Thanks for the offer of support when my time comes. It’s good to see that you had a more normal night and things are starting to settle down a little but I’m sure it's going to be a difficult time ahead. Also good to hear that you have accepted and seem comfortable that you’re gay and not Bi Sale Gay Guy
Been there done that. Finally stopped trying to be what everyone else thought I should be and fooling myself in the process. Proud gay man here, with two failed marriages that i regret putting the woman through.
Oh, congratulations! Coming out to yourself is the hardest thing of all for many of us. I know it's very difficult right now, but I think in the next few years, you and your wife will both be able to find relationships that are more fulfilling. Your wife said herself that she felt you would be happier with a man--it seems like she has probably felt that way for some time. I imagine it probably contributed to the on-again-off-again pattern that has characterized your marriage. In the end, it is likely she will be happier with a man who can truly be fulfilled in a relationship with her. On the other hand, it's important that you keep in mind that none of this means that your relationship has been without value or meaning. You and she clearly care very deeply about each other, and you've been through a lot together. It seems likely that, because of your sexual orientation, it will be best for you and your wife to separate, but that doesn't invalidate everything you did share together.
Thank you, Ianthe, and everyone else, too. We had some very important discussions this evening. We cried, I finally admitted to her I am gay, not bi, we talked about logistics..she was staring at my clothes closet and said how sad it would be when my closet was empty. It only dawned on me later that I've spent nearly every waking hour on a place called empty closets. Love to all. I can see that it is going to work out. We aren't out of the woods yet, but by golly, we are out of the closet.
Mixed day today. Rough morning as we went to a plant sale for our/her garden. Not much future of gardening for me, at least not in this one. Some silence, some tears, some anger from her. Then in our yard after we got home she gave me a giant hug and I felt a ton better. It ebbs and flows.
Things are quite frosty with wife now, and she is making noise about me leaving sooner than we originally discussed. We were going to spend the next 3 months getting things tied up and I was planning on moving on in late June. Now she says she can't sleep in same bed with me (although we've been mostly roommates in bed for a long long time). Our house is full and not huge, so I don't have a spare room to move into. Stressed, but still looking forward to moving on in the right direction.
Getting into a studio apartment at end of April, in same building that my preferred apartment will be available at end of June. Went shopping for a car yesterday. We have been heretofore sharing one. Looking at a Fiat 500 Convertible. How gay is that??
Hmmm... Before i answer... What colour is the Fiat 500 convertible? Does it match your eyes? :badgrin:
I just want to say that reading all that you and others here on EC are going thru is so helpful for others reading the posts, so thank you. Supposedly all of these difficult situations shape who we become and help to heal us. Too bad it has to hurt so much. I can understand many of the emotions mentioned by many on these forums due to my own current situation and my sympathy goes out to y'all and your significant others. Best of luck.
Molto bene Fiat verde! I'll take the red Jeep Wrangler with hard and rag tops. Now there is an idea... A gay 4x4 off reading club.
Things going along pretty shitty on the home front. Almost no talking, silent existence. I feel like I am dead to her now. Can't wait to move. 4 more weekends of hell.
A little better this evening. I got a chance to cry a little with her and talked about my sweet granddaughter. I think I will still get to be in her life in some capacity. Of course, her parents don't know yet why we are breaking up, so their reaction to me being gay is yet to come. I've been coming out to more and more people. Friends, cousins that are gay, old friends who I had lost track of when I played volleyball in the Seattle gay volleyball league, etc. I can see a time when I will be out to all. Not yet, but coming slowly.
I can relate to what you are saying, at least somewhat, in that I too have had bad sexual relationships with women and eventually thought I was bi. Then the older I got the more exclusively I thought of men in my sexual fantasies to the point that I no longer fantasized about women sexually. So I think of myself as gay with an evolving sexual preference
Thanks, that does sound familiar! It has been evolving and I'm no longer trying to slow that process down.
