For Gays/Lesbians ONLY

1) I always knew I was gay. I knew I liked girls since I was 5, I swear. But I would look at guys and think that they're good looking, but only because I was jealous and wish I could be a good-looking straight guy so I could be with girls without the hurdles of being gay. I always thought guys were douches bags though for the most part.

2) I was asked out by a guy who told me he liked me, but I said no...so never dated.

3) Some gay people marry the opposite sex because they don't realize they're gay yet, they don't want to admit they're gay, they're hiding the fact that they're gay, or they weren't in a situation where it would be safe or comfortable for them to be out. It's just easier to pretend to be straight and avoid all the problems.

 

Meh-l guess even around 9 or 10 l knew l wouldn't be straight, but l don''t know how. l wasn't really tomboyish so it's not like l was confusing my gender identity for being gay. Girls were just special to me somehow, l had a few male friends then but never wanted to gossip or talk about them the way even young girls do.

Like living someone else's life-Dating the opposite sex for me was like dating my best friend, because l did. And if l were straight it would have been ideal. *shrug* l can''t elaborate much, l was never repelled by men.

l even enjoyed the sex, and very specifically just the sex. l did not/do not like kissing. It is more personal for me and requires something l can't fake with a person l'm not attracted to.

That whole "being accepted as a valuable member of society and/or desiring not to be a victim of institutionalized discrimination thing"-And some may be just experimenting, or really trying to make it work. Religion may also play a role as well as the desire to have children (the easy way).

 

1) I knew I was gay when I was really young, so I never really had a view of the opposite sex in the first place. All I knew was that I wasn't really attracted to them in the way that I was attracted to guys.

2) It was weird. I felt like I was lying myself and lying to my girlfriend. I did it to try and convince other and MYSELF even that I was actually straight (obviously I wasn't!)

3) Some do it to try and convince themselves that they actually are straight. Others do it in an attempt to hide their sexuality from the people around them.

 

Believe it or not, I had the same kind of experiences. Back when I accepted I was female on the inside, I tried my hardest to be straight. I didn't want to be both trans and gay. This may be a bit confusing to some people, but I didn't see me with men as being homosexual, despite being male-bodied. I desperately wished to be straight. I prayed for it even, back when I was Christian.

I dated a few guys in high school, but it never really worked. Didn't help that I dated guys who identified as straight. I confused them because I didn't feel like a guy to them. Hmm... I wonder why? I didn't get good examples for boyfriends, but I was partially to blame. I was never honestly interested in them. I wanted them for the normalcy they brought me, not because I cared for them or how they treated me.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I finally accepted that I was a lesbian. It was immensely difficult to admit to myself. Accepting that I was a girl was really easy in comparison.

I don't have any problem with men. Many of my friends are male. I don't think of them in a negative light or a positive one. They're just people. Some of them are cool and others suck, just like women. I am capable of being emotionally attracted to some men, but I avoid it because I'm not sexually attracted to them. Sometimes gay people marry the opposite sex because they found an exception, maybe they're biromantic, or maybe they just can't bring themselves to come out of the closet. Not sure.

 

Before I knew I was gay, I was never really into the opposite sex. I didn't find girls all that attractive; one event I remember was watching the release of Robbie Williams Rock DJ video. I was around 6, I think, the first time I watched it, and I remember being attracted by shirtless Robbie, and not the chicks.

I went out with a close friend of mine, who was a girl. It was only for a few days, though. I remember thinking "hooray, this means I'm straight!" (It was during a time when I went through denial of my sexuality. It was a love-less few days, looking back on it now. My friends said afterwards 'oh we thought you were gay, but you went out with *girl* so you must be straight'. :L If anything, it made me more gay.

I think it's because they don't want to confront their sexuality. They choose to live a fake life, rather than what they perceive will be a hated life.

 

me too,

it was just common sense that guys married girls though, my view on the opposite sex hasnt changed though, I see equal oppotunity for all because thats what I was taught, and I would never disrespect the women who brought me up.

Never dated, there were opportunities but that was something I wasnt going to do, even when I was in denial I didnt see dating women as an option, just didnt seem right even if others think its just for experimentation.

and the last question is an obvious one.

To belong, to be 'normal', no one wants to be the gay kid

 

I never realised I was gay until in my mid 20's. I never actually dated the opposite sex, I couldnt work out what the fuss was all about, but I never disliked the opposite sex either, like I didnt find the thought of them repulsive.

 

Opposite sex, well that was a confusing one. I never used to feel anything at all for the opposite sex until i was in sernior school and i suddenly noticed that all the girls were having in depth discussions about boys/celebrities and i was expected to do the same! I used to desperately search for one attractive feature, usually it would be eyes or some such, never butt or chest or well anything everyone else seemed to be drooling over. I couldnt understand men at all either, i found them frustrating to deal with.

Dating the opposite sex - did plenty of that. What is was like... well disappointing mostly. I never really connected with any of the guys, on any level, it was more like i wanted to help them out (from being lonely) i wanted to be there for them and i didnt want to be there for them at the same time. Sexually well that would overall come out as a 'meh' or 'ok' i could count all the times it got near good on one hand and thats after 10 years of dating >< I used to psych myself up for several months to even consider doing something like a blowjob and even then i would baulk when faced with the situation. So i ended up constantly scolding myself for not being more normal. I also found as time went on that i disliked affectionate gestures from men, i didnt want to be held, or hold hands or cuddle. I couldnt figure out why this was going on though, i just presumed it was how everybody felt, though i did know something wasn't quite right.

Why marriage - well some people are in denial, some denial can run deep enough that you dont even realise your in denial. Some people just dont realise that what they feel (in a straight relationship) isnt 'normal' 'right' - pick whichever word you like. If you dont happen across someone of the same sex to crush on and everyone else is chasing the opposite sex than most people would just follow along. Well i did anyhow :eusa_doh:

Was any of that any help?

*edit* Oh its also worth noting that i only started dating guys because i was bullied a lot at school and was terrorfied of people finding something else to humiliate me for, i didnt want to be left on the shelf (so to speak)

 

I didn't acknowledge that I was gay until I was in my mid 30s. Growing up I didn't seem to have the same 'drive' to date girls that the other guys did, but I always assumed that I would get married and have kids. So eventually I did. I was married for 9 years and had two little girls.

But more and more I was attracted to other men. I had started to use gay porn. And the more that this entered my consciousness, the more unhappy I became.

I had a couple of crushes on girls and dated a little bit in my teens and early 20s. It was primarily social conditioning that had me do that I think.

I loved my wife and I found her attractive. Sex was good - we both seemed to enjoy it although she seemed to more than me. Only once I started having sex with men did I realize how much MORE I enjoyed sex with men than with women.

Essentially I married the opposite sex because I hadn't yet realized I was gay. Now that I have come to accept that I'm now married to the same sex - and it's awesome!

 

I liked guys as friends, they were fun to be around and I've had many straight crushes but I've never felt butterflies or that warmness I feel when I'm around a girl I like. Even with my ex boyfriend, after dating for 8 months, I felt comfortable with him, but there was absolutely no spark, no passion, none of that warmness. I still like most guys, but as friends, absolutely nothing more. But that's kind of hard to find where I live, my town is really cliche and guys really do only want one thing. Even the gay guys! Actually the girls too, damn okay I'm rambling.
Oh and I really, really don't understand straight guys in the slightest. So I mostly just stick with being friends with girls.

 

All through High School as my class mates all started to become interested in girls I never felt the same , I never even noticed when they started to "develop" but on the flip side I never noticed the guys either (although I do remember back in primary school spending many a lunch break lying on the grass with the girls picking "flowers" (dandelions and daisys) while watching the boys (who were playing football (soccer)) dispite the fact I had absolutly zero interest in football!

Just before our GCSE's (the last one being two days before my 16th Birthday) I remember getting a book with advice on various topics (housing, minimum wage, college, university, benefits, work, sex, relationships) and reading that one day and in particular the glossary section and coming across the two words I had been called (as insults) every day for the preceding five years "Queer" and "Poof" and seeing "see Homosexual (Male)" next to them and then flicking to that entry and seeing "A man who is sexually attracted to another man" (or words to that effect) and nothing more (thank you Section 28).

It was that simple statement that made me start to question if the reason I was showing no interest in girls was because I preferred boys, even so it was another 16 months and the start of my second year of college before I realised that yes, guys are hot - and I only realised that after I caught myself checking out this lad who was doing sport at college on more than one occasion*!

I think what sealed the deal was a few years later when I was on a night out with some mates and they were trying to set me up with this girl and after I had been to the bar I couldn't remember a single thing about her (what she was wearing , hair colour etc) and ended up speaking to the wrong girl - but could tell you the eye colour, hair colour, type of earring, brand of underwear and jeans being worn by my mates hot brother who was up for the weekend and whom had joined us ten minutes earlier. It was a that point I realised I really had no interest in girls and really was gay!

*As an aside this all was on a bus operated by Stagecoach and I'm sure it's chairman Brian Souter will be pleased to know that while he was pumping money into a campaign to keep Section 28 on the statute books in Scotland at least one person started to realise he was gay while on his buses. I'm sure he's also glad to know that the lad I was checking out spent many of his journeys too and from college playing with gay porn playing cards :roflmao:

 

i realized i was gay not even 2 years ago...at 19...which is probably why it came to be a little more of a shock to the system for me

as for dating, i was an excuse maker...even tho at the time i truely thought my excuses were how i felt...i would say guys my age were immature, douchebags, im super picky when it comes to personality...i would say i was content with being single

and then it got even more ridulous when i would go on a date with a guy (mind u i never made it to a second date because of my excuses)...i hated the dates for starters..i was always super uncomfortable..counting down the minutes till i could leave...i would give the dumbest excuses of why i didnt like them..."they were too obnoxious" "he used pet names and i hate pet names" "he wasnt genuine" "he talks about his exes"..oh and my favorite (yes this was an actual reason not to like someone for me) "he sat on the wrong side of the table" lol

and i mean there were various things about the same sex that i seemed to pay waaay too much attention to...i always said i just "REALLY care about my friends"...them all being girls

so yeah..long response..but basically..i never gave men a chance..the only guy i ever had a serious crush on (or so i thought)..i realized i only liked him cuz we got along really well..in the sense of being really good friends...to this day he is one of my best friends..and would neeeever date him lol

 

I didn't realise I was gay until around my 21st birthday but I never really fell in love or even had a decent crush on a girl. Well there was one when I was 19 but when I think about it now, it probably was some kind of 'fabricated crush', to prove to myself that I was heterosexual instead of an asexual-ish gay dude. I even asked the girl out only to find out she was already dating someone. Which was, looking back, probably the best outcome because how would I have ever explained this to her if things got serious

 

Didn't know I was gay until early 20s. Before that I just never consciously searched for a guy to date because I just wasn't interested. When a good friend of mine asked me out, it just seemed like something I was supposed to do.

When you don't know that something can be better or feel more right, it just makes sense at the time. I don't think it is wrong to do what you thought was right at the time based on what you knew.

 

Liking the opposite sex (men) always felt like something I was supposed to do. I've always liked girls, but didn't understand these feelings until I found out what homosexuality was in 6th grade.

I've always been lucky when it comes to dating. Whenever I find a guy attractive, eventually they'll ask me out. Physical contact with men makes me uncomfortable, and sometimes I even feel sick. I just tell them that I am just not the affectionate type. Needless to say, I have not have many functional relationships.
I have never dated a girl.

I am Chinese, and being a lesbian in my community is just unacceptable. Amongst my siblings, I am the most likely to get married first. My parents are very old and I would like them to meet their grandchildren at an age where they can make an impression on them. The way I see it, I am choosing between how much I love myself and how much I love my family.

 

I lived in the closet for so many years that all I ever dated until my mid-twenties were members of the opposite sex. And it was always, always, awkward. I felt like I was attracted to the idea of being in a relationship and not actually the people I was dating. And I never even felt anything for them beyond friendship. (I couldn't even kiss them. I just had no interest in it!)

I found the relationships ...well. Almost claustrophobic honestly. Kind of like I was trapped and the walls were closing in whenever I spent time with the guy I was dating. I kept trying to date different people, thinking it was just a matter of finding "the one" and then the relationship would feel right. But it never happened.

(Then I realized it just wasn't worth living the closeted lie anymore just to make my family/friends happy. So I stopped saying yes to guys when they asked me out. I've been so much happier since I made that decision.)

I have a lot of male friends and I get along with guys fine. I just don't date them anymore. As for why someone who is gay/lesbian might marry someone of the opposite sex there's a lot of reasons for it. Most of which have already been brought up in this thread, so I won't repeat them. But people who do go through with that, who know they're gay/lesbian usually do it for their own personal reasons.

 

Well I grew up in a small town. I didn't know a lot about gay people until I went to university actually. But I knew that in highschool, I didn't understand what the big deal with sex with guys was about. My female friends thought it was so amazing. I was still a virgin but I still didn't understand their attraction to men. In the mall, I would always be kind of looking at the
girlfriends holding their boyfriends hand.

I dated a couple guys in highschool. I didn't want to do much else other than kiss them though. They were like good friends.

I had a couple female crushes in highschool but I thought I just found them amazing women. It wasn't till I was 17 when I saw my first female/female kiss I realized something was up.

And I came out at age 20. There were signs all through growing up, I either ignored them or was persuaded otherwise by family. Life is going ok though, and family accepts me now.