I don't know if this problem will get better when I'm out of the closet but guys have always been clawing eachother to date me. Which I guess would be fun for a straight girl but for a lesbian it is a nightmare. I have at least a handful of guys trying to pursue me right now and it is a major pain. I've been told that I'm a sort of fantasy for a lot of guys. I play video games and am super nerdy but I look really feminine. I think guys just assume I'm "hard to get" or something which makes them persistent as hell. I constantly get these guys texting me and facebooking me every day even when I tell them I'm not interested. I just wish I got all that attention from women. I wouldn't mind women whistling at me in the street or texting me every day. WHY!!!! What's wrong with me? Why don't girls notice me? I always fall for these girls that are super straight and don't want anything to do with me. It's not cause I'm ugly or boring... So what am I doing wrong? I tried dressing down. I don't spend that much time on my hair and makeup and try to look sloppier around my guy friends but they keep horndogging me. HELP! How can I get women's attention?
Oh gosh I'm the same way! I figure coming out to everyone would help this at least a bit; it's working for me so far
Have you tried online dating? What about going to a gay club? I've had a ton of success with online dating, but I haven't been to the gay club in a while.
There isn't an exclusively lesbian bar in my town. Next time I'm in a bigger city (I drive through one or two from time to time) I'll check one out. i don't have anyone to go with though would it be awkward to go alone? I can't do online dating right now. I communicate with a lot of people online (blogging ad such) and don't want to be outed through a website. I'm out to most of my close friends but coming out online is another deal... I'm not ready for the backlash and trolling that will happen after I come out on my blog. And I'd rather not be outed..
lol. This is why l hate the idea of dating women. it doesn't seem fair, does it? l don't think it's all about looks, l'm sure you're cute though. But guys probably like your personality more than other women do. The straight girls aren't shitting you down for any reason other than being straight so don't count it as a loss. And don't even hang onto hope of changing them xD Anyway, yeah...coming out wil help. One of these days l might give online dating a try. l think the key is to not say much around women, l try to imitate the way they communicate so we have something in common but it usually falls flat. THINK before you speak.
I had the exact same problem dear, and Im no hottie. Ill so admit it. I still get advances from guys but not as much, I came out, and at first no one I mean no one believed me. Then it was like Bam it hit them, and it was awesome, now the relationship I have with all those same guys is amazing. I love it!!!! I love woman, but I hate working with them. I know that sounds crazy but lets be honest ladies we are full of the drama, men are so much easier to work with now. And still yet I dont get the attention from the ladies but it makes it easier not getting hit on by guys every five freakin minutes. LOL Plus Im so much happier now then I used to be. Good luck darlin, the woman that you would like the attention from may not realize you want it if your not out. Just as you, alot of us feel we need to be careful,
It's awkward to go alone :icon_redf I've always feared that my extended family would see me on dating sites, but they can't out me without outing themselves. I'm pretty much out to everyone that matters, whomever I come into contact with on a daily basis. It's very hard trying to date while still in the closet, so perhaps you should work on that first.
Its a good point that has been made above, for someone to see you on a gay dating site, they would have to be on there themselves first so if they were to say 'I saw Asari on a gay dating website' then my response would be what were you doing on there. That being said, I can understand your concern. I think as others have said working on the number of people you are out to is probably the thing that is most likely going to reap the rewards you want.
I get that + lesbians! It is worse...neither want me to be a man!! They both try to almost idk "trick" me into being female to suit their desires...like lesbians saying dont be complicated, and wanna go to a lesbian bar, etc. If you are stunning, men will hit on you...I dress as you see in my pix, fully male, binder, etc...straight black men will hit on me. I really want to be on T!
I have the same problem, I look super femme. I do love attention from girls though (when I get it) I guess you could try going to lesbian clubs too. If you create a little social group some of these guys might get the message, it's easier for me now because I have a partner So I can just say "I'm taken" or if I really want to make it known I'll slip in that my partner is a female however usually most guys love that and they become more intrigued so I keep it ambiguous
That's why I can't tell my guy friends that I'm a lesbian. I know that's a terrible method to try and keep them away. lol
Lesbians will never hit on you if they don't think you like women. This is your main problem in that area. I know of no effective method of getting guys to stop hitting on you. Some will keep doing it no matter what. Well, actually, this probably is effective, if you can pull it off: [YOUTUBE]8wRXa971Xw0[/YOUTUBE] Only with new people you are meeting though. It won't work for your guy friends, they already know you.
