my story-age 42 Since I was about 13 I noticed I started becoming interested in men.At 16 I would look at all the guys in the shower in gym class and pick my favorite bodies mentally.Through high school I would sometimes be called a faggot (mostly by the rednecks)because I never had a date with any of the girls.At one point I was over at a friends house & he wanted to play basketball and I wanted to go home,so he said 'you either have to touch my dick or play basketball'.Guess which one i chose? I was at a party one time with some friends(guys and girls) and the girls went home late and then one of my friends pulled out his cock in front of me and shook it and then put it back in his pants(he was really hot too but straight). The next day I find out in class that people said I sucked his cock.That began the whole process of being called a faggot,homo,etc. And I was still friends with him after that,I don't know why..probably cause he shared his weed. Through the years I have been in relationships with women and still thinking bout men.And watching lots of gay porn. Fast forward to 2002 where I met my wife on the internet in a chatroom.I told her I was bi and she was into bi guys.Well cool! We were connected . At start of 2007 we broke up over money issues. New Year's Eve 2009 I was in a bar with friends and two minutes till midnight she walked over to the table to say hi to a guy she knew and saw me.We talked a lil then said everything was forgiven and started to see each other again with a lot of hard learned lessons that came from being apart for couple years. We were still bf/gf up till I married her in 2010. This past month(july/august)I couldn’t take lying to myself anymore or anyone else. I told her we needed to talk.I cried and cried and finally said it….’I can’t hide anymore…I’m gay.’ She was pretty shocked but not really surprised.She went to talk to a friend for bout 3 hours while I cried outside wondering what I did to my life.She came home and said it was ok. She also has a 20 year old gay son that came down couple days from Kansas after I told her to see how she was doing.I had joined a gay site a couple weeks before I told her just to see what type guys were out there.Well, her son is a member of the same site and decided to check out the scene in Santa Fe and guess who he found on the 1st page? Didn’t go so well.. After long talks and lot of crying she has pretty much accepted the fact that I’m gay and is actually excited for me and my new life.She has always said that she just wants me to be happy even if I can’t be with her. She is pretty awesome like that. I’m moving out soon but will still visit each week with her and my stepson(10 years old) Also told my parents and at first they seemed cool with it but they started saying I should ask God for help and reading the bible…like it’s a phase I’m goin through… I have a brother and sister both 10 years older than me and they don’t know yet either..my sister would probably be cool but my brother is racist and homophobic so don’t think it would set too well with him. I know I’m gay but how do you explain to people that you just KNOW?They don’t seem to get it …like how do you know you’re straight? Anyway this is still a continuing process and I’m happy to have found this forum…I’ll keep updates as time goes on….thanks- dave
I liked your story very much Dave! I've been going through something similar just having told my wife of 15years that I'm gay just a few months ago. She accepted right away that I was gay and born that way, though. I'm sorry you're not quite having the reception you hoped for ... things will get amazingly better inside yourself now though. Look forward to that! Keep on posting in EC, there're some amazing people in here and the support is unparalleled. and I'm always available if you need to dump emotionally. Congrats on your big step!!
Welcome to EC, featherpaint! I don't think it's an accident you found this site! You'll be amazed at the support and advice you'll receive here! I came out to my wife of 35 years late last year and am now starting to live the life I should have started long, long ago! What I'm going to suggest you do to begin with is read the threads and posts of some others in your situation, or at least similar. Besides PianoNate and me, I would suggest reading threads of Tracker57, Maxx, JimL, NomadicDave, KneeDragger, and Tom100, among others. In our threads you'll see posts by others who have helped us in our struggles and form a tight-knit group. We're at different places in similar journeys, so you may get a glimpse at your possible near and distant future. You'll probably hear from some of them down the line because we let each other know when we have a new brother come on board. I hope we can help you through whatever comes next! (&&&) 55
Hi Featherpaint, Welcome to EC. I'm in quite the same boat as you. I have been married for 23 years. I also knew I was gay as a teenager. I came out to my wife, family and friends a little over a year ago. I guess I'm a little surprised at the question from others of "how do you know your gay." Well how do you know your left handed....it just is. All I can say is be confident when you are coming out to someone. If you are timid and don't make eye contact maybe they will read that as questioning....instead of "I am gay!" And I have know this since I was a teen and just lived my life like society said that I should. It's just what we felt we had to do! Hide that is. Let's face it, times have changed and all of us older guys coming out late in life were influenced by society and our religious upbringing. That's not to say it easy to come out now even for the younger generation. It will always be difficult, because we are special, and yes you were born this way. Let us know how you are doing. Hugs for you.
oooo ... maybe we late-bloomers could have our own Pride float??? we could cover it with wrinkly rosebud blooms ... get it? geriatric late bloomers?? rofl :roflmao:
Haha??????? Sorry dude but I don't find this funny. Your only as old as you want to be. I still feel quite young. My grandma once told me that she surrounds herself with young people because it makes her feel young.........I will live her life!
thank you guys!! it's goin good so far and i''ll look at some of the other threads...it helps so much to have people in your corner in similar situations!
Hi Featherpaint - and Welcome! I think you'll find the community here extremely supportive. Sounds like you are well on your way - let us know how we can help from here. (*hug*) Maxx
Awsome story and i enjoyed reading it! Its cool that you have such an accepting wife and shes cool with it. Better late than never i guess haha. Well i hope you have a fantastic 'new' life living a little more 'open' and get to enjoy it to the fullest. Best of luck!
