Well the thing is, regardless whether you're "date-able" or not, there's no guarantee that you'll find those things in a boyfriend. Theoretically yeah you'll get that, but it's probably not the best solution. Have you looked into why you feel like you need validation and approval all the time?
I'm assuming because of my Abusive parents, lack of any friends, really bad bullying throughout junior high... I really dont want to think about it... And I dont really want to change it... I dunno why
But you DO want to change it. You want a boyfriend because you think it will make you feel better about yourself as a person. But it won't work--and the relationship will just end up being screwed up. You'll "complain too much." It's too much to expect of one person. We can't do a whole lot about the abusive parents. But we can work on the "lack of any friends" thing. Notice that the list of things you said you want are all things that people get from friends, not only from romantic partners. What you need is to have meaningful, authentic connections to people. Why is it, do you think, that you don't have any friends? What is causing that? Do you make any effort to make friends? It isn't something that happens by itself. You are worthy of the effort it would take. Do you not feel worthy? What are some different things you might do, to try to make friends?
Well I guess that's why you're here on EC in the first place! There are always people to talk to whenever you need them here, just like there are right now! So don't worry too much about having someone at the moment, just look forward to what might happen in the future and remember that people are always here to help you (*hug*)
I have "friends" at school, a better word is aquatince, I don't really go out to do anything, ever, and no one asks me to. No one goes out of their to do anything for me, even talk to me. At lunch at school I sit with the popular girls, but they kind of treat me like an accessory; I could never tell them anything heavy. I'd make friends on Facebook whom I would tell everything about my Life very fast and openly, so they would feel bad for me, but it usually doesn't last that long because they get tired of my complaining, dramatic life, I guess I always acted as if they needed to save me. I did have a friend I met last year who goes to my school, I would never tell her anything personal, but she would pour her heart out to me (she also developed a crush on me). I didnt tell her anything because I was scared that she would abandon me, like everyone else, and she kind of did when I told her I was gay... So, yeah ---------- Post added 19th Feb 2013 at 08:41 PM ---------- I also still haven't outgrown a (selctive) childhood social anxiety and shyness
I understand your feelings, because I'm somewhat the same position (minus the abuse, minus a lil bit of homophobia,minus ppl not excepting me as much, and minus not having no friends). Some of its kinda my choice for my social life though, because I'm kind of embarrassed of some things around me that I don't want my friends to see. I mean I do kind of sempathize with you for the weird thing, because when I moved from the outskirts of a big city to a small conservative town, people tore me apart, because of how conservative this place is. I think what you should do is embrace your weirdness (which is what I did), because that may be a way to make new friends, due to the fact that they will see that you accept yourself and are comfortable, which is an attractive quality for a friend, this could help you feel less lonely, and curve your want for the boyfriend. As for that, I know where your coming from, because of being a gay teen, you see a lot of lovey dubby straight couples that have it a relationship, which makes you want that feeling of attention, comfort, and need from somebody. I those feelings a lot as well, I mean us being 16 and gay, were bound to feel these feelings. Everyone can tell us we really don't need someone to love (which we probably don't), but we will always feel the need for someone to love us, no matter how many people will tell us we do not. I understand your feelings, because I have some of the same feelings, but we just need to realize that we have enough time. Were probably just hormonal. Haha. Wow I feel like I just gave myself a therapy session- Like I'm my own therapist. Don't feel bad, I have social anxiety too.... we'll grow out of it eventually though
