Ok so i finally came out to my family today and this is something my sister asked me. It was on so many levels odd and I don't know if this felt like an odd question to answer because I have memory problems and don't really remember my childhood at all. or if its because i dont know how long I knew. I say this because lately ive been remembering this conversation i had with my parents about me "questioning my sexuality" I didn't remember this conversation until about a week and a half ago. I don't truly remember questioning who I am ever. but this conversation occured when i was 11-12. I also found it odd that she said the people in the town we grew up in were the reason i denied my sexuality in my mind for a while. I agree with her. while i was growing up i only know of one person who asked me because someone told him not because he thought he could gain something from me being homosexual. I dont know that i want anything from this but i was just curious if this question brought up any memories for people like mine. I remember always being gay but not always acknowledging that side of myself.
well Congratulations im just like you, ive always known too, as early as 5 years old, which was around the same time i figured out that being attracted to the same sex was not the 'norm' or accepted either. just wanted to get that in before someone says you cant know your sexuality before puberty.
Well done for coming out like a lot of people, I've always known that I wasn't straight- how could I be, I liked girls!- but it took me a while to get to a stage where I accepted myself as gay. Like you said, I guess I've always been this way- I just didn't acknowledge it. xx
Congrats! I've definitely always known, but for a long period of my life I didn't see it as something permanent, I always thought I'd 'grow out of it'. I remember being in a school assembly when I was like...5-6 and finding older guys attractive - which I find quite scary! Again, well done and congratulations!
For me, it's really two very distinct questions with different answers: When were your first inclinations towards liking the same sex? As a little boy, maybe 5 or 6 years old. When did you embrace being gay? December of last year at 34 years old. People have asked me if the same-sex attraction has been with you for so long, why did it take you until now to accept it? I can give any and every reason under the sun. All of them are correct and all of them are cop-outs. I've been looking at how personality ties into sexuality lately. I've long been introverted, shy, and quiet. The mere thought of getting into trouble or bringing unwanted attention to me would literally paralyze me. Coupling that with the taboo subject of homosexuality was enough for me to run from it for so long. Congratulations for coming out and hot hiding it anymore. Sounds like you've got a supportive family there.
I think your surrounding can have a huge impact. I grew up in an very religious family where nobody ever met a openly gay person. It was believed that they were ungodly people living somewhere else. My childhood was in an Evangelical bubble that surrounded me completely. School, church, neighborhood and friends were all inside this bubble. Nobody ventures outside into the ungodly world for anything. Looking back now, I should have known right at the beginning of adolescence. Later...in my early teens, it should have been very obvious, but I couldn't allow myself to think that way. I had been trained that gays were people who choose to be bad like drug addicted Satan worshipers. I suppressed my feelings but my conscious mind had to have some kind of explanation which I remember thinking there was something wrong with my brain. I escaped the bubble in college but still had all the teaching that took a long time to get over. By then my conscious mind was sure I was gay, but I put it aside and tried not to think about it. It was only connecting with other people in the digital world that I finally came out to myself. It is a mixed bag. Ever hear of the overly religious Duggar family? That's the kind of enviourment I grew up in. You know the kids are not allowed to kiss anyone until marriage because it is not godly. Try to imagine a kid being born gay in that family...how on earth would they cope? When would they figure it out if sexual education isn't even talked about.
I have to wonder about the Duggar family. With that many kids, odds are at least one of them is gay or questioning. Granted, many of them are still young, but could you imagine the pressure of figuring our your sexual identity on national t.v. in an environment like that? If any of the children are gay or questioning, God help them. Literally.
I can definitely relate to JRNagoya and Tennbad. My first same-sex thoughts were when I was about 7 but it wasn't until a year ago that it really hit me that I was gay. I always thought the same-sex thoughts I had were some kind of evil temptation so I would always pray to make them go away and surely they did, for a little while. I didn't think it meant I was gay. I just thought a lot of people had them and they just fought them off like I did.... Because I've always been the obedient kid and the one that never gets in trouble and does what she's told, I thought I could never be gay since I was a "good" person. It wasn't until last year where my feelings towards girls got even stronger and then it sort of sunk in that the fact that I couldn't get rid of these thoughts/feelings meant that I was gay. Congrats on coming out
I don't know that I really ever realized or knew what it meant when I was younger, but now that I have come to realize it I see all od these things that happened that probably point to it...
Well done for coming out! It's great that you've finally came out to your family! Like JRNagoya, I have 2 different answers. Well, 3. When did I start having gay feelings? Since I was 6, I think. Maybe 7. (probably a lot younger, but I have a bad memory ) When did I start questioning my sexuality? November 2011. When did I figure it out? Last month, lol.
Congrats on coming out! For me it was after I went on a few dates with girls when I was 13 and I just realised one day that I didn't have any real feelings for girls I was just doing it because that's what your "supposed" to do.
Congratulations on your achievement! It wasn't until I was around thirteen when I began to realize that I had a past interest as a child, my hunky PE teacher
Well I didn't admit it till last Halloween but I've known since 1st grade that I like boys as well as girls.
I actually did not go any dates with girls but I kind of had the same experience where I was just doing what the other teens were doing and thought it was what I had to do. I was not a outgoing person who ever got lucky with a date which did not turn me gay I just realized that i had no sexual feelings for girls as I got older and into High School. I spent from 7th grade when I first acknowledged these feelings to myself to 10th grade going through stages of denial and depression until I finally accepted myself. Even after I first acknowledged my attraction towards men I had trouble accepting myself and now at twenty one I am a proud gay christian man. I still am not fully out of the closet but it is a process that I got to take one step at a time for my own personal reasons.
There were some events that when I think back it was like signs... But just like Dreamcatcher said I just thought that everybody had the same issues. I think that maybe being bisexual makes it easier to let you think you're straight, after all you do like the opposite gender... I was remembering some things the other day and I was feeling really stupid, like "duuuh! How come you haven't realized that before?!"
I've only "known" I was attracted to women for about three months, but I'd suspected I was something other than straight since I was about 15 or 16. I probably should have acknowledged I was bi last year when I kept thinking about how attractive one of the girls in theater was, but at the time I was far more focused on simply surviving that year to worry about it. My case was somewhat complicated by the fact that I think I'm gray-A. It's pretty difficult to tell what your orientation is if you don't really feel attracted to anyone except in specific circumstances.
Congrats! :eusa_clap Right after I turned 12 (literally a few days after) I started developing a crush on this girl. I didn't realize it was a crush for a few weeks (it occurred to me it was a crush when she asked me who I liked and I lied and said it was some guy). Ever since, I've had a few others crushes on girls, and my feelings for guys are fading. Since I'm turning 14 in about a week, it's been pretty much 2 years.
I've always known I was gay, but when I was younger i just didn't know what it was. I remember seeing girls, and thinking they were hot, but not knowing what it meant. And when I realized I was gay when i was 14, I was in severe denial for a long time, even though I've always known I was gay.
Well, I think I have always known deep down I was gay since about the 1st grade (5-6 years old), but I didn't fully realize it and accept it until about the last two years or so. Growing up I liked girls, and had no interest in dating guys but yet I never put 2 and 2 together. Yeah, I was in denial.
I've known I have been attracted to guys for as long as I can remember, but it was only around age 17 that I put two and two together.