So sick of heterosexuals

'hate' [taken here to mean distrust or w/e in yr own self-interest] of cishets is definitely justified for queer people, just as a similar 'hate' of men/whites is justified for women/POC. it's totally fair for the oppressed to hate their oppressors

 

oh my god did you just compare queer people venting about oppression to the nazis go think about what you've done

 

I can definitely relate to that somewhat. It will get better though once you get a way and move out. If I were you I would save up as much as I can, get a job, then move out and your free!!! Don't get to down on yourself .

 

There are different challenges being straight. Society enforces restrictive attitudes and behaviors on the way heterosexuals should pursue relationships and fit into gender roles in those relationships. I think whether it's easier or harder to be straight depends on who you are, the kind of family you grow up in, and where you live.

For instance, most of the straight guys I know are very nerdy and introverted, and have an exceedingly difficult time picking up women. Some of them are still virgins and they're well into their mid to late twenties. Their families are all progressive and open-minded and if they'd been gay, they might have actually been less lonely and had objectively better lives during this time.

Communication between the opposite sexes is something society makes very difficult. We enforce single-sex social groups and single-sex environments in school and then these people grow up with different interests and attitudes. Imagine being dependent upon someone you had nothing in common with for human compansionship, physical intimacy. There are some benefits that gays can reap.

I'm not trying to diminish your issues with your family. I'm terribly sorry about that. It's true that many kids are bullied and discriminated against for their sexuality. Some are disowned. Some commit suicide. It's cruel that that happens, and the people that do this deserve no sympathy. But just like when a dog bits your hand, you shouldn't kill every dog, there are many great straight people out there who have fought for your rights and have put themselves in harm's way throughout history to help the oppressed. Most of them, I think you'll find, are quite decent people.

 

Only the minority of heterosexuals are true bigots. And as for your parents, in truth you have no idea how they will react if you came out. They may make gay jokes or speak against homosexuality, but it could be that they are saying these things because they feel pressured to conform. Or maybe they fear that you are gay and this is their way of coping or maybe even hoping that you aren't. You think you know how people will react in a certain situation, but they may surprise you. Give it time, cool down and stop taking their comments as direct attacks. Ignore it. It isn't always easy and sometimes you have to stand up against it, but it is no use complaining about how unfair life for a lgbt person is.

 

I find most heterosexuals to be so bland. So bland and unintriguing. Cishets, anyway. I don't hate them but I dislike when they try to justify their phobias against the queer and LGBT community. Actually, I think that's the only amusing thing about them. Some cishets are okay though, the ones who bother to acknowledge their privilege and support us without starting any feuds or adding fuel to the fire (ie the Fagbug and rainbow painted house across from Westboro Baptist Church - that I find completely intrusive and doesn't help our case at all. Plus the house is owned by a cishet guy, of course.)

Not all heterosexuals are the same though, like gay or trans people. So it's unjustifiable in ways to conclude that all hets are terrible. But they definitely lack a perspective in which they'll never know. A perspective of hatred and oppression created by their own. Though I can't comprehend parents who would hate and disown their own child if they were gay, bi, trans, ect. That part of it makes me enrage. It lacks so much logicality. It's depressing to think about it.

 

yeah i'm p saddened by some of the responses you got.
this thread has essentially confirmed to me that the queer liberation movement is dead tbh

 

It isn't dead. I just don't think queer liberation should be about hating heterosexuals.

Alexander, for what its worth, I know how you feel about your family. Mine is pretty bad too I wish there was more acceptance in the world.

 

First I wanna say I think a lot of the repliers were a little harsh with you. I bet a lot of them have felt a little bit like you were/are at some point in their life too.

That said, I think you could've worded you're frustration in a way that didn't insult 90% of the world's population. I mean, most of the people folks on this site love and care about (friends, family, etc.) - including the ones accepting of their sexuality or identity - are probably straight. Obviously as a gay man you're in the "oppressed" group and they're in the "privileged" group, but that doesn't make it right. If a black man made a thread titled "So sick of white people" you'd probably think he was generalizing a tad unfairly.

I can see why you'd be frustrated and want to vent and I'm sorry you felt attacked afterwards. Where I live, most of them are good, tolerant people, but some of them say ignorant things sometimes just because they don't know better. In some ways it can be easier when you're out because some people actually wake up and pay attention to the things they're saying and how they might be hurtful or offensive.

 

To Hexagon and Alexander I get the feeling believe me. Chin up guys.(*hug*)
When you see the real face of your parents, when you really see the amount of hypocrisy they contain in their minds and hearts.
It feels like an alternate reality, one day I woke up being disgusting deviant in their eyes.

In their opinion I should be alone for the rest of my life, marry a man, or leave the country.
How can parents that love their child say something so cruel?
They are so visibly ashamed and disappointed by my ''problem'', and they even sent me to the psychologist to try to get rid of my ''dirty'' thoughts.

Every time my father was driving me to the psychologists office he'll say.
''Promise me you'd try''. And almost always my answer would be.
''You know I can't promise that''. He would get teary eyed and I would get out of the car.
And I always felt like a failure for not saying something comforting, for not lying, for being myself. They both made me feel that way, and I understand that they were both conditioned by society to not believe my word, and to be disgusted by what I am.

Heterosexist society won this battle, but I'm still not giving up on war.
This queer is not dead, yet.

 

Alexander, there is a difference between supporting you and fueling your anger. Granted a lot of posts here do not resonate with you, but they do have their wisdom in encouraging you not to let anger consume you.

I fully understand how parents can sometimes do things that are really really really destructive to the happiness and wellbeing of their kids. And it is easy to hate someone who causes you pain and it does feel good to be able to lash out your anger. Though do you believe that it'd be healthy in the long run?

If everyone here fueled your anger and vented together with you on how horrible your parents and straight people are, would it help you escape the situation you're in? After being able to give vent to all your anger, would you be able to feel better in the long term or would you feel the same again and again when your parents piss you off by doing things again and again to hurt you?

Learning how not to hate and get angry is one way to solve a problem. In certain cases, if you don't let it harm you, then it won't be able to harm you and all is good. But I doubt that'd work for you in the very long run since it takes a lot of wisdom and willpower to be able to love and enjoy the company of people who don't understand you and take on actions that are not constructive for your happiness. Though I do suggest that you might consider not resorting to hatred so easily as it would cloud one's judgment. Breathe, and calm down and take solace in the fact that one day you'd be able to do what you want for your own happiness. No point making your life more miserable by drowning in hatred.

 

I will not lie and say that I don't become frutrated with some of the heterosexual people in my life because of their sometimes ignorant views, but at the same time it is so backwards to say you hate them.
Anyone that is any kind of queer has been discrimnated against, if not to their face then by society in general. It is just as ignorant for us to be hating them.
I'm queer, I can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender identity.
I often feel as though some gay people think that I "have it easy" cause i can date dudes and come of as straight by doing so. That I don't understand what it's like to come out and feel judged.
We have all been fighting to feel okay about who we are, and it's people who are straight or say they are who make us feel so crappy. They only way we can stop that is to make them understand and open their freaking eyes. Hating them won't make anyone feel better.
We hate them for what they do for making us feel like shit but hating them isn't going to make us stop feeling like shit, showing them they are ignorant as shit and getting them to open up, will.

 

@Alexander69:

You have every right to say how you feel without the majority of other LGBTQ people on this thread getting "offended" and trying to silence you or throw mainstream heterosexuality back into your face, when it's quite clear that the last thing you want is anything to do with heterosexuality at the moment and need some real queer advice from a real queer to a (possible queer) gay. [Note: keep in mind, I didn't see what country you're from, but I'm from America, and I will just speak as if we are both from America to make it easier to comprehend.]

All you're trying to do is vent. I get that and fully understand that and respect that; apparently others on this thread don't and seem to only want to argue, rather than offer anything positive or of value to say. You should NOT feel ashamed for stating how you feel. If the other people have a problem on this thread, they can not comment and just leave----otherwise they are wasting their time. They can also get mad and 'offended' about how I'm reacting to their ridiculous reactions, I don't really care, I'm an adult and can handle it.

Your post with the peoples reactions to it are laughable in the most disgusting way and reminds me of how the majority of LGBT people now want to be heterosexualized and white-washed into nothing more than carbon copies of the very things that are against them, truly hate them, and 100% against their sexual/spiritual expression and freedoms (including freedom to express sexual orientation without being repressed by a discriminatory dominant hierarchy brought on by the ignorant white patriarchal heterosexual middle and upper-classes [if blacks or Mexicans or any other culture ran America's dominant racial culture then I'd replace "white" with the corresponding race---so I'm not 'racist', to all those who get off on calling people racist when you know damn well I'm not]). How they (the heterosexualized LGBTs) want their "special rights" (that's EXACTLY what marriage of any gender/sexual orientation is under the Law and will always be until we get rid of marriage altogether on the Legal level. Marriage is as discriminatory of an institution that you can get when the law is involved, and I do not understand why LGBT, especially QUEERS, want these "same rights" as these hateful institutions that only recognize certain relationships at the expense of what Queer truly is [being able to be poly, not wanting to pay taxes because our gov't and tax system is broken and only favors the rich, etc], and being able to pick and choose who it wants to discriminate against or criminalize) and "pro-discrimination" rights from the very groups they so desperately want acceptance from (mainstream heteros, religious heteros, the IRS/government entities, big Academia [believe it or not, but many in higher education in America are against real Queers and LGBTs---don't believe me? Check who the company that creates your Financial Aid money cards and then come back to talk to me about it; that financial aid card company is only the tip of this icy iceburg, my Friends], bleeding heart liberal heteros against queers but all for the repressive monogamy-based "marriage" of LGBTS while rejecting the very thing Queers are while trying to silence us and the authentic honest lives we lead [last time I checked and as history has shown---heteros in general don't have a great track record when it comes to being honest decent human beings and it truly shows in politics/religion/throughout history], etc), that truly hate LGBTs, especially sex-positives, female-identified ways-of-life without being silences by males and male-culture, and Queers!

Man, I feel for you, I truly do. I never want to get 'married' and I am sure as hell never having kids---why? Because I'm a real Queer in this world and have felt, and still feel, many times exactly how you feel in this so-called 'liberal' gay-friendly (instead of 'gay-friendly', Washingtonians should say this: you're only accepted as a gay if you follow our repressive heterosexualized carbon-copy of the very people we despise and despise us: the monogamous, upper-class, 'educated' [LMAO, the only people who need educating are these backwards repressive 'educated' liberal/conservative elites], sex-negative, white heteros that laugh at real Queers every chance they get) State of WA. All the people who are replying to your post with negativity and opposition---they are no different than the ignorant heterosexualized middle-class that victimizes/criminalizes the homeless and Queers while hypocritically saying they support the Queer and LGBTs and Underdogs; 'nuff said.

Now, as for your family, they are right in calling it "special rights". But if your dipshit family is also married and hetero, than they are nothing more than hypocrites that can't comprehend---because they too have these so-called 'special rights', my Friend. It's quite apparent that your family is full of idiots! So, just smile and laugh them off.

Now, I understand the LGBTs and Queers on here who want to be protected under Law from evil sh*t like conversion-therapy and not having 100% equal custody/rights as the dipsh*t-ass married hetero buckets. But you all need to understand that we don't need to have 'marriage equality' to accomplish these important things, we don't need marriage at all; society needs to learn that 'hetero/homo monogamous marriage' is NOT the center of society/universe and that society can function perfectly without marriage being the center of the world!!!! Christ, if I hear anymore about marriage I'm going to binge and purge. Also, mono-marriage silences real Bisexuals and Polys. Last study I checked, about +60% of Bisexuals/Trans were poly/real Queers!---so yeah, mono marriage is absolutely insane to any individual with critical thinking skills and wants to respect others who do not believe in this way of life being pushed onto everyone/pressured on to everyone as if it is the be-all-end-all of life.

I should add, I'm not saying we should all avoid paying taxes either. No. I'm just highlighting that our tax system is corrupt as are many other things in this country/north America/world, and we should either reform it or abolish it altogether. If we do reform it, I hope we follow a consumption-tax business model rather than a discriminatory one that judges people based on who they stick their penises and vaginas into in their personal lives. I honestly can't wait until we live off of 'soul power' as a currency rather than this discriminatory crap known as 'money'---I'd rather live in a world where people get 'paid' more based upon how caring/loving they are to others.

As for condemning all heteros, let's just say "most" heteros rather than all... cuz you know, you don't want to offend all the hypocritical LGBT and "queer" people on this thread. Thank you so much for all of you in this thread for understanding my humor, I come in peace. <3

 

Old thread...I hate heterosexual men...Heterosexual women are good people in my book...

 

Dat irony...

 

I know plenty of heterosexual men that are great friends. If anyone tries to be homophobic they won't stand for it.

It sounds like your family is causing this problem, yes? If would casually try to correct some of their beliefs through education if possible. Otherwise it says you live in Vancouver. As I understand Vancouver has a large gay community and like the rest of urban Canada is pretty accepting overall. I'm sure you can find people who will be completely fine with who you are.

 

To the people who have recently responded in this thread, it is great that you are making an effort to reach out to this member. This thread, however, is over two years old and the original poster is no longer an active member of this site.

Anyone who wishes to discuss a similar topic is very welcome to begin a new thread though!

 

Yeah, lock it already!