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Got asked to speak at my old High School

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Absentminded, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. Absentminded

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    So, I got asked by a few old teachers to be a guest speaker at my old high school, in support of their GSA, which is just ending tips first year, and is looking for ways to reach out, I suppose you could say. I offered to both guest speak, and write a piece for the next school paper, if the GSA wanted to have something in there. I was just looking for some feedback as to how this sounds. I'm also going to use it for when I do go in to speak.
    Please take into note, I wrote from the most raw and honest perspective that I could, and also that I was the only lesbian openly out in a rather homophobic environment.

    "I'm not going to lie, my experience as an openly queer female at Randolph Union High wasn't the greatest. However from what I've heard about the new group, GLOW, things have improved. This piece isn't being written to criticise, but to educate and reflect upon the differences between life in high school versus the real world.

    Here's a short background. I came out as a queer female during my Freshman year. It wasn't as easy as most people would think. I started out by talking to a couple of teachers and a couple of close friends who gave me a piece of advice that I'll never forget; Be yourself, and don't let anybody get in your way.

    At first, I didn't really understand it. Like most teens, at the age of 15, I was still trying to figure out a lot of things; most importantly, my future, and my identity. Things were confusing enough as they were, and coming out was a step that made things a bit more difficult.

    I stopped hiding, but I definitely didn't have any idea of how things would change. I lost a few friends that I had known for a really long time, and became a bit of a loner for awhile. I can definitely say that being shoved around into walls and lockers, ending up with a couple of injuries from a fistfight, along with being called numerous names (f****t, dyke, homo, etc) on a daily basis made things seem like an unescapable reality for a very long time. I slowly watched my grades slip, my performance in nearly everything but music come to a halt.

    One particular experience sticks out in my mind. Freshman year, in class, I had two or three guys that were non stop harassing me. My teacher wasn't paying any attention, and didn't notice when I asked for some help to stop it. I'm not an advocate for violence at all, but this one threw me over the edge. Tossing a desk wasn't a bright idea, it really wasn't, but after a lot of lecturing and learning the extent of the bullying, it never happened again.

    Now lets fast forward to senior year. By this point, the bullying had dissipated some. People started being a little more mature, and also realised that I wasn't putting up with it anymore. Teachers, along with some of the same students who harassed me opened their eyes a lot more to the fact that yes, RUHS had a bit of a bullying problem that needed to be addressed more than it was.

    Lets fast forward again to post high school and present day.
    It took awhile, but I had a lot of people being supportive, I stopped taking things to heart. I'd gotten the identity thing down and and didn't care what others said. I was being myself, and didn't have the burden of fear and anxiety. I took a step forward and more or less gave myself a new start in a different location. It was there that I realised this; people don't care about trivial things such as sexual orientation. They see the person you are and judge from there. The so called "judgement" that you receive in high school, IT DOESN'T MATTER, because its temporary. Most of these people that you're in school with now? The chances of you having to see them, or associate with them are next to none. Reality is harsh. Trust me.

    High school is nothing like the real world. I ended up going to an all girls college. As a lesbian, you'd think that there would be issues, with the mentality of someone just getting out of high school. I never once got harassed; I never once had an issue with any of the 40+ girls and women that very well knew about my sexuality. At every job I've had, I've never had a problem with it. People are a lot more accepting towards others, and a lot less tolerant of harassment.

    Being bullied, it sucks. But don't think it's going to last forever. It DEFINITELY gets better. I'm also really glad to hear that the bullying problem is being addressed more frequently, not just in RUHS, but nationwide. I'm pretty sure that we all know how much it hurts to be bullied in one way or another. What's the point in it? Educate yourselves before acting out upon something you don't understand."

    Any feedback/criticism, etc. would be greatly appreciated :smilewave
     
  2. photoguy93

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    I like it - you make a lot of good points. In terms of speaking, I would definitely bring up the benefits of this group. You can honestly say "hey, my experience here wasn't the best. But it slowly got better. Now, you all have an opportunity to make it truly better for someone who is struggling." A group of my friends tried to get a GSA at my high school - it was met with a "we don't want a place for you all to go have sex." Yeah.....so you're really at a good place!

    What kind of audience do you think you will be dealing with? Fairly accepting? Mostly accepting? Not so much? any ideas?

    And...btw, good job! It takes guts to do this!
     
  3. Absentminded

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    Thanks. I've been out since I was 14, I'm now 20. So, even if it's not the most "accepting", I can work around it. The teachers also know that I can take care of any "issues" that get brought up.
    The school doesn't know exactly what classes it's going to take place in, but I'm hoping its in a humanities class, where the kids will actually have to think, listen and reflect. I'm also not sure if its the high school, or the junior high.
    Ironically, they finally went through with my original suggestion of a GSA....from my sophomore year???? I just didn't have the support then. It's good to see though, no matter the timing.

    I know a lot of people are going to very much disagree with me for this next part, but I do want to include a little bit about the damage it does to flaunt it and shove it down people's throats. But after doing it from 14-18, I've definitely found that finding a balance, and being more subtle will get you further than being ....well......a little too flamboyant. I'm not saying to blend in with the norm, but don't make being LGBT your entire identity, and all you are. I'm finding it difficult to explain, so I can only hope that people are understanding what I'm getting at.:dry:
     
  4. Eurinthe

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    I think it's a great piece! I can't think of any criticisms, though one possible suggestion is to comment a bit more on the coming out process. I don't know the culture of this school as much as you do, but I imagine there are people who want to come out, or rather, are absolutely terrified or have no idea how to begin. If you include a little bit about what motivated you to come out despite any fear and consequences, that might help comfort the LGBT members in your audience.