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Hello World

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Cool Bananas, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. Cool Bananas

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    I found this website by accident, I was searching for something else gay related and this website popped up on search, and I thought where has this website been hiding, I could have used it as a reference over the last 2 years.

    I had a quick browse around, I have probably been reading this website for the past 3 weeks non stop, I have given up reading on most other websites except for a very popular social network one. :lol:

    So after reading the site for a day I wanted to look at another members posting history but to do that you need to sign up for an account, only small problem was that I have a couple of standard usernames I use on different sites but it had to be something different. :confused:

    A few times reading this website, I come across members posts and go, yep, me to and been there done that and had those exact same thoughts, sometimes I look for the like button. :rolle:

    So my story, I guess I didn't think something was right about 15 years ago, when I got talking to an older guy who I liked and I felt some physical and mental attraction to, I just enjoyed talking to him. They actually reminded me of a high school teacher I had a 10 years earlier, but at the time I didn't want to be in a relationship with that person I just wanted to be like that person, I was good at their subject so the being gay part didn't come into my mind.

    I used to play a lot of sport, took up my weekends for years I still participate a few times but not as much as I used to, and in this sport there were no gay members at all so I wasn't aware of anyone being gay. I wasn't really interested in getting married and none of my close friends were married and so I thought maybe a nice girl will come along eventually but it wasn't that important to me.

    About 10 years ago I took up a new hobby, and this new hobby had a few gay members some were vocal but others you didn't know they were gay until you had met them for a while.

    I got chatting to one friend who showed me a link to a thread about who was gay, and a few I had met and didn't realize they were gay. My friend even asked me if I was gay, was I giving off some negative vibe, but after a year or so I thought I must be. A different gay friend had asked me about 6 years ago was I seeing anyone and then I admitted to them that I was gay. He was very shocked. So after that I would tell a few gay friends each year. So 2 years ago I told a straight friend and he said he had no idea, was very shocked, then after a few months I was getting rather stressed and thought before I tell any other straight friends I should tell my parents. A few things came together one day, I got drunk and told my parents I think I am gay, they didn't believe me and thought I was going through a phase.

    So over the last 2 years I have been telling more and more people, I told my brother, and then the parents agreed that yes maybe I wasn't going through a phase. I told a few people not many but a few and most were surprised, they had no idea, and I guess I have come to a stop and maybe I should tell the friends who I played sport with that I am gay, I joke to a few friends that this sport is my past life and I can go back into a time where it was easier, so maybe I am looking for ideas or encouragement.

    But it doesn't quite finish there, so with this new hobby some of those acquaintances have become very good friends, I had been talking to someone who when I first met them they were very nice, they are a few years older but they had been married so they couldn't possibility be gay. So over the last few years we always got along well, I was always very careful speaking to them as I felt some attraction to them, but it was more the mental side of things more than the physical. So about 2 years ago they made some very strange comments, and after they made the 2nd or 3rd comment in a few days, I thought, did I hear that last comment correctly, mate you almost sound like you are gay but are too afraid to admit it to themselves, a few comments they had made over the previous few years I mulled over, after a few weeks I told them I was gay but I got mixed response with their answers, they didn't admit to anything. I like them and sometimes they almost want to get to know me but are too afraid to take it any further. I haven't spoken to them for almost a year as a few conversations have ended badly over the previous year. It hasn't effected me with the group as I still catch up with these friends but the other person hasn't so I almost felt like I have caused them some grief which was never intended.

    I did read that a few of you had friends that you thought could be gay but they can't admit it to themselves, so in a way my story is different but has some elements of similarities. I can wait a long time for someone to be honest with themselves but other times a few friends have said you are best to forget that friend and move on and maybe find someone else that you could have a relationship with.

    So I continue to read the forum, and wish you all well on your stories which will hopefully inspire others to come to terms with their sexuality.

    And no my username wasn't inspired by the stupid (!) my username is cooler than that. :icon_wink
     
  2. Music Heals

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    Welcome to EC! I hope you love being on it and continue to!
     
  3. ForgottenRose

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    Hello an Welcome!
     
  4. BradThePug

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    Bisexual
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    Some people
    Hello and Welcome to EC!!

    I love your username!
     
  5. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Welcome to EC! hugs
     
  6. campervankid

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    Hello cool bananas!! Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  7. Gaysibling

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    Out to everyone
    Hi Cool Bananas,


    I feel a bit funny welcoming you to this site when you were the one who told me about it in the first place :icon_wink . Anyway, welcome... and thanks
     
  8. Cool Bananas

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    I am not sure how many people make updates to their first post on this website but I thought I would post mine.

    6 months later I am still here, my mood has changed a few times; first I was amused that there were so many of us still struggling to come to terms with our sexuality, then I was annoyed because of things I had done in the past, but lately I have come to the conclusion that I am better for finding this website.

    I told my best friend I used to play sport with that I am gay, that took a few hours to get to it, what a stress, but at least its done, he was more disappointed I hadn't told him sooner.

    I had a few suggestions from different friends to get an App; more the better if you can't find what you are looking for from one.

    Then I was asked to move cities for work, which meant in a way I could start a new life :eek: so I moved to the West Coast from the east and then got to work with the new company and got to work on the apps; eventually started chatting to a guy who I have met a few times now, yes he is older and was also married.

    Seems like the older person who isn't properly out still have some hang ups I guess years of conditioning that being gay was wrong, then you have people who are my age who go, oh well it happens and then you have those who are around 20 who have no hang ups at all.

    I had a mini high school reunion a few months back and one friend asked why I wasn't married or in a relationship, so I told him, of course they were a little surprised but it was again like, oh ok; are you seeing anyone or words to that effect, that yes its a shock but it happens, its who you are.

    I still haven't heard from the guy I have a crush on, I guess he isn't ready to talk, I sent them an email a few months back as I missed seeing them at an event they attended, I guess they are still not ready to talk to me, in the email I included a link to this website.

    Reading through the Later In Life Section on EC there are still users who have posted but still take ages to accept that they are gay so the waiting game can be long, and that is why I downloaded the apps, I might meet someone better or at least have some new experiences, which I am with this guy I met.
     
  9. Feijoa

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    Hang ups are funny ol' things. You can go throw an age and not think you have any and then BAM there they suddenly appear.

    But glad you are still around EC and posting, good to hear :wink:
     
  10. Cool Bananas

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    Is it bad to do a 3 year update.

    Some small changes other big changes, well back where I started 3 years ago; physically that is; work moved me back to my home city. The guy I had been seeing for a few months back in September 2013, well he sent me a text one day saying he needed a break, oh well keep looking so I kept looking and found other websites, then I found more new friends and then that leads to new things who know more people.

    Started chatting to another guy about 2 years ago and still seeing them.

    I guess looking back the process is slow and things take a while to happen. There is always people who want a quickie and some will get upset if you don't want to do anything on the first meeting, they don't want to date they just want to get into bed.

    One of my trips back east to where I am living now met a guy; (not really partner material but friend material) showed me a new group of local gay friends. so there are people around who want to date, well eat out and get to know you and not necessarily get you into bed.

    For people new to this website I guess you can't rush things, take your time; some will want to get you into bed, and some you like and some you know it doesn't feel right or you just are not interested in that person which is ok as well. Sometimes you will meet people and you might sort of like them but you know that a relationship won't happen out of it but you might meet another good friend.

    I do have a couple of good friends from the west coast, just guys I like to catch up with for a drink and a dinner, and maybe play on the bed. Some people will always be single so that should be ok as well.

    The friend I had a crush on is still not really talking to me, I spoke to him about a year ago so maybe there is some progress, but hard to tell, from reading this website its not uncommon to have a crush on someone who just doesn't want to talk to you and I guess would rather you weren't in their life, such is life.

    Its good to have someone you can be with, and we have been to a few different places in the last 18 months, places in Australia that I didn't think I would ever get to and met new people along the way. They live in a different city but after a few weeks apart I do get the urge to want them to be next to me in bed, someone to sleep with and to wake up with, not someone you necessarily need to have sex with them ever 5 minutes.