Do most people get these "but what if I'm not?" feelings?

Very common. It sucks. Don't feel bad. And ask away, thats what we're all here for.

 

Im out to many people and i still get that thought! It really sucks. I had the thought of " what if i come out and im not actually gay?" Ive never been with a guy or girl, so i cant really say for sure. But the years of having crushes on guys wasnt for nothing. When i came out to my family, i told them i think im gay. So theres always the room there.

 

Jup, that's pretty common, especially when a person is thinking about coming out...

I don't know if it helps but that's how I solved it:

A) I told some people I was gay,
B) some other people I was bi and
C) let all the others think I was straight

I made the first two groups promise that they wouldn't tell anyone. I'd spend equal amounts of time with each group, being completely open about the sexual orientation I had chosen for A, B and C.
After some time I realized that "acting" straight/talking about guys (in my case) felt horrible, "acting" bi felt even more horrible because I started feeling like a slut, while "acting" gay felt just right.

So that's how I got rid of my doubts Well, I didn't get rid of them completely, but this little "experiment" helped me figure out what I wanted.

Anyway, that's just my story and you have to overcome your worries and doubts on your own

Good Luck to you

 

Umm, that's an interesting experiment - what if members of two or more of the three groups were together with you is the only risk I can see in it

And yes, the "what if I'm not" feeling is very, very common. I'll admit to having it as well, which was my problem in coming out all along. But once I accepted that, yes, this is indeed who I am, everything else just fell into place.

And don't worry about starting a ton of threads, they're all coherent and thoughtful

 

Never apologize for asking questions.

I get these feelings sometimes as well. I mean I know I'm gay, but I haven't actually done anything with a woman yet, so I get these, 'what if I can't do it when it comes to the crunch?' feelings. I know they're just natural and I'll be fine, but yes, I get them too.

 

I think that most people do, yes. I certainly did. I felt like it was fine being sure in my head that I was gay, but the moment I told people, that somehow seemed more final, and I didn't initially trust myself enough to know how I felt about other guys.

What helped me was looking myself in the mirror and saying, "Yes, you're gay." And then, walking down the street, or in the library, or wherever, I'd see a cute guy and allow myself to think, "Oh, he's cute!" and things like that. It took me a little while, after I'd come out to myself, to get comfortable enough in my own skin to come out to someone else. Just like coming out to people tends to get easier with practice, so does saying to yourself that you're gay. Honestly, I think that saying, "I'm gay" to my friends would have been a lot harder if I hadn't been saying it to myself for a while first!
I hope that helps.

 

I still do sometimes, but they've gone away this week

 

Oh God, if I had a penny for every time I'd felt like that... Well, Bill Gates would have to look out!

 

Aye, I think many people have these feelings at one point or another.

In the early days, when people were curious as to the label I would use to define my sexuality, I started wondering whether I was actually sexually adaptable rather than bisexual. A small distinction perhaps, but enough of one to make me obsess over whether I was genuinely attracted to people or just responding to the strength of their feelings and not wanting to disappoint them. Silliness.