Married & gay

Hi, Stuck. I just became aware of your situation. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time to respond right now, but in the next day or so I'll give you my input. I was married for 35 years and now have 3 adult children. I came out (was forced out) to my wife at the end of 2011. In 2012, I came out to my children, family, friends, and some co-workers. It was the hardest, yet most rewarding, year of my life.

If you have time, look at some of my threads and posts. They'll give you some idea of my journey, as well as some of user names and journeys of other members in boats similar to yours. If nothing else, what will read may help you gear up for whatever you decide your future will be.

I'll put out the word to some of the other older members. Hopefully you'll hear from them. Just know you're not alone!

I'll be back in touch soon.

All my best!

55

 

Hi Stuck - I was married for 26 years before I finally got the courage to come out last summer. In September I left my wife and got my own apartment (I came out to her a few months prior to that). You can see my old posts if you want the full story (maxx).

I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be much good to anyone else unless I addressed my core need to be with a man. Once I accepted that, everything else fell into place. Since then, I've met someone special and we've been constant companions. So yes, coming out and living an authentic life is possible, even in middle age (I just turned 50 last fall). You've come to the right place and we're happy to help however we can.

(*hug*)
Maxx

 

I was married for 10 years and never consummated the marriage. I was the one who initiated the parting. In truth, I don't believe that she ever would've. I've been single for just under 20 years since my divorce. I heard a few years ago that she now has a partner (which doesn't surprise me). I finally started coming out a little over a year ago. I don't know enough to say whether or not breaking the news at this time will help (for that matter, who does know enough?). It may be better to simply acknowledge that intimacy is not there and work out an amicable parting, which is what we did. It may work out better to take one thing at a time. I hope I haven't offended with these comments. Good luck and may Grace be with you.