Gay or Lesbian?

When talking to other people I tend to use gay, but I feel just about as comfortable with lesbian as with gay. Of course, I've been out to myself for about 4 months now and only settled on basically gay/lesbian rather than bi about a month ago, so both still sound a little strange to me when applied to myself, even though I am pretty sure about my attraction to women at this point.

 

Well I'm bisexual... but for a time when I thought I only liked girls, I completely preferred the word gay. The word lesbian just annoys me for some reason, I don't know why.

 

I've come to terms with saying the word lesbian and I have no problem with it now. When I first came out and especially before I was out, the word gay was much easier to think and say to myself. When I came out I used gay and it got the point across. Now that I've been out for a while, I say the word lesbian more than gay. I noticed also that it was even difficult for my male gay friends to say. I remember talking to him about something he said "yeah and it's like she thinks because I'm gay and you're a...uh, you know, a lesbian, that, bla, bla, bla." Like I just picked up that he struggled to say the word, can't say why, I just noticed it did. I think it is because the word can be overwhelming sometimes. It is easy to hide behind the word gay when you're a lesbian (not that people who just simply prefer "gay" instead of "lesbian" are hiding in any serious sense of the word.) Maybe it is that you are gay and you are a lesbian thing that makes it sound and feel so much heavier than it is.

Anyway, I used gay before, but now I use lesbian more. I like both words, but I actually prefer to use lesbian more now because even though it's weird that it's a noun and not an adjective, it's still my sexual orientation and I'm proud of that. Also I've always thought of gay as meaning "homosexual male" even before my own sexual orientation came into play. And so just out of respect for gay guys not having another word to describe them, I continue to see it and use it that way. I'm not saying any lesbian that prefers "gay" is being disrespectful or anything either, that's just how I feel about it.

 

I'm more preferable to just using gay. The label as lesbian sounds harsher to me for some reason.

 

Gay. Or queer. Lesbian sounds very wrong to me. It feels restricted, like I have no room to breath. But maybe that's just because I'm too scared to call myself something so overwhelmingly definite.

 

Though I'm still in the process of figuring things out, I would prefer to call myself "gay", because "lesbian" makes me uncomfortable for some reason that I can't quite explain.

 

I just call myself as a whole queer, because I'm neither heterosexual nor cisgendered, so that about wraps it up.

 

Gay for sure! Lesbian sounds harsh. I don't know why, it's not like it offends me or anything, I just don't dig it.

 

Lesbian, it sounds much hotter.

 

I think when i was more uncomfortable around the subject i always said gay. Now being okay with myself i still often say gay in conversation but do say lesbian when asked about sexuality.
So either just depends on the context.

 

I don't like the word lesbian or queer. Lesbian sounds kinda dirty for some reason and queer sounds like I'm some kind of weirdo (which is essentially what it means). Also I don't like how I would have to say I am "a " lesbian instead of I'm gay. That "a" makes the difference to me. When you say I'm gay, it's like your describing an intrinsic part of yourself like I'm optimistic or I'm right handed. But when you say "I'm a...", it's like your describing something you do and not really a core part of you. Like I'm a writer or I'm an acrobat. And at least gay means happy lol. I know it's really weird logic but I just can't seem to like the word lesbian.