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Dating: he likes, he likes me not

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by toremi, Jul 30, 2012.

  1. toremi

    toremi Guest

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    This is the predicament I always find myself in, even prior to it being gay "relations" back when it was still straight "relations". I am sure others can relate to this as well.

    So recently I downloaded a specific app, yes that app. I had never had it before and wanted to see what it was about. Anyway I had no intentions of keeping it or even meeong anyone from it -- it was more of just a chat experiment. Anyway LSS, I ended up getting several message, some creepy, some indifferent , some boring and a couple interesting.

    Of the messages there were two guys who were interesting/ I found attractive. So we chatted a bit on there got to know each other (without the stats and nude pic convos), ended up exchanging numbers and then even planning to meet.

    So essentially I ended up with two actual dates within a short period of time. Here comes the issue. I had high hopes for guy #1 and moderate hopes for guy #2. so I meet guy number one and he is great just as I suspected. We had a good date and got along fine. After it was finished he wanted to come back to my place for a bit so I obliged and then we chatted a little further and ended up fooling around a bit. He was cute and nice and fun but nothing really clicked. Since then he has beenessaging about getting back together again and hanging out. I don't want to lead him on, and since I am unsure I have avoided for now.

    K, guy numero deux. Didn't have as high expectations, met him and initially I didn't even fond him as cute as his pics. We went for our dinner and drinks and ended up talking alot and really connecting. So when the date was over we both wanted to hang longer, we walked, talked, sat in a park. It was getting late and I was suppose to meet friends but we didn't want it to end yet so I brought him along. We had fun and ended up stayin out till 3am together. We parted ways but kept texting and since neither one of us were tired we decided to hang even longer so he came over (he lives nearby). We had more good convo and did minor fooling around and then e stayed until 8am when he had to leave for church.

    Here is my dilemma. I ended up like guy 2 way moe than I expected, guy 1 not so much. But such is life, it seems guy 1 is reeaaally into me and guy 2 not as much! Does this happen to anyone else? If so what would your advice be. Should I give guy 1 more of a chance to find attraction or should i try and win over guy 2. I know I don't need to pick either but it always seems to be this scenario so I am wondering what everyone else does?
     
  2. stumble along

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    I would go with what you want most, guy two, butmaybe try and give guy one a second chance and see if you like him too
     
  3. toremi

    toremi Guest

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    I know it's weird right. Like I want guy 2 to give me a second chance as a potential love candidate but by my own standard shouldn't I give guy 1 the same chance. Its so weird, it's another one of those want what you can't have things probably. I hate the human psyche --

    But like you said I have more interest in guy 2 so I should probably attempt at pursuing it , without coming off as a stage 5 clinger. I always feel like there is some sort of game to be played and I never know how to play it.
     
  4. oneday

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    Follow your heart and look for signs. If you didn't feel any chemistry with guy # 1, don't continue going out with him...or else you may end up wasting time looking for something to click with him, when really, there wasn't anything there in the first place. If you're unsure about him, then consider giving him another chance. However, from your initial post, it sounds like you had your mind made up about him already after the first date. If that's the case, then I wouldn't lead him on.

    As for guy # 2, the fact that he took you out with his friends and you stayed out with him until 3 AM tells me that he is into you. I could be wrong, but that's the way I see it. A guy introducing you to his friends is a good sign.

    Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  5. jake48

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    I would say go with guy number 1 and give him another chance because it's someone who is actually into and you said guy 1 is more into then guy 2 so go with the person where there might be something that can actually turn into a great thing.

    good luck
     
  6. Bobbgooduk

    Bobbgooduk Guest

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    The click is important. What did your friends think of him?

    Guy #1 is not asking you to marry him - why not give it one more date, perhaps introduce HIM to your friends - how does he react?

    Two dates do not constitute a life-long commitment. You can still say to #1 that you don't think it's going anywhere soon after a date or two.

    I met my partner through a dating agency. I met him and liked him, but a met a few others in between dates with him until we both decided to put our membership of the agency on hold and just see each other. That was nearly 14 years ago and we're still together.

    Get to know both a little better before you kick one to the kerb!