Deal Breakers

Here are my deal breakers in order of priority:

1. Unethical. The individual is excessively selfish, a gossip, uncompassionate or violent, or holds reprehensible views. These include racism, sexism, heterosexism, transsexism, militarism, or the rejection of social democratic programs, unless such rejection proceeds from views in the social anarchist grouping. Additionally, I will not date someone who has a normative view or preference about gender presentation.
2. Belligerent masculine performance or gender expression intolerance. This could have fallen under (1), but it deserves special mention. I will not date "bros." Nor will I date people who "don't like femmes" (by whose definition? Yours?) or people who pride themselves on being "straight acting."
3. Incompatible sexuality within closed relationship. I believe in being, good, giving, and game. I expect the same. If an individual is not willing to engage in sexual activities I like, it is not reasonable to expect a closed relationship. Partner has to either be willing to do anal with me (at least penetrating me, ideally, allowing me to top him or her) or be okay with an open relationship.
4. Incurious. The individual fails to have the requisite curiosity and desire to learn about the world and take an interest in it. I love fantasy, being a gamer myself; but I need my partner to have a meaningful connection to reality as well and be eager to engage with it.
5. Inactive. The individual does not undertake regular, rigorous physical activity.
6. Incompatible target living situation. The individual wants to have pets. I am allergic to animal dander. I do not want to have kids at this time.

 

a major deal break is being to emotional.

 

if you don't want dogs on the furniture, that's a dealbreaker. it's actually funny to think about these because they can all be reversed - like somebody might say "if you allow dogs on the furniture, that's a dealbreaker," which would mean i'd be out, hahaha. what else. anyone who speaks hatefully toward any group or community. i can think of several traits that i wouldn't exactly get along with, but i don't think that's the same as dealbreakers. so i guess just hatefulness and dog oppression.

 

Flamboyant men, hates fish, hates dogs, hates fashion, hates the beach, wants kids, eats unhealthy, gets annoyed at me fast, doesn't reply to texts on time, doesn't call me, wants sex all the time every day, has no ambition, doesn't like to travel, hates the ocean, doesn't like nature, smokes, drinks everyday, does drugs, he is melo, is negative, hates when I call him "babe. These are just a few..... LMAO

 

people being conservative, scared of spiders, disliking dogs, or defending O'Reilly, Hannity, or Coulter.

 

I'm not really that fussy. But the things that I couldn't tolerate are:

1) Not being informed. It's important that you keep up to date with what's going on both at an national and international level.

2) Being super clingy. I like my independence. I don't want someone who gets upset if I don't call and/or text everyday.

3) A neo-liberal and/or neo-conservative. I'd struggle not to get along (smash their face in), let alone date someone a neo-lib and/or a neo-con.

4) Someone who is either racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, intolerant, arrogant, narcissistic, sociopathic or just a nasty person.

Smoking, booze and drugs don't bother me as long as he/she shares.

That's it really. Like I said I'm not that fussy and nothing on this list is unreasonable.

 

I say leave people who "don't date femmes" alone. Of course it's about femmes by their standards. Dealbreakers are all about their standards, and what they won't tolerate. Maybe it seems close minded to you, but if people can say "I'm only attracted to this gender, and not that gender" and have that be okay, why not have it okay to be attracted to some gender expressions and not others?

It'd be nice if the whole world were pansexual, but it's not. It's okay to not date people who aren't open to all gender expressions, but don't start getting a chip on your shoulder. Intolerance of intolerant attitudes is still intolerance. You're not any different that the rest of us. We're all only human.

 

Uhh let's see, I don't have alot.....
Someone who is super masculine or super feminine...I don't know why but, I don't find the two polar ends of gender identity very attractive.

Someone who is super religious...I'm an atheist, so I wouldn't want someone constantly trying to convert me.

Someone who does not accept that I am Pansexual...Dating a girl doesn't make me straight and dating a guy doesn't make me gay even if I marry them...I'll still be pan and they would have to understand that.

People who think because I can date both genders that I would cheat on them...or feel that they aren't enough for me...honestly it feels pretty much the same to me no matter which gender it's with.

Someone who has a very low level of intelegence...I want someone I can watch documentaries with and discuss the issue behind them.

Ovbiously druggies, people with STDs, ect ect

 

Because there's a lot of unhealthy masculinity out there that needs to be supplanted by healthy masculinities, but that can't happen because the latter are being perceived as "femme." And also because a fair bit of the time, I read about people disliking femmes for reasons which aren't legitimate. For example, "femmes confirm stereotypes about gay men." We don't have a duty to be stereotype defiers.

In my view, it's a myth that all intolerance is bad. Some intolerance is good. Like intolerance of bad intolerance.

 

Smoking/ drugs ext.
Animal hater
Very effeminate
Can't agree to disagree
Lack of goals in life
High strung
Less secure with themselves then me

 

-Smoking/drugs/alcoholic
-Doesn't know how to communicate
-No passion about anything in life
-Easily annoyed
-A non-Christian (I'll probably get hate for this...)
-Someone who doesn't show affection
-Lack of patience

 

Lack of personal hygiene

 

#1 is major for me.

---------- Post added 10th Dec 2012 at 05:48 PM ----------

oh and #2

 

Smokers.
Tattoos.
Piercings other than the ears.
Drug users.
Super macho guys.
Super feminine guys.
Selfish.

 

I kind of see what you mean. But I think that has to do a lot more with the negative emotions towards men who act more like women, partially because being a woman is still viewed as shameful in our society. And I agree that that, as well as unhealthy machismo, needs to be gone.

I think there's a bit of a difference between not being attracted to femmes, and thinking that they're somehow shameful and disgusting. I'm not attracted to femme women, but I don't think they're sellouts or fakers or anything else. And I know it's different across genders, but it does hold some similarities.

I'm by no means a stereotype defier. I embrace most of them with open arms and flannel shirts. I just happen to be a butch girl that likes other butch girls much much more.

I hear what you're saying. I personally think that all intolerances have to do with our own boundaries and insecurities. And those are truly a mix of good and bad. I tend to view intolerance as more of a grey, with only some of those ever straying as far as black and white. Most are very neutral, some are bad, a select few are good.