So. I'm not really sure how I would feel ,if do come out, about this but I'll just roll with it for now. Short story first: Now I've been doubting my sexuality for some 2/3 years now (when I come to think of it) and still haven't settled on whether I am or not. I probably am cause I look at guys, think about kissing a guy, etc etc you get the picture. Now this odd feeling I have is thinking about stuff like people asking, such as family "Hows the boyfriend?" and stuff like that. It feels weird instead of the norm which would be girlfriend. I know I haven't explained it well but that's the best I could. Also I'd feel weird being out in public and doing all the stuff that straight couples do in public (holding hands, etc etc) Like I said though I;m still in the closet and have never been in a relationship with a guy so I'm only going off how I feel now and how I think I'd feel in that situation. Well. That's about it:help:
I think that's the same for all of us. I'm comfortable with being gay, but it would feel really weird being asked 'How's the boyfriend?', and I think that's because of all the years hiding the fact that I'm gay and then suddenly people knowing and asking about it. I doubt I'd be able to do things like hold hands and kiss in public either, so it's all normal. We can't change who we are so I guess we have to deal with it. I just think you should deal with it when you get to that hurdle, it might not be as odd as you think it will be.
Okay, let's see what I can do... Got to admit I'm kind of in the same situation when it comes to doubting sexulality for a number of years, but I think that's just a mixture of sexual confusion and the lingering idea that thinking of the same sex is wrong when it isn't. It seems you know that you are attracted to guys and get more appreciation from them, so you probably are gay. If on the off chance you feel attraction to the opposite sex, you shouldn't feel like you're betraying anything about your sexuality, whatever it is. Sorry for the confusion, but with the whole "How's the boyfriend?" scenario, are they asking that now, or is that something you fear of them asking you in the future? Anyway, it would be just natural curiosity on their part and not anything negative I would have thought. And as for the public thing, I would feel the same way and I'm sure a lot of gay people feel the same as well, primarily because a lot of people will and still do look at same sex couples in a different light to those of straight couples. You don't have to do it if you don't want to and should only do it if you feel comfortable enough doing it, don't be pressured into doing it.
I think it had more to do worth how I worded my question or the lack of wording. Anyways, No they aren't asking because I'm not out. I've just got this odd feeling that's all. Maybe its do with the term "boyfriend" being used where it would typically be "girlfriend". Maybe... I don't know ---------- Post added 30th May 2012 at 01:32 PM ---------- Well that's give me some insight to the fact that even some out gay people wouldn't hold hands, kiss in public. I think it's the fact that people will watching and we all know some peoples opinions on gays although I think generally the majority of people don't mind, they just stare out of curiosity maybe... I dunno
That's how I used to feel (but about having a girlfriend), but the more I think about it, the more natural it seems, and the more I can't wait to say, "this is _____, my girlfriend," and even, "this is ______, my wife," or having a woman introduce me as such.
When I first came out, it was really strange, but not really in a bad way. Just kind of surreal. Like, "wait, is this real? Is this actually happening outside of my head?"
Yeah. Surreal is probably the right word. I just can't put my finger on why I feel like this. It's got to be related to the denial stuff
I was in a very similar situation three years ago. I was deep in the closet, and it just didn't seem realistic when I imagined my friends and family referring to some guy as "my boyfriend" because that meant no one had an issue with a concept I was still struggling to accept. When I was in the initial stages of the coming out process, the anticipation of total acceptance was just as strange and concerning as the fear of being totally rejected and abandoned. As far as PDA goes, there are places here in Atlanta where I wouldn't dare grab my boyfriend's hand or even place a hand on his shoulder. And there are other places where I would feel comfortable enough to hold him in my arms and kiss his cheek, maybe even initiate a heated makeout session if I had the mind to. I personally hate most forms of PDA, but it's nice to know there's an environment out there where I can get away with it if I really wanted to, because having the option is half the battle. I can remember the first time my boyfriend showed his affection for me in public. We were sitting on a bench outside of a restaurant, and while he was showing me pictures on his phone, he placed his free hand on my knee and nudged his head against my shoulder. My first instinct was to look around and see if anyone had noticed, which, thinking back, seemed like a shitty thing to do. But now, I can honestly say I'm glad I did it, because if I didn't look up, I wouldn't have noticed at least ten other couples walking right past us without batting an eye. It was a scenario you only dreamed about happening right in front of you. Like Ianthe said, it was surreal. Just surreal.
At risk of putting words in your mouth (trust me, I really don't mean it in a bad way) it doesn't even come across like you're in denial, but more like you've kind of "accepted the fact" and are slowly coming to grips with it. Which is a good thing I think something that might be worth keeping in mind is that everyone gets judged by everyone else as they're walking the street. Yeah, being judged as "gay" is more like publicly putting a big flashing sign on your back that someone will kick out if they really don't want to see it, but for the most part, nobody cares. Obviously there are places that are safer than others, but it's pretty easy to figure out where those places are. And again, since it's not a big deal for most people, so long as you take it in stride and treat it like no big deal it just reiterates that point even more. That's really hard to do since it's uncomfortable for a lot of us (particularly those of us who aren't or are newly out), but we kind of have to "fake it till we make it". If we don't show the rest of the world it's NBD, who will? Admittedly, I'd be super nervous about going PDA with my boyfriend (if I ever find one...), but I'm actually looking forward to the day I have the opportunity to. Really, it's a chance for me to show the world that I'm comfortable as me and nobody needs to care.
Yeah. I guess I am. Kind of doing it without realizing Yeah. I suppose if show it doesn't bother me or at least fake that it doesn't then who will. Thank you for your help and advice(*hug*)
