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I'm in love with another boy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by James123456, Aug 30, 2012.

?

Do you think he loves me back?

  1. Yes

    22 vote(s)
    57.9%

  2. No

    16 vote(s)
    42.1%
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  1. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    So I went to get my new textbooks tday with friends and we hardly talked my crush and I. One thing he said caught my attention: he said he was dying to take a class he knew I was taking. Plus we did not look at each other very much, I mainly talked to other friends. I hope he loves me and was too shy to talk to me, I know I was.
     
    #21 James123456, Sep 3, 2012
  2. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Come out to him. It is THE ONLY WAY.

    Seriously.
     
    #22 Ianthe, Sep 3, 2012
  3. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    I can hardly look at him in the eye, I'm not ready yet.
     
    #23 James123456, Sep 3, 2012
  4. Flying Squirrel

    Flying Squirrel
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    Alrighty... you are not putting yourself in a healthy situation, so something has to change. Maybe you need to evaluate yourself a little instead of evaluating him. Are you ready for a relationship? Even in the best case scenario, where you two start dating, would it be healthy to have a "secret" relationship? If you can't even look him in the eye...

    If you are ready, then its time to come out to him (just come out though... don't tell him of your crushing feelings yet). Then the ball is in his field and he can decide if he wants to come out to you (if he is gay).

    If you are not ready, then realizing that no dating relationship will come of this friendship is the first step on the way to getting over this crush.

    But please do something... its not good for you to put yourself through this pain while sitting on the fence. Good luck!
     
    #24 Flying Squirrel, Sep 3, 2012
  5. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    I know that's why I' m feeling terrible. But do you really think a relationship cant come out of this friendship, I mean he does not behave the same way with me than he does with other friends, that could mean we re not friends at all but he invited me over and had a deep eye contact once (btw I cant look at him in the eye right now because I havent seen him in a long time) but usually I cant look at him in the eye without smiling.
     
    #25 James123456, Sep 3, 2012
  6. BornAnew

    BornAnew
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    I'm no expert but from you said about what he was saying to a friend if he is gay then he himself is deep in the closet (most probably) & might be struggling to accept it. You just don't know how hard it might be for him to accept that he's gay. In that case having a relationship with a guy who is struggling to accept himself could turn out not so great (I've heard that many times).

    But of course you won't know any of this until you come out to him or something happens that gives you more proof on his orientation.

    Either way I really hope this works out for you :slight_smile:
     
    #26 BornAnew, Sep 4, 2012
  7. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    Thanks BornAnew cuz i m really deeply in love with him
     
    #27 James123456, Sep 6, 2012
  8. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    I read about a guy on a gay forum who told his best friend he liked him and the friend has never talked to him since then
     
    #28 James123456, Sep 11, 2012
  9. ForceAndVerve

    ForceAndVerve
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    Well that's an exterme exmaple. But put yourself in the other person's shoes...what if they arn't attracted to you? Or are gay? Not only have you just come out to them, you're also telling them that your attracted to them. It can be information overdrive and they can overreact.

    Have you at least told him your gay? You should start there and take it slow.
     
    #29 ForceAndVerve, Sep 11, 2012
  10. AloneOutHere

    AloneOutHere
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    Bro lemme let you in on a secret. Us LGBT people are the best at hiding stuff and keepinf secrets. You had feelings for him before summer and they've been with you since, but you've been hiding them. He could be doing the EXACT same thing. Just go for it. You want that relationship to be more so do something about it. If you've ever seen "We Bought A Zoo" then you'll know and understand this quote: ten seconds of courage is all it takes to do something great and change your life forever. Ten seconds of courage.

    ---------- Post added 11th Sep 2012 at 03:24 PM ----------

    BTW, Screw the votes and the poll. Don't let other people decide for you. Only you know what you want. And only you know how bad you want it.
     
    #30 AloneOutHere, Sep 11, 2012
  11. TheGreyMan

    TheGreyMan
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    It's not the case for everyone.

    I told someone that. He didn't feel the same, but our friendship only got stronger.

    There isn't some set reaction to unrequited gay feelings that's set in stone. It's different for everyone.
     
    #31 TheGreyMan, Sep 11, 2012
  12. TalkDTalk

    TalkDTalk
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    Hello James,
    and welcome to EC.
    I have taken time out to read all your posts and that of other posters.
    And it is quite surprising that you are goin thru the exact thing I am currently goin thru now.
    Yur analysis on how shy u ar to tallk to him and all that, truly baffles me,because I am exactly in the 'same shoes' with you at the present moment.
    My major advice to you is to be very very very careful, in taking your decision.....especially if you really want to come out.
    The reason is that it may bacfire or not.
    I have a whole thread on what evetually happened with my coming out to a crush.
    I will send you the thread name in my next post,so you can read everything there.
    Pls pls be very careful if u are coming out.
    I hope it doesnt backfire like mine did.

    TalkDTalk
     
    #32 TalkDTalk, Sep 11, 2012
  13. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    thanks a lot u guys for taking the time to read my thread, for advice and thanks for the link ure gonna send me TalkDTalk.:slight_smile:

    I dont know what to do at all: he's like the most important person in my life and all. even if he doesnt love me back i dont want him to ignore me all the time.

    Just a question to TalkDTalk, how old are u cuz boys dont react the same when they're in their 20's than when they're 17
     
    #33 James123456, Sep 11, 2012
  14. Lacuna

    Lacuna
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    This happened to me. Twice. You think I would have learned the first time. :dry: I don't think you should tell him you have a crush on him, but I would probably come out to him if you haven't already and observe his reaction.
     
    #34 Lacuna, Sep 12, 2012
  15. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    His parents are very conservative so is he i guess cuz he says very conservative things sometimes but once in a while he seems like a liberal.

    So i have no idea what he thinks bout gays.
     
    #35 James123456, Sep 12, 2012
  16. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    hey, so he called me on the phone to get some help in calculus and since then we've been doing our homework on the phone together, so is there hope he likes me back or not?
     
    #36 James123456, Sep 23, 2012
  17. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    Ok it had been a long time I havent logged in but I spent some really good times with my crush: we study over the phone almost everyday for sometime 3 hours!
    He stood up for me twice! He tells me sweet stuff and he kinda flirts in class with me.
    So i decided to come out to him, well i kinda told him i loved him over the phone right before hanging up.
    For the rest of the evening his phone was off and i only received a text from him the next morning where he was asking why i had called his cell.
    I'm going to his house on friday to study with the hope he'll make a move.
     
    #37 James123456, Oct 29, 2012
  18. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    So you're too chicken to come out to him, but you're hoping that he'll make a move on you? Because that's fair, right? I mean, you care so much about him that you aren't willing to put yourself on the line. That sure does sound like "love" to me".
     
    #38 BudderMC, Oct 29, 2012
  19. James123456

    James123456 Guest

    So this week was special: I went to his house like 4 times to study. Everytime he walked me to my car parked a couple blocks away, it felt like when we were studying for finals.

    Anyway the last time I saw him was very special, we were studying biology on his textbook (didnt have mine) and we were sitting on his couch (living room) and as I couldnt see much of the textbook I leaned in his direction, placing my head in my hand situated right against his arm, i was kinda laying down so my head was almost on his chest!!!!!!!
    Later when we went to play COD he placed the chairs (one for him and one for me) right next to each other and kinda foot flirted (dunno if intentional)

    So what do you all think? Should I pursue him, well I dont really have a choice cuz I see him everyday and I've tried many times to forget about him.
     
    #39 James123456, Nov 9, 2012
  20. Zacf216

    Zacf216
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    So what happened between you and your friend?? I know this is an old thread. But now that Iv read it I'm dying to know what happened?
     
    #40 Zacf216, Jun 15, 2014
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