Okay, so I think it's time that I start talking about this, because you know what psychiatrists always say - the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one. So here goes. I'm really, really, really insecure about how I look. And the weird bit is that it's not because I don't think I'm attractive. I'd date myself, but I'm not terribly sure I'd call myself back; maybe that's because only I see my own (perceived) imperfections, but idk - kinda lost here. I'm blind in my right eye and have better than 20/20 vision in my left. This has caused a bit of ptosis to develop; it's about this bad: And it bothers me a lot. Oh, and my nose is a bit crooked. It's about this bad: And it bothers me a lot. I'm also overweight, and this is what impacts my self-esteem the most. I used to weigh 262 lbs, though I recently lost some weight and am down to 238 lbs. I'm still losing weight, and it's coming off fast, but for the time being it's really affecting me. Oh, and I have scoliosis. It's not that bad, but basically my spine is curved in a slight S shape. Because of the three-dimensional conformation of my malformed spine, it's not terribly noticeable, but medically it is classified as severe because my Cobb angle is 54 degrees (normal is <10 degrees). With a shirt on, it looks about this bad: I guess I just needed to write all this down. Any advice/words of encouragement/anything I may or may not find useful would be much appreciated.
Everyone, including professional models, has imperfections of one sort or another. In many cases people either don't notice, don't care, or even find the imperfection cute/hot/endearing. I didn't actually notice anything unusual in the pics you posted and really wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't mentioned it. Without knowing your height I can't form any opinion about you weight and anyway you've indicated that issue is being dealt with already. Just a matter of time, patience, and sticking to you diet/exercise routine. You are/will be fine in other words My 2c worth, Todd
Hey Todd, thanks for the response . You're kind, I appreciate it. For reference, I'm 5'11. But thanks, I hope you're right
If the models that you have shown are a good approximation of your imperfections, I would agree with Todd and say that you have very little to worry about (especially if you would date yourself!). How's Hamilton these days? Hope you get in to McMaster's, it's an excellent med school!
Thanks greatwhale It's been great, I'm going to McMaster for Health Sciences . I love Mac, really hoping I can stay for med school .
AKTodd -some great advice. Couldnt have said anything better myself. I couldnt see any imperfections in the above pics at first sight, but I guess because you know yourself inside out, so you cant help but feel imperfect. Dont. You dont need to feel like that. Everyone has their flaws, thats what makes us all individuals.
As many have pointed out above, the pictures look fine. Though, truth is that there are a lot of better looking people with insecurity issues. And sometimes I find that it's a vicious cycle where people ignore all the evidence that they are fine and entrench themselves in evidence that they are not. In the end, I think you should consider moving towards being comfortable with yourself. Some people will like you, some people won't. The fact is that some people are hot and some people are ugly - world isn't fair like that. Take a look at the people around you and you'll definitely find people who, physical attractiveness wise, you'd find much more revolting than yourself. What's fair though is that everybody is capable of coming to terms with how they look and finding happiness with what they have. The choice is ultimately yours on how much you fuss about your physical attractiveness and how much you let it affect you.
Imperfections/flaws give character. FWIW, I'd *definitely* date/callback the people in the pics you posted.
Thanks for the words of encouragement, and I think you're totally right - it's a vicious cycle of confirmation bias. I'll make a conscious effort to accept that my imperfections really aren't that bad. Your words really helped me (*hug*). Thanks Chickzak and lull23, that actually makes me feel a bit better (*hug*). Thanks, you're kind .
