, it's just a kind of feeling I have. It's no secret in my family that I'm the favourite of quite a large number of grandchildren and I think she would be extremely disappointed.
It is important to remember that desecration is the better part of valor. Sometimes it is just best to not tell people, or you just don't want to. That is ok. You can still love your Nana, and live a happy life open life without telling her. She may find out eventually, and if she does just cross that bridge when you get there.
Sadly, it's certainly easier to hide your sexuality from your grandparents, since you'll just need to wait until you turn a twenty something and they will probably die... Still, I've told one of my grandmothers at the end of 2011. Her reply was very unexpected: "are you sure?" She told me she wasn't ready to hear that, but that she knew some gays when she was young and that she thought they were very good people. Still, she told me I should be 100% certain before telling my family, because I would suffer a lot for it, and my parents would as well. In other words, she wanted to protect me. From that day on, I loved my grandmother even more.