Who Do Exclusive Bottoms Exist?

I'm a lesbian, so I can't say a thing about gay guys, but I feel I'm an exclusive bottom. Does that mean I won't give oral to my partner or finger her or do any other sexual favors? No! Not at all. And I also have less than 0 problems with receiving them all. I just strongly prefer to be the submissive one, who doesn't wear the pants or the strap on. I like it when my partner decides what gets done to her, because that means she really wants it. I can trust myself to be vocal about what I do and don't want, but I'm much more comfortable not having to risk hurting my partner by taking something from her she doesn't want to give. It's not about the actions, it's about the roles and the attitude.

 

I'm always the submissive partner in a relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm going to jump when they say jump. Well... not every single time. >_>
Me being submissive has nothing to with not wanting to please. I love to please. It's more of a role to me than who gets more pleasure. I am attracted to women who are taller and older than me. It's always been that way. Try imagining a 5'2" feminine lesbian trying to be the dominant one, lol. Yeah... It would look funny. But I did date a woman that had a fantasy of me dominating her (even though she still preferred to be the dominant one). So I tried it, and I actually did pretty well. But we came to the conclusion that I'm just not meant to be dominant.
For one, I have a hard time saying "no" to people. I tend to be a pushover as well. As I've gotten older, I've gotten a bit better about having a backbone. This doesn't mean that I don't have opinions. I am very outspoken and sometimes wonder if I have much of a filter. o.o;

 

Totallyyy... I love this explanation.
Bottoms are hot too though, and laying on our backs makes our stomachs always look in shape! :icon_wink

 

I don't think there's a spectrum so much. There may be some apparent trends, but I think that it's mostly all personal preference.

I'm more or less an exclusive bottom - I don't have the parts, or the money for toys. I'm attracted to younger guys, not necessarily younger than me but young, twinky types. I'm generally submissive, but I wouldn't say it comes from a strong desire to please, and I'm capable of being more dominant from time to time. Also, tangentially related, I call dibs on big spoon.

So yes. I stand by the idea that it's really all personal preference. Although admittedly, I do find the notion of marked trends fascinating.

 

I think exclusivity is bad. It was the downfall of my last relationship's sex life.

I was the exclusive bottom, mostly because the first time we had sex, I bottomed. Then everytime after that, that was the default. When i finally asked if i could top, he did, I was bad, but that's only because I hadn't really done it before. I loved it! I wanted more experience at it, and while i improved along the way, he was such a bad bottom that it was never actually fun for him, and in turn wasn't fun for me. So I went back to always being bottom, that got boring, then the last few months of our relationship we went pretty much sexless. It was never fun, and I always did all the work because as it turned out, not only was my ex an exclusive top, he was also extremely lazy in bed, and no matter how much encouraging I would do in the moment, or how many times I would talk to him about it outside the bedroom, it never changed. But the laziness part was us-specific...not really anything to do with anything.

So to sum it up, when I look at prospective relationships and I'm considering our sex life, I look for versatility. Taking on exclusive roles makes sex kind of humdrum.

 

I feel like no one really discussed the fact that personality accounts for submissiveness and aggressive ness.

I dont mind hair on a guy, and it can sometimes be hot, I don't have a preference for tall guys. I am feminine, but personality wise I'm submissive. I'm never the person to go "after" something or be forceful, i will willingly submit to things that i like to do or be in relation with. In nearly all facets of life, i like to play a submissive role and the idea of being aggressive in certain situations, like anal sex, seems so foreign to me. I think I would even have trouble enjoying topping, because i simply cant wrap my mind around the idea of me penetrating another man. I would feel like im not being myself. That isnt to say I wont ever try it, just that some guy would have to persuade me to do so and id have to like him a lot xD


Also important. Femininity =/= Submissiveness. While there is a sort of random correlation with feminine aspects and liking more manly men, its still in my opinion, more related to personality. I know feminine tops. lol

 

I think ifei's hypothesis and PrinceofAvalon are closer to the truth, here.

I'm pretty exclusive as a bottom, and while I'm transgender, I don't really think my gender has much to do with what turns me on, but my personality might play more into it...

 

I am a submissive bottom in the bedroom, but I am aggressive and dominant outside of it. I have body and facial hair, and prefer the same, and prefer someone within 5 years of my age (my official standard is "born in the 80's", but I could flex a little). So I guess I am bucking some of the trends. Don't worry about the trends and stereotypes, just do what you want and try to find that someone special that can jibe with that.

Also it's been my noticing that amongst couples composed of two supposed versatiles, they will almost always settle into a top/bottom set up after a little while.

 

For me, im bi, so i can do all my penetrating when im with a woman. So ive always only wanted to be the one being penetrated when i am with a guy. Plus, and i mean this, ive had times while being fucked and on bottom that were by far better than any sex ive had with women, and ive had some awesome sex with women! Seriously though i have way more pleasure from being fucked than fucking...

 

Old thread is old.

 

This is gonna get locked...As for the OP's question, I dunno...Different tastes in sex, I guess...I'm an exclusive bottom...I've topped on rare occassions, but I don't enjoy it...