Well hi, i'm Budewn. My real name is Ben but everyone calls me Dew. I guess I should start at the beginning then... I was always a shy, quiet kid growing up, didn't have many friends. Every time I got in trouble my father used to beat me senseless with a belt and then say "Tell ANYONE about this and there's more where that came from." I wouldn't really hold it against him, I did act out most of the time. One day when I was about 12 years old... my little brother was sick and I went to school on my own. When it was about lunch time I went to reach in my backpack for my lunch and found out I forgot it at home. I went and ran back(I lived relatively close) to my house and opened the door to get my lunch. As I went into my room to get my lunch I kept hearing weird noises coming from my dad's bedroom. I peeked in and saw my father forcing my little brother to suck his dick. My father saw me and chased after me, but I quickly closed the door behind me and ran as fast as I could. When I reached a gas station I quickly told the guy to call the police. My dad ran in the store, grabbed me by the shirt as tightly as he could and dragged me outside. The gas station employee however, demanded that my dad stay and wait for the cops to come. My dad then tried to run away when the police car came after him and arrested him. Ever since that day me and my little brother couldn't see each other the same. Even today I question whether or not I can trust another man after what my father did. But here's the weird thing... I think i'm gay. I'm not sure why, there's just something about the male body that just turns me on. One time when I was 13(and just discovered masturbation) I took a banana wrapped with a zip-lock bag and shoved it up my bum to see how it felt. It hurt at first... but I ended up liking it the more I did it. So i'm not really sure... I like guys but I can't trust them. I've never really been attracted to girls, there's just something about the vagina that disgusts me. But yeah... sorry for the long introduction.
No, don't sorry for the 5th intro. You're a newbie saying hi, nothing wrong with that. So hello! And I think I lost another faith in humanity from your story. How are you and your brother now? Do you two still live with your father? @_@
Hey, welcome to the site. I'm sorry about your experience with your father (*hug*). You sexual orientation is no a choice though, it is a part of you. I know that its difficult to get over these emotions you have about childhood experiences, but you shouldn't base your impression about men based soley on one person. If you would like you should try posting about this on support and advice. You'd probably be a lot more likely to get some feedback and help.
Hello and Welcome!! I'm sorry to hear about the experience with your father. I'm glad that he is now somewhere where he cannot hurt you.
Glad to know I am not the only one chuckling at the name. I hope your uncle wasn't bully as a kid for that name.
