Why is finding a BF so hard?

I guess it could be the way you word your profile.

I use an iPhone GPS based dating app and it has very limited room for typing on the profile page. I've changed the wording a few times to now where I get limited messages from guys just wanting sex verses a handful of guys in the local area who are decent want want to chat.

Try looking at how your friends profile is written and try to adjust yours so that it's similar, but still describes you.

 

Perhaps you could use Photoshop or some other Graphics editor to include some limited text in the picture that indicated you were looking for friends. After all they do say a picture paints a thousand words.

I also have an app on my phone and am all too frequently disappointed with the quality of photos that people use to advertise themselves. Do you have a friend who can take a better quality picture that perhaps a camera phone photo taken in a mirror? Or is there a photography club in your town where you could perhaps ask advice on taking portrait photos or get someone to take your picture? You might even meet some new friends there, possibly gay!

Perhaps the background of the photo could include something that showed your interests or hobbies.

Sale Gay Guy

 

You know, it's funny you should mention that. It happens pretty frequently that a really attractive guy will have a hard time finding dates specifically because all the decent people assume he's out of their league. So if you see a guy who you think is "too cute for you", message him anyway! At worst, he'll ignore you; at best, you might just hit it off with him.

 

Looking "harder" for love will only blind you to the many opportunities at hand. At any point in time, there are a certain number of events/steps that sequentially lead to what you seek. The only problem is, we aren't psychic, and we can't tell the future. Knowing this, you need to listen to your surroundings, and figure out which direction to take. Quit thinking about finding love, and you'll find it.

 

Totally agree. I do the exact same thing. Even if it is a totally platonic relationship, if the guy is too attractive or too "good" looking, I think he's out of my league and don't message him. So, I end up not messaging people. I don't want the yucky guys, and I don't think I'm good enough to message the guys who are "out of my league." The crazy part is they aren't at all out of my league. It's crazy.

 

I found this is true. Allthough I get lots of hits in person for sex (BJs mostly), I had a real depression going on from being single over a year last November. Than HE walked up the driveway! I had stopped even tring when it suddenly happened. Complete shock on my part! Internet dating was a complete desaster for me. I listed some of it on a diffrent post. Yes I tested the gays around here by changing my pics for one day to my ex's brother who is a pro body builder steroids and all. I picked some of him fishing in a tight bathing suit at 26yo and I had over 200 messages in a day with a few guys begging to meet listing reasons why. One left 7 messages back to back. The text of the ad was not changed at all. I cancelled my profiles right away knowing the truth. So it is not you! Oh I am not ugly by any means as a man. June

 

This is honestly so true.

Well, we definitely know that its not that "no one wants you", so you can disregard those thoughts completely. I think I can relate a lot to how you feel. I get comments on my looks and phsyical features often, but I aswell have a much more "cute" than muscular/manly appearance. It all comes down to assumptions. For instance, since I dont refer or consider myself masculine, I go from the "cute guy" to the "twink who I would do, but dont believe I would have anything in common with him personally, etc."

I have found that I to do much better with finding people interested in me personally, rather than simply sexually, in person. In person, people are forced to experience more than just a face and they arent able to assume who you are from your picture. As far as, the dating sites. I havent tried them, but have known them to work for some. Its all pretty much a gamble. More attractive people get more sexual attention, but romantic attention is rare for everyone regardless.

 

Of all the things I've struggled with in life, dating has proven to be the most vexing.

 

this

 

You have to open yourself up. You need to risk being vulnerable.

That is why finding and maintains a relationship is difficult.

Personal risk is never easy.

Stucjk