Yeah, it's not hard to find. I've been called names, insulted, as well as others common homophobia that goes around. I was assaulted a few times in my past too and got a few nasty concussions, scrapes bruises and a few separated joints that hurt like hell; heck I wasn't even out back then, I just looked too gay :dry:. My parents aren't great about it and I've heard my mother call her gay coworker names when talking about stuff while she generally said nothing about other people. They're both a bit backwards and I just hope that they won't freak out when I come out to them. I almost flipped some stupid kid that came up all puffy and angry with me a few weeks ago, it was so hilarious though that I just laughed it off and defused the whole thing. I tolerate it ok, but it's difficult sometimes. I just stay away from the religious wackjobs, anything I say to them won't make a difference and will eventually filter back in some skewed way to my family. A whole load of nut-jobs, cults, junk like that around here and I avoid it the best I can.
My parents and sister were transphobic prior to me coming out...who knows if they still are now. Basically one of my friends has a boyfriend who happens to be trans*, and one day my parents met him...which was unfortunate really. I introduced him as my friend's boyfriend, but when they left my dad got on my case saying "HE" was a she, and I should have never called "her" my friends boyfriend, because "she" was not a boy. He also went on to say it was a little creepy, coming from a guy's point of view. Needless to say we had a long chat about that, but I continued to hold my tongue about me being trans* as well. Then not too long after that, my sister wanted to see a picture of my friend's boyfriend. So I found one picture, and she kept calling him an it, which made me sick to my stomach. I tried to fit back exclaiming "It?!" and she was like yah, you can't tell if it's a boy or a girl!. Then...with my friend's boyfriend still on the subject. My sister and her boyfriend later attacked me asking me what he was like. Of course I kept using male pronouns, as one should. But she was like if it has a vagina it's a girl, and blah blah blah. Then I proceeded to say I believe it goes much further than that. Then her boyfriend asked me if I wanted to be a guy, and I didn't answer him. I just walked away and left it at that. Then they stopped with all that after I came and and apologized making sure I knew they weren't just talking about all trans* people. So now they call him a he...but they still call me a she. :dry: I don't get it sometimes.
I have experienced so much of homophobic/transphobia during my life... I remember growing up, some family members always said that I would "grow out of my masculine phase". Even at the time that I was being told these things, I thought it was a ton of BS. I also remember my elementary school calling my parents because I was not acting like a "typical" female. My parents told the school to get over it. Throughout middle and high school, I was looked at as the odd kid. People would make the common remarks, but that was nothing compared to other bullying that I was facing at that time. When I actually started to come out, most people were accepting of me. The few that were not made my life a living hell... (It's in spoiler tags because it's long... there is a ton of background info that I had to include.) Spoiler You see, I used to be a youth president at a homophobic church. Actually, I did a lot there. I was a youth president, tech person, bell choir member, special music member and I always volunteered. Looking back, I just tried to keep myself busy so that I didn't have time to think about my sexuality and even my religious beliefs. I graduated high school in 2011. All of a sudden, I had all of this extra time that I had never had before. So, I started to have those feelings again. I realized that I was not straight at all. So, I took to the internet to find resources to help me sort out my feelings. This is when I joined here. While I was questioning myself, I continued to go to that church. It was only then that I realized how crazy homophobic most of the members were. I came out to some of my friends that also attended that church and they were fine with me not being straight.They had joined the church around the same time that I had. I was the person that recruited them to come. I realized that I needed to get out of there. Luckily for me, I was leaving for college in the fall. Right before I left for college, I came out to my mom. She was 100% ok with me. She was a little shocked though. It was a good thing that I came out to her first, because I would need her support later when I told the church about my sexuality. Coming out in college was actually fun! There were some people (like my first roommate) that were homophobic, but I go to a pretty liberal campus. One of my favorite homophobic comments to this day is "she's a lesbian, she has no soul..." I haven't heard very many comments this year thankfully. For National Coming Out Day, I decided to come out to my youth director/second cousin. I wrote him a letter (found here) and sent it via Facebook message on NCOD. He didn't respond for a month. When he did, he told me that he always support me, but he didn't like my "decision" to be gay. Too bad I didn't realize that he was lying when he said that. He attempted to out me to the entire church. He didn't realize that he was the last person that I told though. He (and a few others) tried to have my scholarship taken away. They didn't succeed though. The pastor wouldn't allow it to happen. After that, we argued on Facebook. A lot. We eventually came to an agreement to stop. Our final (and worst) battle happened on the "turn Facebook red day". He snapped at me and I snapped back at him. We banned each other on Facebook. He sent me a message telling me to "have a good life". He then gave my number to a random guy that said he could "take the gay out of me". I quickly blocked both my former youth leader's number and the creepy dude's number. I experienced a ton of homophobia on Facebook because of coming out. All of those people that were saying that I am "going to hell" are now banned. Facebook has been a lot quieter since then... Honestly, the only reason that I made it through all of that is because of my family, friends and this forum. I could only imagine how these people would react if they knew that I am trans*. The only transphobic thing that I've had happen here in college is people thinking that I am in the wrong bathroom (in my residence hall). Once I explain to people that I am trans*, that clears things up for them.
The other day I was jogging with two of my now Ex-Friends. We were just talking trying to distract ourselves when all of a sudden, my "friend" who I'm pretty sure knew that I was gay (i mean, i posted it on facebook, and hes my friend on it lol) Told me about how he got hit on by someone who had moved. My 2 "friends" reminisced on how faggy (hate that word with a passion...-.-) he was and that they were glad he had moved. I literally stopped jogging and just stared at them, realizing that maybe they didnt know. Either way, then i jogged way ahead of them and havent really talked to them since. Pretty sure they caught on, because they don't care to try to talk to me anymore now. It also sucks when your coach is one of the most religious homophobic people you know. Im just WAITING for him to say something. Hes going to become a priest and quit coaching/physical training next year, which is good for him I suppose. He reads his bible 24/7 and researches biblical/religious ancient texts on his laptop all the time. Anyway yeah, it happens almost daily for me, but i dont usually mind - this time it was from "friends" and thats why i kinda flipped.
After I came out I experienced homophobia from my parents, and I still do whenever we talk about anything related to homosexuality. My father even told me that he's proud of his homophobia, and told me that if they(''normal people'')start hanging homos as those great muslim's from the middle east, there will be much less fags willing to come out. He said it with a smile on his face, and he probably expected my reaction, but I was too stunned to say anything. Yesterday I was talking with my mother about feminism, and it all went well, until I said something about the book I read while I'm preparing for university. I said that it was strange to me that all women wore bra's, but all men were completely dressed. Something triggered her when I said that. She went on a tirade about lesbians, how they hate men blaah, blaah... She's afraid that I'll meet only out lesbian in my city (let's call her Elle), and that we'll have ''disgusting'' lesbian sex. The thing is that I already met ''Elle'', and we are dating each other. It's all in good fun.:lol:
I haven't personally experienced homophobia (it was never directed at me, probably because they didn't know I was gay) but my family is against homosexuality. Although I've not brought the topic up with any of them recently, I know what they think of it and I don't want to hear it from them. When I casually mentioned to my grandmother that the UK will (?) legalize gay marriage, she was disgusted by it and when I asked why, she said 'Because that's unnatural. Don't you think it is?'. I haven't mentioned it since but she keeps going on about me finding a husband and having children. Once we were watching one of the music channels and Alanis Morisette was singing and playing the guitar, my grandmother said that she wasn't acting feminine enough and then I asked her what should a woman behave like and she said 'graceful, feminine, delicate...'. But ever since these conversations, I couldn't help but wonder if deep down she knows I'm different. What if she's known since I was little, that I wasn't acting like a heterosexual girl? I mean she had two daughters and two nieces who turned out to be normal and went on to marry men, and then there I was, her first (and only) granddaughter, not in the least interested in boys. Last week, I remembered a conversation I've had with my mother a long time ago. Maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I told her about a boy that a lot of people were saying was gay, and my mother told me that you can't know at that age if you are or not, that no one knows at 14. Also, I know that my brother hates gay men. But why? I have know idea. My grandfather is against homosexuality as well, then there are some relatives whose opinion I couldn't care less about, unfortunately they are the ones that support me financially at the moment...So I'm probably not going to announce I'm gay just yet.
I honestly can't say I've received much, if any at all. I've yet to run into one homophobic person in college, though some might make some insensitive remarks because they are simply unaware of the subject and don't know about me being gay. My brother supposedly accepts me but maintains that it's a choice, which helps him cope with having a brain that's been fucked up by injury and substance abuse, so I don't give it much weight anymore. There was one comment on red-out-Facebook-day from an old youth leader about the slippery slope argument to allowing gay marriage, which I crushed in two comments to where he didn't feel like responding. For growing up in a Southern Baptist church in one of the most conservative cities in the nation, I've been extremely lucky.
Yes. When my old roommates found out that I wasn't straight, they told me they didn't want me living with them the next year (we had all already resigned leases). Thing is, I had told one of my roommates months before, and he was very supportive. When the other one found out, he somehow convinced the other roommate to try and get me to leave. Needless to say, a year removed from them telling me they wanted me out, I am still living in the apartment, and they are gone.
I've talked to some straight friends of mine who I am not out to. They talk all the time about a guy that is most likely straight but has a "gay" hairstyle. I put gay in quotes because it is just a freaking hairstyle, so it can't be gay or straight. They call him things such as fag and queer behind his back. I always try to kill those conversations as soon as they pop up.
I haven't. I get the feeling (just from what's been said in this forum) that people in the US have to expect homophobia. That's weird to me, 'cause neither myself nor any other LGBT person I know has ever experienced it - not even 'school banter'. I wouldn't say I'm just lucky either, I just don't think it happens in some places.
A drunken girl called my girlfriend and I "dirty d*kes" when we were making our way home after Pride last year. It was so deflating so soon after we were surrounded by love and celebration of who we were just an hour before. What was even worse was the fact it was more than likely Pride she had attended. It's obvious some just show up for the party, not the reason behind it. We've also just returned from a skiing holiday where we were innocently holding hands in an Après-Ski bar and a man sitting nearby sneered at us the whole time we were there. There have been other occasions where people have done the whole nudge and nod towards us thing if we're holding hands. Like we're the first gay couple they've ever seen!
Luckily, no one has ever been directly homophobic to me. Though I had this friend in college, Niall. Before he knew I was gay, he and I used to go to field trips and camps together, sleep in the same bed, swim naked at a private beach .. Lol.. (it was a bunch of us guys doing guy stuff) There was nothing sexual about it, cause he was like a brother to me. After I came out, we still remained friends, but small things changed. Like he would go to a separate room just to change clothes, bear hugs became handshakes, that sort of thing. Not exactly homophobia, but I did kinda feel discriminated against cause I would never really hit on him. Yet he became shy and conscious around me. That hurt.
I'm one of the lucky ones. My family and school are all very accepting, Homophobia is considered disgusting.
When I was just coming to terms with my sexuality a girl I befriended at a party spread a rumor I was a huge raging lesbian and that I tried to kiss her. I never even liked her. All she did was bitch to me about all her boy problems and bum smokes off me. It's really hard that someone I honestly just wanted to be friends with would spread it in a negative way. In actuallity it probably made me a but hesitant of my orientation because of her negativity. I still to date hate this person and the party crowd (who are my friends) all now hate her for reasons unrelated to me. I guess if you're a bad person you won't need any encouragement for people to hate you.
im closeted, but my family...mainly my moms side is very homophobic. i was watching new normal and brian and adam kissed. My mom was beyond disgusted and went on a rant about how it shouldnt be accepted and theyre all going to hell
