Are there any LGBT Muslims on this forum? If so, how do you reconcile your faith and sexuality? How does your family feel about you being gay, if they know at all? How about Islamic society? Also, of anyone knows, what does Sufism say about homosexuality?
I'm not muslim myself so I can't answer any of your questions, but I have heard about a documentary that touches on the subject. I have never seen it so I'm a bit hesitant to recommend it, but since it does have very good reviews I think it might be worth a watch The documentary is called A Jihad for Love directed by Parvez Sharma. Not sure if you would have to buy it or if you can find it somewhere else, though.
Hey daffty.I am a muhannas,a lady boy.We used to be accepted and even were the guards at the two holy mosques(at Makkah and Medina).The Prophet (saw) knew of them and we were accepted as a third gender by Islamic scientists.The only rules were no being flirty and no sodomy.When the British colonised us they called us eunuchs(I'm not!)and made criminals then the Saudis took over Arabia and did the same.But Allah made me and Allah knows best!
every queer person would have a separate account of how they have reconciled. for me it has been by adhering to the Holy Quran. my family was initially very upset, over the years it seems like they subconsciously know that i am being honest to them. i have lost many Muslim friends by acknowledging to them i am not straight, at the same time i have Muslim friends who are accepting of me. i suppose it was for the best , since at the hour of greatest need, we find out who our true friends are. i do not believe in sufism, it has the potential to lead a person to commit shirk, which is unforgivable of any sins. Islam is sufficient as a religion and you can well-reconcile your faith with sexuality. if you would like to know the details as to what verses helped me reconcile in my case, i would be more than happy to share with you.
I'm muslim and bisexual so its difficult. i have really religious family who wear Hijabs and pray all 5 times without fail. They dont know and i feel thats prolly the reason why. ive heard what they say about gay people and they always say its because of the Qur'an. Telling them is going to be very difficult, but hopefully i'll be able to soon
Not gonna lie, i feel a little pissed off. I created a very similar thread an got one reply!!! But anyway, from my thread: I feel so lost, i don't know what to do. I was raised as a muslim but dont practice. The major thing thats stopping me form coming out are the fact that my parents are muslim. I wouldn't say its religion per-se that would mostly make it difficult, but mainly their background. My mum may eventually be fine with it, but my dad wont be (he once was very clear on his thoughts of gays). And once the extended family gets involved, then my mum would be under pressure. I love my family but i feel that coming out would ruin everything. I'm not particularly close to either parents but i just dont like the idea of the one causing so much problems. I also find myself. I also am now finding myself re-evaluating my own position on Islam. Not gonna lie, Islamd and homosexuality has surprisingly been plaguing my mind more so even though i never practiced.
What in particular bothers you regarding Islam and same-sex attraction would you clarify a bit? I suppose there is a clear distinction between using another human being to satisfy lust and being with another individual in a mutually respectful and loving relationship. Islam does not permit fornication, adultery, rape etc that are primarily indicative of gratification of sexual desires in an unlawful way. desire is to be confined within the boundaries of a marriage/ between mates/spouses. ---------- Post added 2nd Feb 2013 at 03:39 PM ---------- A primary concern for queer individuals is whether same-sex attraction is a choice. As far as love is concerned, most human beings do not have a choice as to which person their hearts feel love for and find rest. Ayah 30:21 refers to love between two human beings as ordained/created by Allah (SWT) himself. The Ayah is also specifying this love as love between 'mates', 'spouses', 'pair'. Which mate an individual feels love for, or which mate our souls find rested in is possibly beyond his/her control and created through Divine ordination, not by human choice. Furthermore, the Ayah is gender-neutral, and hence is all-inclusive of every person that has been created or will be created in future with regards to the person's mate: 30:21: And among His signs is that He has created for you, from your selves, mates, that you may incline towards them and find rest in them, and He has engendered love and tenderness between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. (Surah Ar-Rum/The Romans; Verse :21)
I come from a fairly religious family and I still consider myself a muslim. Although, its been difficult. I some times feel like I can't be both muslim and gay just because there is so much homophobia in the islamic community. I have a very conflicted relationship with my God because being a muslim lesbian I constantly feel like an anomaly. I know I can never be openly gay in the community for the fear of being chastised. I have a big extended family and im very close to all of them but I have never ever think of coming out to them because I know will lose them. They would all hate me.Although a few years back I came out to my mum and I was expecting the worst. but she has surprised me in every way. It has helped that I live in Toronto away from many of the extended family otherwise it would be hell. anyway, i m still struggling to find a perfect harmony between my seemingly antithetical identities. I just cant seem to find it in a space where my mere existence is an abomination. ---------- Post added 13th Feb 2013 at 11:25 PM ---------- You seem to have a clarity of mind that most struggle for their entire lives. =)
There was an article about it in one of our Norwegian Newspapers the other day. It was interesting to read about, how they had come to Norway, to be able to live their lives as openly LGBT muslims. One talked about how he was not welcome in their .. crap.. forgotten the word for it, muslim churces.. so anyways, he sat at home to read the Koran, but he said he felt that he was the way he was for a reason, and that it must be Gods. He had a boyfriend, who he met here in Norway. It was really interesting to read about, because in my city, LGBT people are very focused on the hostility we face from the area in Oslo which has a lot of muslims. Kind of like the American China Town area, this area has more immigrated muslims than native Norwegians. They threw rocks at the parade a couple of years ago. As a response, the people who arranged the parade decided to start the parade in that area, just to rub it in that LGBT people go where they please. However, it`s easy to forget the LGBT muslims face more crap from their fellow brethren than the rest of us. Other than what I read in the interview, I don`t know much about how it is for Muslim LGBTs. We finally got a couple to join the parade last year, though if I remember correctly they wore masks.
I am a gay muslim....it sucks....my parents know, but told me to not focus on my sexuality...and that if I will I should move away from them so that no one would know about me and in turn shame them with me. So disappear kinda thing. But ya they are kinda just hoping I'll choose to do nothing about it...or whatever... I don't know what I will do, it sure is a daily headache to wake up every morning and have to think what on earth was God thinking....but itsn't easy for me to walk on religion either for some reason I dont practice or pray...barely fast ramadan I guess. I think one day I will indeed just walk away and be gay I am so sick of being suppressed its like why live then, just shoot me in the head already. Edit: Oh how they feel, they keep insisting that something went wrong, and maybe I was molested and can't remember or whatever... All sects of Islam within the middle east at least do not approve homosexuality or cross dressing or any of that LGBT stuff, and always say how rediculous the west are for embracing this and they are lost souls to put it mildly, the only way around it is western Muslims, and the sects won't matter. But ya they all hate homosexuals guts enough to hang them and imprison them, which what the west used to do but they stopped, wer stil at that stage tho. I don't reconcile it, I think I will just 'sin' and hope god is merciful enough or whatever....I tried to be saint I just felt like killing my self....perceiving him as merciful enough to forgive anything is the delusion I think I am willing to live with....for now.
Have you told anyone? A friend or someone. It helps. I know that it helped me escape the feeling like your imprisoned in your own skin
Yes I have told soooo many friends.....they accept me but they kinda think im crazy for being so outspoken about it and feel again its something that god will 'reward me for' if I abstain from acting on it...which is bleh!, but ya it does feel great, but then we freaking moved for the ten thousands time to yet another different country....and I am now working and lost contact with most of those friends, and with working life no one gives a damn about what you are anyways, its only those childhood friends that you can have a decent relationship with.... So ya...friends do really help...but I don't have them anymore...and they are soo busy and distant...so I am left with the 'find someone to love' and maybe escape this whole mess...but honestly most gay guys don't want a relationship anyways they just want a hit and run, and asking for anything more sounds like some crime. Meh...we'll c...maybe ill move to California and do weed all day that sounds reasonable as well lol.
Me. I don't know.. I barely pray, I feel like I don't deserve to do it cause i think God hates me that i might be a gay.. but i feel guilty whenever i leave my pray, and sometimes i wonder will he forgive me if i don't walk in the 'straight' way.. My family would probably kill me if they know it haha my society is a hardcore homophobics lol
Queer and Muslim, how I have reconciled -------------------------------------------- Each queer individual would have a separate account of how they have reconciled sexuality with faith. for me it is only possible to state how i have come to find resolution for myself to accept the Holy Quran in its entirety, consider myself queer and consider myself Muslim. I have known that I am queer possibly from when I was 8. On a somewhat separate note, I have come to realize that Islam is the best religion for me. I am most comfortable with the religion of Islam and believe that the Quran was revealed to humankind from Allah (SWT) Himself. I consider myself Muslim, I prefer to die as a Muslim and I strive to understand and implement the Holy Quran in my thoughts, actions and everyday living. for me. It has been a great source of guidance, hope, reassurance, joy, warning, healing, learning, nourishment, refuge, protection, mercy, purification, assistance and strength. The longest struggle of my life has been reconciling sexuality with faith. this has been a long, drawn out journey. I have been brought down to my knees in helplessness, cried to Allah (SWT) in pain and despair for years and years, tried to pray away a circumstance that I wasn't able to get rid of myself, searched for answers from every possible means I could find, fervently requested Him to take me back to Him since I am unable to take a life according to His words in the Quran (Verse 5:32), and then finally, as I say this, there seems to be grace, and mercy, and self-acceptance, and light, a feeling of freshness, explanations, a feeling of love, peace, healing and resolution within. A primary concern for queer individuals is whether same-sex attraction is a choice. As far as love is concerned, most human beings do not have a choice as to which person their hearts feel love for and find rest in. Ayah 30:21 refers to love between two human beings as ordained/created by Allah (SWT) himself. The Ayah is also specifying this love as love between 'mates', 'spouses', 'pair'. Which mate an individual feels love for, or which mate our souls find rested in is possibly beyond his/her control and created through Divine ordination, not by human choice. Furthermore, the Ayah is gender-neutral, and hence is all-inclusive of every person that has been created or will be created in future with regards to the person's mate: 30:21: And among His signs is that He has created for you, from your selves, mates, that you may incline towards them and find rest in them, and He has engendered love and tenderness between you. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect. (Surah Ar-Rum/The Romans; Verse :21) It is not true that every human being is either a man or a woman. intersex individuals are created by Allah (SWT) at birth. imposition of strict gender concepts or gender roles, or assigning a specific gender is not being truthful to the individual's fitrah. For some intersex individuals, it is almost impossible to determine a specific gender that pertains to their biology (i.e. individuals with XXY chromosomes or other biological variations in sexuality). They are created equal as anyone else in the sight of Allah (SWT), they have the right to be with a mate in a loving relationship, and when we consider individuals of sexual minority, we are not able to disregard them who Allah (SWT) Himself has created and we are not able to define marriage as being strictly between a man and a woman, since we are depriving and excluding Allah (SWT)'s creation of sexual minorities by doing so. In a similar manner, LGBTQ individuals are sexual minorities who have physiological/emotional responses in a somewhat mixed gender manner (i.e. having the physiology of one gender and biological/emotional responses of another). We cannot disregard the fact that Allah (SWT) is able to create whatever He pleases with regards to the gender identity of an offspring: 42:49-50: Unto Allah belongs the Sovereignty of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He will. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills; (49) Or He mingles them, males and females, and He makes ineffectual whom He wills. Lo! He is Knower, Powerful. (50) (Surah Ash-Shurah/Consultation; Verses 49-50) Pressurizing a LGBTQ individual into a heterosexual marriage is not in accordance with Quranic instructions to be truthful. A fundamental and integral aspect of their being can not be concealed from themselves or from their prospective spouses for a lifetime. Deception is not a sign of a a believer, Muslims are urged to be honest and straightforward: 9:119: O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah, and be with the truthful. (Surah At-Tawba/The Repentance; Verse 119) 33:70: O you who believe! Guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point; (Surah Al-Ahzab/The Combined Forces; Verse 70) The Quran does not use any specific word for 'homosexuality' or same-sex act. Verses that refer to Prophet Lut (AWS)'s society are clear on the concept of 'practicing lust (7:80, 11:79)' in a lust-driven, non-loving and non-marital sense. In these Ayahs, there is no evidence of a mutually respectful and loving monogamous relationship that can occur between two queer individuals. The component of force/rape (demanding angels 'for an ill-purpose (54:37, 11:78)', in-hospitality (29:29), public sexual practices ('abomination in your gatherings (29:29)'), multiple sexual partners ('approach males (29:29, 7:80)') distinguish the wanton folk mentioned in these Ayahs from any two queer individuals who believe in Allah (SWT), are sexual minorities in their physiological/emotional responses and have a respectful, affectionate, loving and caring relationship between them. Prophet Lut (AWS)'s wife is referred to as his wife. Therefore it would not be permissible for her to be involved with any other person and make her eligible 'to stay behind (66:10, 7:84, 37:135)'. Verses 4:15 and 4:16 calls for punitive measures for people of any gender provided the sexual practice was not lawful. The first Verse (4:15) is inclusive of all women in general who are engaged in unlawful lustful practice with another person. The Verse does not specify two women. The Surah itself is Surah An-Nisa: Women, and it is well within context to refer to women in the first Verse to initiate the topic of unlawful sexual practices. The second Verse (4:16) covers any two individuals (includes adultery/fornication between a man and a woman as well), and therefore, these verses are referring to unlawful sexual act, not same-sex act per se. The Verses further go on to indicate that public display of erotic behavior is unlawful and indecent since four witnesses are required to be present. Desiring a person outside of marriage is a transgression according to the following Ayah (23:7). Queer individuals forced into a heterosexual marriages while entertaining sexual thoughts according to their natural inclinations cannot remain true to themselves and furthermore commit a transgression. 23:6-7: Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed (6). But whoso desires beyond that, such are transgressors (Surah Al-Mumenoon/The Believers; Verse 6-7) A purpose of marriage is to find love and mercy between the wedded pair. If two queer individuals find love and mercy within them and are enjoined in marriage that is mutually respectful and loving, they are not engaged in any adulterous act outside the sanctity of their marriage, then they should be united so. Not all pairs created are exclusively heterosexual and created with the sole purpose to multiply. Allah (SWT) is well able to create pairs that are able to contribute to promoting life on earth in ways that we know not. 36:36: Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth groweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not! (Surah Ya-Seen; Verse 36) Sexuality is not a choice. The following Ayah suggests that a woman does not need to wear a hijaab in the presence of a male attendant without vigor. Allah (swt) has created males lacking sexual interest for a woman, a common attribute of a gay male. If hijaab is not necessary, then a male without vigor has an existing biological condition and is unable to direct sexual thoughts towards a woman. 24:31: And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed. (Surah Al-Noor/The Light; Verse 31) Research suggests that sexuality, gender identity is often determined in pre-natal stages and influenced by the androgens that the fetus is exposed to. As Muslims, we ought to make an effort to accept and accommodate each individual the way they have been created: 3:6: He it is Who fashioneth you in the wombs as pleaseth Him. There is no God save Him, the Almighty, the Wise. (Surah Al-Imraan/The Family of Imran; Verse 6) A Muslim's duty is towards Allah (SWT) first and foremost. Being truthful to the self and to others is fundamental in Islam, and advocating or forcing queer individuals to live a lie becomes contradictory to the principles of faith: 33:35: Lo! men who surrender unto Allah, and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere (in righteousness) and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble, and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard (their modesty), and men who remember Allah much and women who remember ‐ Allah hath prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward. (Surah Al-Ahzab/The Combined Forces; Verse 35) Queer Muslims who are devoted believers in Allah (SWT), try their best to contribute to the benefit humanity, are attentive to their obligatory practices and inner purification: if they have found love in a kindred soul, it is not for anyone else but Allah (SWT) to decide or judge with regards to their private lives or to deny them the right to love another. Allah (SWT) is responsible for appointing love as He sees fit. 19:96: Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds - the Most Merciful will appoint for them love. (Surah Maryam/Mary; Verse 96) A marriage is a lawful channel of human desires being met; however it is much more about forming a loving, happy, committed and caring bond between two individuals. Every individual has the fundamental right to love, form a family with a kindred spirit and be able to acknowledge that their hearts feel moved by another. Islam advocates abstinence and chastity for single Muslims and prohibits unlawful sexual practices of adultery, fornication, rape or public erotic behavior for anyone, be they heterosexual or non-heterosexual in nature. As far as unlawful sexual practices are concerned, satisfying desire/lust with any person with whom there is no loving, committed boundaries of a marriage is considered unlawful. As long as any two individuals are able to restrict their sexual responses within the boundaries of a mutually loving, respectful, and nurturing marriage that allows for honest expression of their true selves, they are able to reconcile their Islamic faith with their sexuality. In this regard, it is wise to remember that this discussion pertains to LGBTQ minorities, this does not concern heterosexual marriages. Just as Allah (SWT)'s guidelines for orphans need not affect those who are raised with parents, partnerships between believing queer individuals need not affect or be affected by what is valid for the vast majority of believing heterosexual couples. A marriage can comprise of a variety of dynamics. Not all marriages need be the same in terms of reproduction, gender, and sexual activity. 16:88: Strain not thine eyes toward that which We cause some wedded pairs among them to enjoy, and be not grieved on their account, and lower thy wing (in tenderness) for the believers. (Surah An-Nahl/Thee Bee; Verse 88) Love is a Divine attribute, Allah (SWT) has breathed of His spirit into every human soul and He is the Ever-Loving. We as Muslims should be aware that it is a basic human right to love another, queer individuals should not be deprived of their right to love in accordance to their inherent nature. In addition, no person (whether straight or gay) should ever be made to feel they are not loved by Allah (SWT) Himself. 32:9: Then He fashioned him and breathed into him of His Spirit; and appointed for you hearing and sight and hearts. Small thanks give ye! (Surah Ash-Sajda/Prostration; Verse 9) 85:14: And He is the Oft-Forgiving, The Most Loving One. (Surah Al-Buruj/The Great Stars; Verse 14)
----------------------------------------------------------------------- P.S: Typos in numerical references: 7:81 in place of 7:80 7:83 in place of 7:84 20:131 (Surah Ta-Ha: Verse 131) in place of 16:88 (Surah An-Nahl/The Bee; Verse 88)
assalamualaikum i thought I and Nevashiva were the only LGBT Muslims on here but it's good to know theres others, from what i have been taught and this may differ since I was raised as a Safi'i muslim (and i know there's different schools of Sunni and Shi'a Islam) is that Allah is the all forgiving and all knowing and that when you are born Allah writes out you're path that's what my uncle taught me (Shiekh Abdulbary Yahya) i see it as Allah knew i was going to be gay and Allah still loves me as i am for Allah has unconditional love, i don't listen to all the homophobic things they claim the nabi's said.
I was born a muslim, fell in love in college with the most wonderful woman and broke it off with her because I thought homosexuality was a sin. Now I'm in grad school, and I've all but rejected Islam as a religion. Which has made it that much easier to come to terms with my feelings for my best friend which are complicated even without worrying about religion. So I don't. Try to reconcile Islam and my bisexuality, I mean.
I'm a transmale Muslim and its been hard for me to separate my sexuality and my religion but I have manage to reconcile within myself that I am male and pray as a male. I trust Allah knows me inside and understands me personally. My family knows that I'm trans, but I was brought up in a Christian and they don't know that I've reverted to Islam, which is interesting at times.
Not a Muslim, (but had several Muslim friends from various countries in college) and don't know if this has come up here before, but... I've recently come across mentions here and there that there are some LGBT-friendly mosques popping up here and there around the world. They also allow women to lead Friday prayers. Currently these institutions are keeping a very low profile and are causing controversy in the wider Islamic community, but are also finding a lot of interest and support being expressed via email and such among Muslims and ex-Muslims. Do a google on 'gay friendly mosque' and various articles pop-up. Hope this helps, Todd
Ppl are ignorant ,god made you different for a reason hiya im Muslim and welcome I'm still questioning ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2013 at 01:23 PM ---------- The story of lot had to do with rape ,not homosexuals ,and greed scholars can even confirm that. And Hadith are fabricated .how can the nabi a kind person be homophobic ? He wasn't . It's the stupid ppl in the middle ages who said its wrong and it followed and still following . Ppl don't listen to the book anymore ,they listen to others rather than seek counselor from god himself . its just homophobes that piss me off. Everytime I hear homophobe harming someone bc of who they are. It pisses me off .
