I feel like that the few times I have had good responses from when I come out as tricked me into believing that all of them will be good and the world will go on as it always has. It really hurts me to think that people are heartless but I know at the same time it is how the world is. I don't know what to do about this. I feel that I am tricking myself from reality and when I finally realize it I will be in deep pain..
I am sure it is the same for some people. I am lucky in that, so far, I have not had a bad incident about my sexuality. Maybe being called gay while having a last hug with my ex was probably the worst incident. But I know that in the future I am going to receive much worse and that is the way of man. You have to take the smooth with the rough. If you decide to retreat then you loose all that ground you have gained and have to, at some point in time, reclaim that ground all over again. You are not tricking yourself, my good man. You are merely assuming that the facts are good experience=general happiness in the future. You aren't deluding yourself because you are well aware of the fact that shit happens. It is only natural to think that the world is good if you have experienced good. You also naturally disregard the bad because in the end, if you are the kind of person that sees good in people and the world, you would rather weigh those bad events less than the good events. It's only natural and part of a process of making sense of the world around you. Heartless people exist. That is a fact no one can ignore. You will find these people in all walks to life, closeted or not. They are the kind of people I advise you endure, take their opinions with a very small pinch of salt, maybe even ignore. Their opinions are a minority in the end. I think you have already come to a realisation that the world isn't as rosy as one would like, fellow, and I think you are unsure what to do. All I can suggest is you take it as it comes and do what you think is best. Think about how things make you feel, weigh up the pros and cons, and then make your decisions. If you feel acute pain over this then really try to avoid making massive decisions on a whim because you could easily make the wrong choice for you. Chin up my good man. The world may look like the worst place in the world, filled with harsh, heartless, cold people. But in the end, that only goes to highlight and help you cherish the good and the honest in this world. Hope you start feeling better (*hug*)
If it wasn't being gay, there will always be something someone doesn't like about you. And me. And anyone else. Someone won't like my political views and dislike me for it. Someone won't like your religion and dislike you for it. Someone won't like my next door neighbor's nationality and refuse to talk to them for it. Accept that not everyone will like everything about you, and that being gay is merely one of anything that someone might not like. It's no different than anything else. Just the way life is for everyone. Do you really want to be friends with them anyway? It might hurt at first, but it will pass.
