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I Felt SO BAD FOR HIM!!!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kronis Astar, Apr 11, 2012.

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  1. Kronis Astar

    Kronis Astar Guest

    Okay, so I was in school today, and i saw the saddest thing ever!!! This guy that is openly gay moved from my school and went to a school for music and art and such, well he moved back like two weeks ago and now no one will talk to him.. He waited till he left my school before coming out and now that he is back he is being treated like total crap.. I have also heard from a few people that ride his bus that his mom was giving him problems about being gay. I was like OMG HOW RUDE!!! Well i was leaving today, i check out early every day because i only have six hours opposed to seven because im a senior, and as i walked by the library i just happened to glance into the window and he was sitting all by himself in the corner crying... I wanted so bad to go and hug him, but of course, no one knows im bi so it would be kind of giving it away if i were to hug him.. I went to my car and literally cried.. I live in a small country town where if you are gay or bi or lesbian you are like picked on the worst out of all the other minority groups.. Its absolutely pathetic.. But anyway, i felt really bad for him..
     
    #1 Kronis Astar, Apr 11, 2012
  2. zeratul

    zeratul Guest

    You know what, it is sad. I would recommend that you reach out to him because the whole sitting-alone-in-the-corner-crying isn't a good sign and you might just lift his spirits. You can reach out to him secretly without others knowing, obviously.

    I think, deep down, you know what you want to do the most about this situation.
     
    #2 zeratul, Apr 11, 2012
  3. ANightDude

    ANightDude
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    Wouldn't hurt to reach out to him. It's one thing to be cautious of what people think of you, but it's another to be a good human being.
     
    #3 ANightDude, Apr 11, 2012
  4. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    A lot of times people only need one person to tell them that they are okay and that they just have to wait it out. If you feel inclined to try and help him out, feel free to reach out to him.

    If you are afraid of people finding out then you can try to do it anonymously by creating a fake facebook account, leaving him a note in his locker or anything that you can think of.
     
    #4 TheEdend, Apr 11, 2012
  5. ArcherySet

    ArcherySet Guest

    Reach out to him. You want to, so screw all those cruel, immature, hateful people around you and do it.

    You don't have to hug him (though that wouldn't be so bad), but a smile, a hand on his shoulder, any showing of kindness will help a lot. I understand the desire to protect yourself, and your own interests might be strong, but why care about the opinions of these cruel peers? Even before coming out, I've never tolerated cruelty from others, and I certainly don't mind putting people in their place.

    When high school ends, life begins, and you don't want to be looking back with regret once you realize that you could have done more for this boy, but were too scared to, and for nothing. Most of the people that you see every day won't even exist in your life in 1-3 years.
     
    #5 ArcherySet, Apr 11, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2012
  6. Mlpguy88

    Mlpguy88
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    Reach out to him, if someone is crying alone I can't help but to console them.

    Who knows you could get a good friend out of it, and if everyone thinks your straight and sees you around him, it might inspire them to think differently about themselves.
     
    #6 Mlpguy88, Apr 11, 2012
  7. gb981309

    gb981309
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    Teen LGBT suicide has a VERY high prevalence in America, especially in Christian-rural areas. Please do what you can to reach out to this kid. Looking back, you might regret not being strong enough to do so.
     
    #7 gb981309, Apr 11, 2012
  8. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    You should have just sat down with him and asked him what was up, honestly. You could literally save his life with something so simple. I'm seconding ArcherySet here. In a few years none of the people you see in high school will be a part of your life whatsoever, so who the hell cares what they think about anything? Who knows, this guy could be your newest best friend. There is literally no reason not to show him some kindness.
     
    #8 Kidd, Apr 11, 2012
  9. erod123

    erod123
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    With all honesty what's worse. Not helping out someone because people might find out who you are?, or protecting your precious secret? Which by the way what's the use of hiding who you are just because people will judge you? Who cares what people think? They pick on different minorities, and the LGBT community because they are scared and afraid of what's going to happen when they accept us. I would have gone up to that poor guy and befriended him. Its the right thing to do no matter who he is.
     
    #9 erod123, Apr 11, 2012
  10. Vesper

    Vesper
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    I have to agree with everyone who's said that you should reach out to him. Try to live life without regrets; what if, 20 years later, you remember this incident and regretted helping this boy in his hour of need?

    I know how you feel. There was this girl in middle school who, because of her appearance and shy demeanor, had to endure mean-spirited name-calling on a regular basis. I didn't participate, but I didn't help, either, out of fear of myself becoming a target. Unbelievably, the top student in the class thought this teasing was amusing. I've always regretted not helping her.

    Your situation has the potential to get tragic, unlike the situation I just mentioned. By talking to him and comforting him, you could literally be helping save that boy's life.
     
    #10 Vesper, Apr 11, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2012
  11. Just Passing

    Just Passing
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    It's totally possible to help out someone who is being alienated because of their sexuality without exposing your own if that's a minor problem at all. I would definitely suggest trying to make this guy feel appreciated in some way, if only to give him some sense that not everyone is going to hate him just because he's gay.

    That and people in high school are generally dicks. When you leave, you'll rarely see them again and if you're lucky, you'll be with the people you do like from that place. This guy could be one of them.
     
    #11 Just Passing, Apr 12, 2012
  12. Kronis Astar

    Kronis Astar Guest

    Ok so I totally approached him yesterday when he was sitting alone in the corner, and he was a total butthole... I was so surprised....
     
    #12 Kronis Astar, Apr 13, 2012
  13. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    Is it? His whole social life is crumbling purely because he's gay. Don't you think that would make him at least a little angry towards everyone and everything visible?
     
    #13 Zaio, Apr 13, 2012
  14. Brenny

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    He is at a difficult point in his life. And if he is being treated badly because he's out, I wouldn't blame him for acting out at you when you approached him. From his point of view, he probably is just being defensive. He's been hurt. Give him time. I would try again. Just assure him that you were concerned.
     
    #14 Brenny, Apr 13, 2012
  15. Just Passing

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    I can only agree with everyone else that's responded so far. This guy has been treated badly by pretty much everyone he knows of his age group, so he's probably uncertain of anyone wanting to get close to him in case they inevitably hurt him. It's a human emotion that most people feel when they believe themselves to be distant from everyone else.

    Give him time and keep trying, he may come around.
     
    #15 Just Passing, Apr 13, 2012
  16. Sayu

    Sayu
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    Do you know his name? Maybe you could write to him on Facebook or something like that. Because it is very sad and it is bad for him to be alone :frowning2: You two could be friends, or at least "secret friends" :slight_smile: I think it would help him really :slight_smile: I hope it will get better for him soon :frowning2: Poor boy :frowning2:
     
    #16 Sayu, Apr 13, 2012
  17. alexdrake1234

    alexdrake1234
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    that just broke my heart. Brighten his day and talk to him :slight_smile:
     
    #17 alexdrake1234, Apr 13, 2012
  18. Eww

    Eww Guest

    The damage that is done by hateful people knows no bounds. Be brave! Don't add to the hatred. I noticed you said you saw him weeping and you walked right past him. Do you know what that means? It means you allow them to make you as bad as they are. Don't do it.
     
    #18 Eww, Apr 13, 2012
  19. Atticus

    Atticus
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    I've been in this kid's situation. Being approached is terrifying. Perhaps try again. I like the idea of using a facebook or something like that. It is non-aggressive, it is informal, and no one has to go outside of their comfort zones. He'll probably respond more positively and then you can reach out to him further. I would have responded this way.
     
    #19 Atticus, Apr 13, 2012
  20. fatalmoon91

    fatalmoon91
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    IMO you can't be labeled as being bi gay or straight for wanting to help someone in need and that's exactly what i feel you explained, someone who needs a friend. It could also be an opportunity to show your small town that there is nothing wrong with the LGBT people. I would say go and talk to him and try to reintegrate him into the community. I knew people in my high school that when i look back on it because they were so open with who they were they ended up showing the school that they were like everyone else and I believe the entire town changed to be a more positive place because of them. I look back and regret not letting myself be who I was then and its largely because of them.
     
    #20 fatalmoon91, Apr 13, 2012
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