I've been discussing with reds123 but I just wanted to make a thread to hear more opinions. The people I want to tell I'm finding a hard time to find a good place to talk to them face to face. So I had though of posting it on our private fb group or by text but it seems too impersonal for such a big thing
Personally, I wouldn't use social networking sites to announce my orientation to friends/family. You're right, it is a personal thing. I think it's better if you tell people face to face; that shows a lot more courage/seriousness.
Whatever works best for you. Really, that's the only advice anyone can give. I could rant about how awful it is to do it face to face or I could rant about how terrible it is to do it over text, but ultimately - what do you want to do?
Not necessarily. A lot of times, I've come out to people because I couldn't do it face to face. The impersonal touch to sitting in front of a screen to do it actually really helps make it less difficult, in my opinion, and seriousness can easily be conveyed. Do I think it's more effective? No, but it being less emotional helped me, and everyone took me relatively seriously.
Make it a personal thing. I talked to one best friend in person, and the other over facebook. In person was vastly preferable. I think some things are better to get off your chest in the bravest way possible. Nothing gives me more confidence than hearing and getting support in a one-on-one situation. The internet just doesn't communicate emotions very well.
I think telling people things should always be done face to face. Ultimately this isn't always possible. And it is totally up to the person doing the telling. I came out to one person via text message, all others have been face to face. But really, that's just how I feel more comfortable telling them. In the end, coming out is new done as the person in question sees fit, be it through a well-written letter, a Facebook status, face to face, or any other of the myriad of ways in which to do so. Since coming of can be such a big leap for some people, doing it in the manner they feel most comfortable can sometimes make it just a little easier.
I would also avoid the social networking scene for something like this. I think things like FB are fine to spread the word to the more distant people in your life but I think coming out to those your close to should be more hands on. For me it has to be a face to face conversation, but there are other ways to keep that personal touch. It's never been my style but I know some people come out in a letter. I've read a couple of really beautiful ones on this site in fact, and it seems to work well for a lot of people. If you want to communicate this through written word, I would recommend that over FB, at least for those your close to. That being said, everybody has to figure out what works for them. These are only my opinions, not an attempt to tell you what's best for you.
I agree with most of the others that it is hard to come out face to face. I came out to my sister two nights ago and i cried for 2 hours. She was supporting so that was nice. I did come out to my parents over a text while in school and that was just really easy(despite the circumstances why).
Coming out to my ex over the phone was extremely hard, that involved a lot of crying from both of us. I think coming out in person is worth it though, it's hard but I believe its rewarding
To each their own, and some people have very serious/in depth discussions over text etc... however keep in mind: - the ultimate success of this coming out is in good part based on the person that receives the message being able to process it, accept it, ask questions, etc... - you know when you make the call that you're alone and in a private place, in a headspace to have a serious convo, but are you sure the other person is as well? or will they be taking that call while at work, shopping, in a car with a homophobic parent, get the picture? - It's about you (singular, the individual coming out) but it's also about you (plural, you and your friend/relative) and the relationship you have with that person - In the best of worlds it goes "I have something I need to tell you - Yea I knew already doesn't change a thing - done deal", but don't assume it's not going to be difficult to process for the person on the receiving end Phone-wise so far I have a 50% average, one went well, one not so much...
Yes, I only came out via other communication means when I couldn't reach the person by any means and the subject simply came up (not like I called/txt/msgd the person just to tell that). 90% been face to face, I respect other people's way to come out and I think everyone has a preferable way, but for me I think its something I had/ve to face not only psychologically but physically in the sense of coming out face-to-face.
well im suposed to be going to a 21st a week tomorrow with 2/3 people i plan on telling. this links with my coming out sober thread. i am 99.9% certain they will be cool with it (nothing negative with it being 99.9 and not 100% it's only 100% because I'm not psychic) i dont really want to affect the night but i came out to people on my last night out and it didnt shake anything up
This. I do 'like' to come out face to face though. I want to see the initial reaction people have, and there's no other way to see that than telling them face to face.
For me I have come out to most people through texting. What I'll prob do is come out to my close friends and family through texting or in person and then comeout to everyone else through facebook.
I have thought about this, too. I have come out to a lot of people on Facebook. At first I felt kind of bad about "cheating the system," but after talking to some of my other gay friends, they all said to do what's best for you. Though it doesn't always feel like the most personal way to come out, it was probably the only way I could come out at the time. I wanted my close friends to know, but I either didn't see them much outside of school or I would never be able to work up the courage to tell them in person. At first, I simply sent out a message to close friends explaining how they had always been such good friends and I wanted to be honest with them... I later decided to come out to friends when I saw them on chat. That way I could at least have a conversation with them and not wait anxiously for their reply. For some people, I would simply start out with "Hey, So-and-so, Can I talk to you about something that's been on my mind lately." With others, I would chat with them about other things and eventually get to coming out to them. No, it's not the most personal, and no, you don't get to see their reaction, but if it's the only way you feel comfortable at the time, then go for it. Whatever way you fell comfortable with is the best way!
It doesn't need to be face to face. I came out to my parents in a letter because I find that that's how I express myself better. I wouldn't use social networking but whatever way you feel is best.
yes coming out should be face to face. if the reaction is good it also builds confidence in who you are =)
Yeah, I came out to my parents with a letter. I gave it to them and stayed in the room while they read it, but I didn't have to say anything (I couldn't have if I tried). lol