yeah i have cheated on the past... and the chicks paid me back and so i have been in fights coz of me cheating... i know what i did was a low blow so off course im going to expect them to do something... so whats your point? ps: people have different ways of facing it... ive been in punch on's most my life so that's just how i handle it...it aint the best tactic but it works for me... and i aint much of a talker anyway... ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2013 at 05:44 PM ----------
As someone who's averse to violence, I can't relate. That was all. I was also curious to see if you were a hypocrite (it sounds like you're not), to be blunt. So... Nothing's really happened except that I learned more about you. I totally don't mean that in a creepy stalker-ish way. I feel like I've derailed the thread in no small way. Apologies to the OP. Take a banana or three as an apology. (!)(!!):dead:
I would probably just pack my crap and leave. So long as I knew for sure she cheated. There's no going back from that. I'd probably be a wreck though..
C'mon, man. I get that we're smaller and weaker, but I hate the "don't hit girls" mentality. There are lots of reasons you wouldn't hit a particular person, and gender is only one of them - if the problem's our size, then would you beat a smaller guy? Would you beat a guy who was in worse shape than you? The fact of the matter is, beating somebody up will hurt them regardless of their gender. So if you're going to say "I don't beat up girls" you might want to consider "I don't beat up people" instead. Anyway. I've never been cheated on, but I'm sure I would feel betrayed and very hurt. :/ I'd probably cuss them out and try to make them feel bad, let's be honest here. But I would certainly break up first chance I got because there's no way I could feel comfortable in the relationship after that, and I'd be constantly worried about whether there was cheating going on. I don't waste my time with that junk. I guess I'm sort of an "end it first, ask questions later" type of girl.
So, if your girlfriend cheats on you, both her and the one she did it with pay for it (although not in the same way). And if your boyfriend cheats on you, he's the only one who pays for it.. not the one he did it with. Am I correct? See if you're gonna be conistent, the one your boyfriend cheated on you with needs to pay as well. Right? As for me.. I'd ask him why, let him explain, then make him very clear he threw what we had away for that one time thing (assuming it was just a one time thing), then show him the door.
I honestly don't know what I'd do, would I forgive him or would I throw him out. I'd probably forgive him.
I would disappear from her life immediately. It was happened to me with my first ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, we bumped into each other after two years. It is harder to avoid seeing an ex in a small deaf world. When you go out socially in the deaf community, the odds are great that you will run into your ex-lover. That's so cool, right? :dry: However, we remain friend as long as she respect me.
yeah but chicks bruise easily... and their reflects aint as strong as dude's...ummm if the guy is a stick i aint gonna waste my time... i want a fair fight so i'd just scare him... but then smaller guys never crossed me ever... so, ill cross that bridge if i ever do... ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2013 at 06:11 PM ---------- yeah sorry, i thought i put it in there bout the other guy.... so yeah they would both pay... i dont mind doing two on one...
Agreed. I am all about the forgiving later on, but as of now, gtfo. I am not about a lifestyle of picking up the pieces in a decaying relationship. Even if you've invested time and emotion into something, it doesn't mean you should force yourself to put up with someone who does not respect you. :rolle: All in all, no one deserves to suffer the pain of a cheating significant other. (*hug*)
Keeping in mind that the definition of cheating can differ with different people, especially if they don't identify completely as monogamous in nature, as in they may be polyamorous. For me, I'm defining cheating as being sexually and romantically involved with someone new without saying anything or letting the person (people) you're with know about it at all, or also deliberately hiding it from me. If I knew about the person already and was okay with it, that'd be a different thing. My first reaction would be to flood them with questions. 1. When did it happen? 2. Was it a temptation that built over time, or was it completely random? 3. When did you realize you were going to cheat? Did you think about doing it before it actually happened? 4. Were you at all under the influence of anything? (Drugs, alcohol, etc.) 5. Did you ever once during the cheating stop to think of how I would feel? (Big important one.) 6. Why did you actually cheat? Were you pissed off about something? Was it something that was bothering you and you felt you couldn't talk to me about it? 7. Do you still want to stay in this relationship? 8. What would you do if you were in my position? Etc. Even though I'd be completely hurting, I'd still want to get in their head and figure out why they did what they did. It would be interesting to know, and a lesson to learn from in the future. Also, unless it was with a family member or with a friend I personally know, I don't believe I'd really care who they cheated with, nor would I want to know. I'd rather not know their name, what they look like, or anything else about them because frankly, I don't think it helps anything. The person I'm with is the one that I'm more obligated to be concerned about because most of the responsibility falls on them.
See, I'm the type of person who doesn't immediately get mad over anything. I am and always have been very analytical. When my first and only girl friend cheated on me for the first time, I asked her what compelled her to do it and if she planned to do it again. From there, I took some time to analyse our relationship. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't what she needed and so she went elsewhere to find the whole I couldn't fill. From there, I told her that I loved her and explained the conclusion I came to. She didn't immediately see the truth in my words and promised she wouldn't cheat again. She so desperately wanted me to be enough. And I love her, so I couldn't deny her the chance to figure it out for herself. We continued our relationship and I was supportive of her finding what she needed elsewhere. Eventually, she realized I wasn't what she needed in a partner and we ended our relationship peacefully and on the best of terms. We still love each other and we support each other. That's just the type of person I am. I love too fiercely to let anything ruin my relationships. If it was something that could be fixed easily, I would have worked through it with her, but it was just a relationship that couldn't last. So I focused on making sure our love did.
Personally, I'd dump him on the spot and start crying once he's out of my life. Then I take my revenge on my ex. Afterwards, I would focus on his new bf and take my revenge on him. Yes, I'm a vengeful person.
As a polyamorous person it's not the fact that they were involved with someone else, it's that they broke our rules and/or hid it from me. I would be highly skeptical about how much they value honesty and communication, for sure, although there might be some instance of cheating I could forgive. I guess it depends on the situation. ---------- Post added 2nd Apr 2013 at 09:14 PM ---------- Great list. And polyamorists FTW! (!)
My gay little heart would crumble. As for the cheater... I'd completely cut them out of my life. :dry:
It'd be the end of the relationship forsure I'd be upset, sad, might even cry, and mad. I could also become very angry, in which case he better run....because even though I'm not normally a violent person I do have a bit of a temper (and I don't know if someone put me past that point, I can't say if i could control it/what i might do) In the end I'd very likely be absolutely heartbroken & devastated (even the thought of heartbreak gives a bad feeling inside I don't want to know what the real thing would be like.) can a person die of simply heartbreak? that might be the end result ----- It probably is a good thing that I've never dated
I used to have the mindset that if someone cheated on a person, the immediate response would be to break up and basically hold a grudge on your former partner, but somehow as I grew up, and mind you that I'm still growing, I think approaching the situation with at least some consideration seems like a more appropriate answer. Especially if your boyfriend or girlfriend admits to you that they cheated, I would feel inclined to at least hear them out and not completely ignore their excuses. As Thieves mentioned, there are several questions I would want answered before I make a decision. I'd still fear a reoccurance of course, but I'd like to think that if I really loved the person who I was with, that I wouldn't be able to give them the cold shoulder that easily, nevermind cutting them out of your life. I'm not really a fan of polyamorous relationships though; I just grew up used to seeing monogamous relationships and think I'd be happy in a monogamous relationship.
