Would you date someone with low self-esteem?

I would try to.

But, my levels of patience and sympathy nowadays are in terribly low supply.

 

It depends on how low. If they're constantly putting themselves down then that's a big no-no. But if its just below average self esteem then its not a problem.

 

Hmm. l don't think so. l wouldn't be attracted to it.

l honestly don't find it sexy. Dating isn't like friendship for me.

Maybe a deep seated sense of inferiority that wasn't evident at first. But not something boiling on the surface that held the person back in life.

l think l'm very easily influenced by how a person feels about themselves. When an objectively pretty girl talks about how ugly she is, l start to see it too

And l usually feel like l'm almost responsible for the person's feelings and sense of self when they struggle with this, l don't want to be. That's too close to "controlling" them for me.

 

Agreed. I can't respect someone who can't respect themselves, unless they're already trying to raise it themselves, then I'll try to help. But if all they do is downplay themselves for literally everything, it'd be a huge problem.

 

Low self-esteem is a double-edged sword. It's like buying a broken down house "as is". You know right out of the gate that it's busted and needs to be fixed; but sometimes the energy and resources to do so are too much of a strain on a person. It also depends on the self esteem issues you are dealing with. Do they feel something is physically wrong with them like being over-weight? Is their sexuality a dilemma for them? Are they feeling trans stress issues? Each self esteem issue requires the right skill in knowing how to help. There may be a really great person under all of their negativity; but it takes a lot of commitment to get to it. Sadly, it is also possible that the person just can't be fixed and you need to learn when to let go. So I say if you feel that you can really help the person turn into a great relationship then go for it. If you have any doubts in your skills then avoid even trying. Chances are you will walk away from them with the feeling of frustration and defeat.

 

No. I can't date a doormat.. like. I find assertiveness and confidence extremely sexy. I sound weird, because my ideal girl is shy but has a strong personality and can support herself fully, but it sounds kinda contradictory, in a way.

I watched a girl at school have a guy shove right into her and almost knocked her over, and she didn't even say a word. It honestly ticked me off so bad that I went over to her and said, "You should've tripped that guy over or said something." She just went, "Yeah, I don't know." And she's god awfully adorable, but man, if you're that much of a pushover I don't know. It'd irritate me badly.

But I guess some low self esteem is okay, depending on what and what they're doing to help themselves.

 

This. Though it would really depends how that low self-esteem manifested itself.

 

Low self-esteem could be dangerous. I feel like people with low self-esteem usually don't have a good handle on their own personality. I'm not sure I have what it takes to help someone realize their potential. But, I'm making this judgment blindly, I'm sure if I see something in the person I would try. :lol:

 

Yes! I myself sometimes feel less than adequate, but I really try to kick out any negative thoughts. If the person in question genuinely tried to get to a better place, I would have no problem dating said person.

 

I dont know. I always play the psychologist for my friends and family. I dont know if i could handle being that role for my man. I feel like I kind of need a man who can stand on his own two feet. Of course id always be supportive and loving and listening to his stresses and stuff... but if it were a hopeless case and NOTHING was helping him, itd be so frustrating. I am always willing to help, but i cant beat my head against a wall forever.

 

Yes, as long as I feel he will come out of his shell with me. June

 

i already did. hahaha

but yeah , i would because ...its different from what i usually would date

we could learn from each other it seems

 

^Same here. I struggle with low self esteem everyday, and I refuse to have double standards about who I date and who I am. If I don't have it myself, I wouldn't ask my partner to have it. I work on this with myself. It's a constant battle.

However if they were looking for me to fill a void in their empty life that's a dealbreaker.

 

Let's row the boat together! We'll get there!

 

I was just singing that in my head. :lol: You rock my socks handsome!

 

no, i absolutely cannot stand it. especially if they're outspoken about it; so damn annoying.

now, like someone else said, if they were able to recognize this and puts in the effort of trying to change, then yes i'd help out. maybe not date, but maybe be friends with them.