home from college

Not anymore, but I used to feel like that when I was just coming out. Its one of those feelings that you can't quite shake off. Really unpleasant stuff.

Just remember its only one month and then you go back to normal!

 

I know this feeling wholeheartedly. I just spent all of yesterday staying up with my friends so we could hang out. By the end of the night (morning?) I got really standoffish unintentionally. One of my friends asked what was up and I realized that I was pretty much getting into the mentality of "oh, I'm going home soon". And that means keeping myself super guarded all the time.

I'm going to try to keep myself occupied as much as I can for the next 2-3 weeks - that means work, reading books, playing games, watching shows... whatever I can to keep myself from being bummed out. And of course, making sure I get out of the house frequently, partly so I can get some alone time and partly so I can get some fresh air (as I learned here).

 

yes, this is so hard. i have been 'home' or whatever for a few days now and it's really getting to me. people are difficult, i mean they're weird in relationships, like not healthy, and being away had been so good for me (this is my first year). i just want to leave, go wherever, and meet whoever... and it's gonna be three weeks and this is supposed to be really enjoyable. i had looked forward to seeing everyone. but i had thought they'd be on their best behaviour as i've been away, but they're being painfully normal by their standards. my parents have their substance issues and emotional shit and i feel very stuck.

 

Yep, I'm completely there with you about the whole break thing. Everything about being home isn't as good as I thought it'd be. Going from super-liberal college to conservative CO Springs is a slap in the face. I could do so much back in college and no one would even care/take notice, but here it feels like everything I do is being scrutinized.

How are you/are you going to deal with it?

 

yup, me too. Almost completely out, come out as easily as asking to pass the butter, actually fighting for trans rights on campus....
and at home partially closeted...squeeking the door back and forth for attention.

I not only have heard female stuff and my name and daughter...i accidentally 2 times slipped and called myself my birth name to mom from habit. hate being here and falling like that. i practically am begging mom to ask me questions abt my extraordinary maleness...much more than in past...but not one bite. i can dress male, be called a boy in front of her, slip in calling a transgirl he and back to she...not even a nibble.

home would be better if i were out and accepted.

i just found a homeless man hiding under our stairs and got him out...i should say drunk 20 year old with lighter...mom had door unlocked. even in how i take care of things like that around the house, mom just says daughter...how can she not see I'm her son? can't believe i feel more me anywhere but home now.

 

I'm so with you! I feel like I have to hide who I am at home and it's so frustrating. All my family does is fight! My mom keeps threatening to cancel Christmas if the house isn't spotless. I keep trying to tell her that the point of Christmas is not to have a clean house but to have the family together! Honestly I don't think that our extended family will care or notice if the carpets are stained. I've been trying to spend as much time away from home as possible. I even volunteered to watch my 2 year old cousin for 12 hours yesterday! My mom seems to be catching on to my plan and she's getting mad.

 

I feel homesick already for my college-town. My family are oke, but I really don't like the conservatism/homophobic area they're living in. On top of that all my friends who lived here have moved, so I feel really alone here : (

 

I tend to be more sad. Being more open at college than at home is part of the reason, but there's more to it then that for me, but I'd rather not talk about it.

 

I moved out of the house so that I wouldn't have to come home on breaks, but I still have to come back more often than I like, and my mom always complains when I want to go back to my own place two hours away. I have enemies here , not frineds, my girlfriend lives in the city where i go to college, and my family, other than immediate is conservative. Im spending tomorrow with my grandma, who I am completely in the closet with and it will be my six month anniversary with my girlfriend who I am away from and it is going to break my heart. She thinks I am just living the single life when I really am doing the opposite.

Your not alone- its a hard time for a lot of people.

 

Some movie places are open...escape to the movies...