Hello all, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I don't know which bathroom to use when I'm in public. My gut tells me to use the men's room, and I feel uncomfortable in the women's room, so I would usually use the men's room. However, a couple weeks ago my mom saw me walk into the men's room and flipped out, yelling at me and getting my dad involved. Long story short, it was awful. Now I just avoid going in public with them, but it's made me feel so self-conscious about which bathroom I should use. I don't have an STP yet (I want to get one this summer), but when I walk in and head to a stall, nobody looks at me funny. It's not like I'm dressed like a girl; I'm a guy and I'm out to my family, so I wear men's clothes and a binder. I have to use the women's room at school, which is incredibly awkward for me when I'm clearly a male in every way except for my genitalia. How do you all (other trans* people) skirt around the bathroom issue? What do you do?
If I'm dressed in girl mode I use the women's. if I'm not I use the men. It really has reached a point where I feel uncomfortable either way.
There is no problem at all with you using the stall (cubicle) in the Men's restroom, I prefer to use the stall as I sometimes suffer from "Shy Bladder Syndrome" the inability to pee standing next to a stranger at the urinals, as do a lot of other Guys, so nobody would bat a eyelid at anyone using the stalls, plus you might be going for a number 2
There are city-wide family and handicapped restrooms you should take note of. They serve as excellent de facto trans restrooms. My school has single handicapped restrooms that trans people use all the time.
Yep. In public, I always use the handicapped restrooms. Depending on if I look male or not, I'll use the mens or the womens at the movie theatre or other places that don't have unisex/handicapped rooms. At school, I try my best not to use the bathroom but if I have to, I just go into the girls bathroom because all I need is to get ridiculed for being in the mens. It blows but that's how it's gotta be done for now.
I try to avoid bathrooms all together...unless the place has a unisex restroom or I really have to go in one. And when that happens I just try to suck it up and go int the Woman's bathroom. It sucks though, and I feel really uncomfortable in the woman's restroom.
I would just avoid using the men's room when your parents are around, at least until such a time as they understand and accept you. If you feel more comfortable and natural using the men's room, I would do that- if you didn't feel any doubt about it before your parents got involved, I wouldn't let them ruin that for you.
FKH8, use the men's room. You're parents are seriously freaking out about a place where people poop. Tell them to mind their own business.
Seriously they need to come up with a mobile map application for GN bathrooms... I figure though if no one is complaining besides your parents... tell them to mind their own... if no one in the bathroom notices who cares...
I've also found one called transquat. I don't think it was free though and didn't seem to have the greatest reviews.
Public restrooms scare me so I avoid them unless there's a family one so I can get by without having someone look at me funny.
wow this is interesting i never thought that transgender people would have this problem... sorry to hear about this... didnt know how tough it is, for you guys...major RESPECT out to you all!!!
I use rthe womans when I'm with my parents I use the mens when I'm with friends, or alone. So long as its not too full or I will just hold it. I don't think using the cubicle makes people think you've had a dump, a lot of young lads do it cause they are still emmbarrassed to stand next to men and use a urinal. Well at least I think, its something my brother told me.
Honestly, if you are presenting as a male, you should use the male stalls. No-one in there is likely going to pry into your business. Most guys are pretty 'get the job done, and don't make eye contact" mentality.
I'm in the same predicament. I don't usually "pass" (I don't like that word) well enough to feel like I could use the men's room without incident, plus I am not out at work. I guess I look pretty androgynous most of the time which so far hasn't been a problem in the women's room, but it still feels wrong. I guess I just try to avoid using a bathroom in public if I can help it, which is often a problem on account of my compulsive hand washing.
