Hi all, I'm writing this in hopes that I can help at least one other person out there. If you search my threads you can see my coming out story in detail but in short I came out last April and since then it has been incredible. My family and friends have all been very accepting and continue to show that they love me for me, not my sexual orientation. In August, I met an amazing man and we started dating. We have a great connection and I have never been able to so easily talk and share with someone. With time we discussed and started a sexual relationship. Before we did anything more than kissing we talked about sexual history. I was very inexperienced but he had been in several long term relationships and dated a few people before but he had been regularly tested for HIV and none of his partners had ever been diagnosed with STDs so we began to have sex and it was amazing. We have continued to grow closer, we've met each other's families and even went on a great vacation. Then came Christmas Eve. It's still kind of early in our relationship and so we decided to celebrate Christmas separately with our families and New Years would be ours together. I was at my parents house when my guy called. I could tell from the start he was upset. It took some coaxing but he finally got it out. Before I left he had a cold and had gone to the doctor. Out of an abundance of caution he had the doctor run a full STD panel because he just hadn't felt good. The results came back on the 24th and everything was negative except for Herpes Type 2, genital herpes. We were both in shock; we didn't really know what it meant, what to do or where to go next. He told me he wouldn't blame me if i never talked to him again. I guess I was still in shock but I tried to calm him down and assure him it was going to be OK. I then spent the rest of the night researching the virus and what it meant. I was relieved to find out that HSV is not life threatening and treatable but it is incurable, once you have it, you have it for life and you can spread it to others without any physical signs. The day I got back home from the parents, I was at the walk-in clinic bright and early for a blood test. They did a complete STD panel including HSV and then I had to wait for 3 days because the lab would be closed for New Years. The day finally came and I got my results and it all came back negative. I was relieved but I also knew this was not the end. I love this man. I really feel we have a chance to be together for a very long time and that is what we both want. But when you hear STD, when you grow up in the age of an AIDS pandemic that reinforces the idea that you will die if you aren't careful, fear sets in. The internet also does not help! There are as many opinions and conflicting statements on the internet as there are pages. But if you look at credible, reliable sources you can find sound information. But the most crucial action is we have talked together throughout this ordeal. He needed support. He was scared, scared for himself, scared that he had infected me, and scared that we were ruined just when things were going so amazing. The truth is herpes is VERY prevalent. It is incurable, for the moment, and it is emotionally damaging. It has some health risks, primarily that you have a higher risk of contracting HIV because of the sores that it causes. Women are more likely to contract it and if a woman has genital herpes during pregnancy it can be spread to the child which is very dangerous. The most surprising item to me is that STD screenings do not typically include testing for HSV unless you ask for it or if you present with symptoms and 90% of those infected with HSV do not know it. If you read this and you or someone you love are dealing with herpes please seek a medical professional. Do not rely only on the internet for information. And when you do research information stick to reliable sites such as the Centers for Disease Control. If you know you are positive for HSV discuss your status with your sex partners before you get intimate. They deserve to right to know and if well informed, we can look past this virus and see what a wonderful person is behind it.
Great post, and congratulations on what sounds like a wonderful relationship! I have never had an STD but I know plenty of people who have, herpes included. For some it can be quite painful and make them feel sick. In the US, they estimate that 1 out of every 3 adults has herpes. I know that friends of mine feel very concerned about whether someone they love will be ok with it, but there are practices to make sex safer, including of course not engaging in contact during an outbreak. It's true that there is no cure, but with the enormous population affected, I would not be so sure the person will have it for a lifetime - there is tremendous incentive to come up with better medications, and even a cure. As a note, I have friends who have said that olive leaf extract and extract of oregano have been helpful as more natural means of suppression, but of course one would want to be sure to get it from a reliable source and treat all herbals like medications that just don't have a label. Some use both a Rx and one of these supplements, I'm not sure if that is safe or not but it seems to work for them. I'm glad you're not leaving your boyfriend over it, especially if it is not indication that he cheated, because if you are both as loving as it sounds like you are, you can have a great long relationship even with complications. Life is never perfect, something is bound to come up sooner or later, and how you deal with it matters much more than what good or bad happens.
I'm glad everything worked out for you what's in a full std panel?...and your thoughts on loving people no matter what are great
Thank you for the encouraging comments! We are still working through it but I feel we have made it through the hardest part. Alwayshope11, my test included both blood and urine and they tested for HIV, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis A,B & C, and HSV-1 & 2.
Yea that what they normally do..they don't swab the mouth all the time. Hope everything is still goin well!
