So today my mom, sis, and I were watching some commercial on tv related to pregnant teens and my sis randomly started joking around saying I should tell my dad I'm pregnant of a drug dealer to freak him out. We always do stupid jokes like that and my sis was saying how we all know getting pregnant is one of the worst things you can do in our house. But then my mom randomly chimed in and said " No, becoming gay is one of the worst things you can do." I got really quiet then and just tried laughing it off. My sister said "Pfft, yeah right, do you honestly think dreamcatcher could ever be gay? Please... Yeah right..." (Oh irony :/) But then the show we were watching started back on and my mom didn't say anything after that. The rest of the night I tried analyzing anything she said but our conversations were completely normal. Did this mean anything? Was she trying to imply something by that statement? She said it very factually, so I can't tell if she was implying something. I've always been good at hiding anything gay related. I always delete my history or phone messages, sensor any convos I have about gay stuff, and do my best to seem unphased by any gay comments.. So i don't think I've slipped up at any time but idk... Any thoughts? Am I overthinking this? Is my mom suspicious or am I paranoid?
I'd go with paranoid. During my freshman year of college, I kind of tiptoed back into the closet. I never denied it, but I never brought it up, either. Since 13 I had gone through hell for being queer and was kind of enjoying the break from it. On Valentine's Day a friend was like, "You can be my date tonight! No one would think it's weird since you're like the straightest person." I really over analyzed it but apparently she was just totally oblivious.
For obvious reasons, none of us can know exactly how she said what she said, and that will matter a lot in understanding what she meant. If she said it the way she talks about other things (or if she's said things of this nature up before) then I'd say it is safe to assume you are only sensing a hidden meaning because it is what you're afraid of hearing. So to answer your question it sounds like you're just overthinking this.
Ouch! That had to be pretty hurtful to hear your mother say that, even if it was meant to be a joke. For me, it's usually how someone says something to me that's more hurtful than the words being spoken. I know it would have been totally awkward, but I would've been like, ”Yeah, I am gay, actually”, but that's just me because I've learned not to care about what people think, including family. Then again, I was bothered by the comment my sister made earlier regarding gay men. She said that she doesn't agree with gay marriage between two men. Her statement was contradictory because she's okay with two women, unless she's just being tolerant towards me. I openly discuss my gayness with everyone, it just comes natural to me. I know people, including my sister and your family may need to be informed and educated on the subject, which I plan on doing tomorrow. Since you're not out yet, you can still educate them on the importance of not being judgmental, even though I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Thanks for the input everyone. I think I got really paranoid because she didn't say anything after my sis made that comment about me being gay but she did say it very nonchalantly and she has said things of this nature before so I guess I am overthinking this. Pinklovely- Yeah it used to be a lot more hurtful but my parents say homophobic things all the time and they've certainly said worst things so I'm sorta becoming numb to it. I've tried educating them before but it's always a losing battle. They're always right and I'm always wrong. My parents love being judgmental and sadly if I call them out on it, they tell me I'm being judgmental of them and it becomes a vicious cycle :/
Yea I agree it sounds like a general comment rather than a targeted comment. Does your sister know? Maybe she could ease the blow (eventually when you're ready). I'm sorry that must have been painful.
No my sister doesn't know. She's 15 years old and I really don't want to tell her because I feel like it would be stressful for her to hold in such a big secret. She's a very anxious person and knowing how are parents are, I really think she would be stressed out and I'd rather that not happen.
