Absolutely. People who are allies that try to fit in are usually the ones who try to let you know that they support you. But you can tell that they're just allies by hearing the way they say certain things. For example, "Oh, I just love gay guys. They're so fun to shop with!" Or, "There's nothing wrong with being with the same sex. Love is love and I support that." Usually people who are gay aren't as open and outgoing about the topic. And if they are, then they'll usually just tell you they're gay. For someone to have the courage to say they support something, wouldn't you think they'd have the courage to come out? If not, then that's where the mannerisms take place.
what if they do all that not because they are gay but think you might be? LOL imma sleep, reply tomorrow
Impossible! I'm a surprise lesbian! >:0 But if they happen to get a vibe from me, then congratulations to them! And then I'll usually just ask them, lmao. That settles that!
One of the two people who knows I'm bi has an absolutely faultless gaydar. It is actually so impressive. I came out to her only because my best friend told me she'd guessed the first time she saw me. I wasn't aware I was that obvious, but as she says, the more gay you are (or more accurately) the more you pay attention, the better your gaydar becomes. I think that while you can list a long set of "lesbian" or "gay" attributes, eventually it just becomes obvious to those who pay attention, and who tend to experience a similar lifestyle.
I feel like it's in the face. I do not know how to explain it, but queer folks seems to have slight differences in their facial features and I don't know how to say it or if I'm even right. Maybe.. females tend to have more "masculine" features, and males tend to have more "feminine?" That sounds like stereotyping and I don't like that, maybe it's something different altogether. But I think it might be in the face, maybe to do with whatever causes it. And bisexual people, I can see their own similiar features as well, including myself.
My gaydar works very well, allthough I can be difficult to be detected at times. My partner sometimes doesn't have a clue when I point out ones I know are. Little clues, that I pick up often catches him by surprise, and like anyone who needs to know, he will go and talk to him, (He does have the gift of gab) and comes back asking me how did I know, I usually tell him it's just one of those things where you either have the ability or you don't.
As we get older it's kind of less and less usual for girls as friends to hold hands and hug a lot. It's usually really easy to spot lesbian couples, as they're often very touchy, and they like to be playful haha. Guy couples are a little harder, if they're trying to be under the radar it's still kind of obvious. On the surface, if you aren't looking for it it looks like a couple of best friends who like to hug. There's also the homophobic reaction that some guys have, where they completely hate "fags" and try to bully others, but they show no interest in girls. Girls don't have to be masculine to be gay, my girlfriend is very feminine and she hates sports, the only thing close to athletic is karate. She also wears makeup and skirts most days.
Hells yes, LOL!... But you should also consider Anthemic in the running, she has some very good ideas on the subject - and I think she is right about the fingernails. I think gaydar also improves with those who do not fit the stereotype. I find that those who are very butch women or very effeminate men tend to have more trouble spotting someone who isn't out who is more straight-appearing, because they don't know what it's like to be someone like that. I look very straight (aside from a few extra earrings), and because I worked hard as a young person to try to change my mannerisms to fit in (I was very butch as a little kid), I now have very straight mannerisms - especially when I go out for something other than social time and am not very relaxed. But when I'm really relaxed and with people who know me, the mannerisms come out in a pretty visible way - I get very confident and chill and casual in my speaking, a little swagger in my movement, a little forward in my eye contact with or compliments of women, and here come all the interests in tools, sports cars, and playing or watching sports. But when duty calls for some formal straight event, I change back to hetero girl, put my heels and skirt on, and become very soft-spoken and feminine. I am trying to do that less, but it has been a habit for a long time - so if you met me at a work function or a hetero wedding, for instance, I would feel especially under scrutiny to conform and then it would be very hard to tell. There is only one stranger that I know of who was able to pick it out, and it was a femme bisexual who flirted with me at such an event, which she attended with her boyfriend but the flirting was when he was not around. ------ And by the way, any girl who says "Dude" or "Man" a lot in this day and age, no matter how feminine she looks, should be very suspect... that is my dead give away when I get excited about a topic at work. :rolle:
Allies tend to irritate me. LOL! I just want to live and have a career. Anytime I say something that could be interpreted as anti-gay or anti-minority, they go ballistic! I'm just being real most of the times.
I'm terrible at this. Literally terrible. i mean, other than observing stereotypical behaviour, and its by no means representative of all gay people.
I don't think I've seen this before... but bone structure plays a big deal in my gaydar. I've noticed gay bones versus straight bone structures to be different, to certain extents.
If a guy is sort of hyper-aware of his surroundings and peeking at guys, it sets off my gaydar. A lot of straight guys from what i've noticed don't really care about the guys around them, they are just trying to get from point A to B. They may look at a really hot girl or something out of the ordinary, but not really at other guys. A lot of times you can just tell by how someone looks at another. There's just this "look." I'm not that experienced, but I can definitely recognize it. For example, I was at a restaurant and, trying to be discreet, I kept taking very quick peeks at this one guy. I guess after maybe 5 times he noticed, and the next time i looked up, he was staring directly at me with this stare/gaze in to my eyes that felt like he was staring in to my soul haha, with a sort of cheeky look. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it actually happened. It totally caught me off guard, and I was way too uncomfortable to look at him again :icon_redf. But yeah, there is just this look a straight guy would NEVER give you. He was also with a group of girls that all seemed like friends and one "stereotypically gay looking guy," so I'm pretty sure he was gay or bi, although I wouldn't have necessarily thought so about him if he wasn't going out with that group.
WOW this is so true. I think the walk helps me figure out for a lot of girls--to help distinguish between tomboy and soft butch-ish/androgynous types. But I've never heard about this smirk before.
The walk is definitely a good way to tell. The smirk is something I noticed a couple of years ago. I guess this is because I'm very analytical. :icon_wink
lol, how do those awkward people or straight-acting walk different? lol. but then idk even how lesbians walk haha. some obvious gay guys might walk... with certain attitude, but other people?
Lesbians tend to walk with their shoulders slouched while their arms rock back and forth. They have more of a relaxed walk. Some lesbians even walk really fast. Straight women tend to walk with their head held high and their shoulders straight. Though this does not apply to all women, which is why I look at all the characteristics.
sometimes i wonder if i have negative gaydar lol.... i will look at people and come up with like 3 ways why they might act certain way
I think it's easier for lesbian/bi/questioning girls (any type of girl who might be paying a lot of attention to another girl's sexuality) to determine if another girl is also of the girl on girl persuasion. The walk is a swagger most of the time. Not all lesbians have it but if I see it I KNOW. A guy told me once I have pimp swag. You could call it that I guess haha
