Please help i feel so empty inside

This sounds like what happens to me sometimes. I'm not sure if it is the same, mind you, so I'm not sure if the advice I am about to give will work for you. Also, I fully realize that what follows probably sounds really, really strange.

For me, this happens when I have just too many things to think about. Whether it be problems, projects, things that have captured my interest, it doesn't matter. When I have so many thoughts running through my brain, it is like they all try to exit out of the same door all at once and cause themselves to get stuck. Then my brain goes into "bleh" mode, where instead of trying to focus on all of the things in my mind, I end up just sitting there like a mental lump on a log. I become unfocused and unproductive.

My solution? Thinking. Lots and lots of thinking.

When my brain is bogged down, it requires a manual look-over. I need to sort out every piece of information floating through my brain and prioritize it. Some thoughts get finished and put away, some get put aside for a more appropriate time, and others get filed away never to be seen again. It is really a matter of taking my time and examining my thoughts and figuring out why they are there. This is when I find the solutions to a lot of the problems that have been weighing on my mind, and when I discover the existence of a lot of the issues I didn't even realize that I had. You just gotta delve into the depths of your mind, and don't come back until the job is done. Which can take much longer than you might expect sometimes.

Anyway, that is the end of my crazy abstract explanation. I hope it helped in some way. Good luck!

 

I really think you should talk to one of your close friends and explain it to him. Maybe he/she can help you because they know you better than us. You should get out more and don't have just hollow sex. Try to build a strong friendship with your friends, met new people not just for sex, for friends.

Try to do some of the things that you enjoy the most. Try to occupy your free time.

I really don't know how to help you but when I'm feeling that way I frequently I try to talk more with my friends and be around them more, just to keep my head clear and to smile a bit, because that's what they do to me.

I hope this will help with and i wish you the best luck ever. Don't ever lose your strength. and many many (*hug*)

 

I have a suspicion that you could be depressed without knowing it. The bit about where you feel empty and don't want to do anything is one of the symptoms but I'm not really sure. Are you struggling with being gay? Is there anything that has been bothering you lately?

 

I would suggest, first of all, not having sex with random men anymore - you're seeking something that you're obviously not getting from it, so I would put that on hold for now. I'm not saying you can never have a one night stand again if you want, I'm just saying wait until you figure out what is really bothering you - because no matter how you slice it, adding a bunch of sexual partners will not simplify the situation.

Secondly, what is your out status to your family and friends? Your profile here says "hard to explain," but can you elaborate on that a little bit? Do they know you're gay? Do they merely suspect? Do you talk about it, in any case, with anyone? I agree with Aniot that you should probably talk to someone about how you're feeling, and about being gay (assuming you haven't already). Even if it's a friend that doesn't live close by anymore - the one friend you mentioned obviously cares that something is going on with you. He might be really sympathetic. And if you're feeling "cut off" and isolated, then sharing a part of yourself might go a long way towards helping that. Someone has to start the process, and unless you like feeling this way, it might as well be you.

I know it feels really hopeless - I've been in places like this myself before. But I promise, the more you start sharing of yourself, the more people will come back to you. It's highly likely that many of them *want* to help you - they just don't know how.

 

I had a break-down 4 years ago, brought on by unbearable stress at work. I was frightened because I didn't recognize myself any more.

I'd had a lot of bad experiences in my life, but I'd always been able to manage, to survive. When I reached my low point, I just wasn't able to do it any more. I felt helpless, and therefore frightened. I stayed in bed for days on end with the curtains closed and ear-plugs in to shut out the sounds. When friends called, I just wouldn't speak to them.

I recognize the emptiness you describe and, you may not be happy to hear it, but I think you are suffering from depression.

There are all sorts of depression and your doctor can refer you to people who will assess what kind of depression you have and then what the best course of treatment would be.

I had a series of sessions with a therapist, I changed my job and I rebalanced my life between my work and what I enjoyed doing before I was ill.

I know you can do something about it and you have already started, actually, in that you know there is something wrong, and you are not happy about it, you want to do something about it to get your old self back.

I achieved recovery from severe depression which had me at home for 7 months unable to work with a combination of the therapy and medication, which I still take.

I have no problem with that because I am back and even better than I had been for years.

My advice would be to sit down quietly and make a list of what you think is different from before:

For example:

I can't get to sleep
Once I wake up, it's hard to get back to sleep
I feel very groggy in the morning
I don't laugh any more
I feel lethargic
I don't want to meet people or do things I used to do

etc

and then make a list of what you want back in your life:

I want to laugh
I want my energy back

You don't need to come up with reasons WHY you think you're not functioning as you did, just knowing there is a difference is enough to approach your doctor and explain your feelings. You can ask for a referral for counselling - most insurers cover the cost as depression can become serious if it's not treated. If you're not covered, some therapists do pro bono work - ask.

Contact me on my wall if you want to talk more - just don't think your situation is hopeless and that you are the only one - there are lots of us out there.(&&&)

 

Your being gay might not be the cause of your depression. As I said, there are all sorts of depression, including depressions brought on by imbalances in your body - there does not have to be a clear "cause" for you to be depressed.

I know you want to get better - you have to rule out the possibility of it being clinical depression.

For instance, I was diagnosed with a severely under-active thyroid gland. I read a lot about it, and some of the symptoms for that sound incredibly like depression symptoms.

Now I'm taking SSSI drugs AND Thyroxin and I feel loads better - I don't know if it's the anti-depressants or the thyroid hormone therapy, but I've never been so happy and I don't care which it is!

Sitting suffering in silence will not fill the hole. You have to take control and do something about it. Start with the doctor.(*hug*)