do you believe coming out should be face to face?

Yes, it will be more rewarding for you, and it is also forces a person who is thinking about responding negatively to more deeply consider your humanity. Though I suppose your mileage may vary.

 

I don't think it has to be face to face. While it's less personal, I found that coming out through technological means (test, email, etc) to be a lot easier to do then face to face. Yes, some might say that it's less courageous and such, but who cares. Everyone has their own comfort zone and if you feel better not telling people face to face, then do what feels right to you. The point is that the message is still getting out there.

 

I personally would avoid facebook or social networking but if its worked for some people (as it seems to have for NordicSpirit) and it is something that you want to do then have a go.

Personally, I would do it face to face for family and friends. I found that not making it a big deal helped, they may well have their suspicions anyway so just say it and get it over and done with. Im not saying its not a serious thing but try not to overthink it - but your close friends and family will appreciate you doing it face to face. Dont shy away from the difficult things!

 

I think coming out is one of those things (bear with me) that is better to do in the bravest way possible. Getting it off your chest is tough, sometimes spitting out the words is nearly impossible, but the people you're talking to know that too. They might (in my experience at least) show enormous support and understanding, and in a very helpful, personal way. Getting a message that says someone supports you, hearing it from their mouth can be enormously encouraging. These are just my opinions, and so I hope you'll find the strength to do what works for you

 

I came out to differently to people depending on the situation at the time.

My mother through Texting.
My wife and step daughter face to face (did not go over well)
My Dad, cousin, and uncle over the phone.
My best friend through Facebook

Each one was due to what I was feeling at the time.

In all of them I was brave enough and strong enough to do it.

BUT facing the music in person was the hardest most heartbreaking thing I have ever done.

I can applaud those that can do just that, *In person* for me it was extremely painful.

 

I'm sorry to hear how much you had to go through Michael. I guess I had the advantage of just being among understanding friends, with few major relationships (like a wife or child) to affect so drastically. I guess it would be a lot more difficult to come out in person, if there was so much invested in the relationships... I hope things worked out in the best possible way for everybody.

 

I think in time things will be better. Chip has mentioned that for me the journey has begun, and for others to accept that may take some time.

So I just keep trying to learn to be a better person, and try to tone down some of the excitement of knowing I am GAY:icon_bigg

---------- Post added 19th Oct 2012 at 07:10 AM ----------

Because no matter what I am GAY, and that makes me happy

 

I don't know why you'd want to tone down the excitment since accepting this part of myself, I've never felt more excited, or more comfortable in my own skin

 

I don't get hung up on this kind of stuff and neither should you. Don't let this be a reason why you continue to stay in the closet. Just being honest, there aren't too many guys here that have the courage just yet to say it to someone's face, so that doesn't mean that you should continuously wait for the courage to do so because it's not extremely likely that you'll get that courage until you see it work in your favor. I've only told one person face to face that I was gay and that's because I was asked indirectly. Other than that, just like writing a letter, I took my time and sent them in text messages. Sometimes I follow them up with a call, other times I wait until I get to see the person again. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I guess my reasoning for telling someone through text message is because it gives them time to think about how they feel about it and digest it. Also, they are still in their element and their space, it's not an imposing thing. The time that I did tell a guy face to face, it made him uncomfortable initially because he began to feel like he needed to protect himself from my gayness by telling me he's straight. lol. By texting, they can then respond to me once they've sorted things out. It's kind of hard to deal with for someone else if they only thought of your this ONE way for the time that they've known you. So.. yeah. Don't let it be an excuse not to come out of the closet. There's no better way than to say it however you say it.

 

Well I am in a situation, where it seems that being excited to know one's sexuality is shown as a disrespect of others feelings. *sigh* So for others sake I try to keep the dancing:eusa_danc and laughter:lol: to a dull roar

---------- Post added 19th Oct 2012 at 07:27 AM ----------

Totally in Agreement with this :eusa_clap

 

The only thing that matters in your coming out is that you do it exactly the way you want to, and how you feel comfortable. I told some of my friends over text because that was the only way I could but I wanted them to know. It actually turned out better that way because then they are not forced to reply or to think of exactly the right thing to say... they have time to stew about it and connect it with their life before they say something back

 

I don't think it matters much. It makes things a lot easier if it isn't face to face, though. Personally, I started with an e-mail, then live chat, then on the phone and I eventually had worked up the courage to be able to tell people face to face.

I guess it gives you the feeling of being physically safer in case shit hits the fan, which a lot of people seem to deem likely. I know I did, but thats mostly because I had heard of the stories of people losing all their friends, being disowned and going into a depressive phase.

So no, I don't think it HAS to be face to face. But like some already pointed out, you should do it however you feel comfortable with, because coming out should always be on the coming-outer's terms.

 

I think face to face is best, unless you just can't get the words out, in which case a personal letter is second best.

 

Why should coming out be face to face??
Coming out is not about them (the ones who hear it). It's about US (the ones who say it). If you feel like telling them vía MSN or FB message, go for it.

I came out to several of my friends vía FB chat or text message. I wasn't seeing them on a regular basis and I wanted them to know. Of course, given the type of news, they soon requested to meet me to talk about it (mainly them asking me questions about my gayness... lol).
Nonetheless, only for my close family I wanted to do it face to face (well, my sisters vía Skype given that they live in a different country).

Personally, my sexual orientation is not all I am. I don't feel an obligation to tell people I'm gay (why should I?? It's none of their business who I like and who I don't)...
For me it's just annoying to be coming out to people all the time. Especially to people that don't matter... and again, that I have no obligation towards to.

Nonetheless, I make comments that make it obvious that I'm a lesbian.
Like: "Olivia Wilde is so hot", "Brittana/Calzona/Pepsi is/are the hottest lesbian couples on TV", "I have a crush on X girl", "I really liked going to Pride... There were hot chicks there"... and of course, the "Say NO to Homophobia" rainbow bracelet.

 

I believe that coming out should be done the way that you want to do it. If you cannot say it in person, then send a letter or message. I've come out to people both face to face and by messaging them on facebook.