1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I feel so alone

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by randoney31, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. randoney31

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    District 2
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi, I don't go on this site and asking for help or advice for stuff about my sexuality is scary and completely new to me it's like the time I learnt sign language.

    I live in a country called new Zealand and its really hard to find help here. I don't know any like LGBT people personally and there are no support groups so it's really hard to ask for help here.

    I want to be able to talk to someone and get help and the only solution for me is the Internet as I have no other options.

    I also don't know any other people that go on EC personally or in real life because I assume all my friends are straight and happy being that way and they like making out with their girlfriends or whatever on a Friday night. So if anyone wants to talk to me that would be really great cause I have no one else to talk to.

    Thanks and sorry for wasting your time with this very long and confusing thing about me being alone and needing someone to talk to because im confused and I'm scared bad stuff would happen.
     
  2. Pilgrim is hot

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2011
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England - Somewhere in the middle
    Hi first of all (*hug*) I grew up only hanging out with straight friends so I understand how you feel you are not alone, there are some amazing people to talk to on here who give great advice.
     
  3. King

    King Guest

    You don't need to apologize, you aren't wasting anybodys time :slight_smile: If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me. I know you don't know me personally but I can help if you just want to talk :slight_smile:
    And I understand feeling alone, believe me. It's actually starting to damage a few relationships I have.
     
  4. unknownerror

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2012
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Skullcrusher Mountain
    trust me your thread is far from "very long". This site is here as a welcome safe place for all of us. We are all here for you and willing to listen and give a (*hug*) when needed :slight_smile:

    you can always talk to someone here if life is being difficult, we've all gone through it :slight_smile:
     
  5. Nero

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2012
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Matrix/NSW Aus/ the shire
    Gender:
    Male
    mate if you ever want to chat im avalible i can relate somewat to what your saying(*hug*) never be scared when theres someone to talk to
     
  6. MrHojalata98

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    91
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    i know how you feel man im 14 and i had NO ONE to talk to either. but believe me EC helps a lot more than you think, before i was even scared to say i was gay on the internet but now i say it like i say any other thing about myself (baby steps :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)so if u ever want to talk i get on very often so just send me a message :slight_smile:
     
  7. amwm2wm3

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2012
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's a pretty overwhelming thing to be facing at 14 and it's normal to feel positively rotten over it.
    The internet is a good place to start. I discovered this LGBT youth chat when I was 11 and it very well could have saved my life. I didn't know any gay people and I thought there was something the matter with me. I thought that I'd never to be happy. But talking to people there really helped. I'm still good friends with many of those people and in the last decade I've had the pleasure of meeting a few of them. So start here.
    Feel free to send me a message if you ever need to talk.
     
  8. randoney31

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    District 2
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks people, you all are supportive :slight_smile:
     
  9. TexaCali

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2012
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I fell head over heels in love with NZ when I visited in October last year. Let me start by saying you are extremely lucky to live in such an incredible country! I made a vow that I'd eventually live out the rest of my life there.

    One of the deciding factors in my decision to make En Zed my home one day was that it's a tolerant, integrated country with a vibrant and active gay culture. I knew I'd be coming out at some point before moving there so it's important that I not move to an intolerant country.

    I'm assuming you live in one of the many rural areas of the country, and if your avatar is you, then I'm also assuming you are of Maori descent. Those two factors would certainly make it more difficult to get along as a teenager.
    When I was 14 I had just realized I was gay and it was impossible. I lived in a rural area that was extremely intolerant so it was critical to my survival that I not be outed. There was not a soul who dared even hint that they were anything but Christian and heterosexual. Even the Jewish kids were picked on... I was despondent and suicidal, but of course I'm glad I rode it out because I have found that I can be happy despite what the world may think of me. (of course I'll be happiest when I can get back to the Land of the Long White Cloud:icon_bigg)

    You may be isolated in your physical location but as long as you have the internet you have us here. You can always talk here, it's safe and we keep it that way. You're never alone! Also, take a look at a few of my posts-- they're friggin' novels and yet the wonderful people here still will take the time to read it and offer a helping hand, kind supportive words, and advice.
    Kia kaha, randoney31.(*hug*)
     
  10. Maxis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2012
    Messages:
    439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've also been in your shoes. When I started questioning my sexuality I felt like nobody else could understand because everyone else around me was straight. It was terrible. But just remember, you have us. You're not alone and you never will be, as long as you have internet. (*hug*)
     
  11. Mlpguy88

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2011
    Messages:
    915
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Randoney, I know what it is like to feel alone, I really do, it's hard but whenever I feel that way I come here and it reminds me that none of us are alone, and that is a good feeling. Stick around for a while, if there is anything that you what to talk about, feel free to because no one will judge you. You are always welcome here. (*hug*)
     
  12. insidehappy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2012
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Closetville, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    you are not alone. it just feels that way. there are other guys that are in your school that are going through the same thing but noone wants to talk about it. in fact you may be surprised some of them may even been on this website too. also all of the guys that are making out with girls are not 100 percent straight. some guys are questioning just like you are.
     
  13. TheAnonymity

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2011
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CT
    Gender:
    Male
    If you want to talk, I'm usually on here most of the week.
     
  14. TheAMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2012
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    VA
    No need to apologize. We're all here to help you if you need it.
     
  15. LimePopsicle

    LimePopsicle Guest

    You're not wasting anyone's time. I'm sure we would all love to help/talk/listen to you. I'm here if you need anything.
     
  16. Waffles

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2012
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Don't be sorry bro!
    Trust me, you ain't alone!
    If you ever need to talk one-on-one, just PM me!
    We're here to help! Stay strong bro! *hug*
     
  17. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There are a good number of gay people in New Zealand, particularly in Auckland. I personally know a couple gay guys who live there. Of course, if you're out in the boonies it might be a little harder, but I think you might actually be surprised if you look around.

    Have you looked to see if there's a PFLAG chapter anywhere near you? They do have chapters in most countries, and that would be a good place to start.
     
  18. randoney31

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    District 2
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    TexaCali: I'm of asian descent and i live near the city.

    Chip: I couldn't find any PLFAG groups near me

    But the rest of you are really supportive :slight_smile: thanks heaps
     
  19. TexaCali

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2012
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austin, Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not living rural can help coming out be easier. Unless "city" to you means something the size of Greymouth or Hawera, you should have not as hard a time connecting with other people or groups. I think Christchurch, Wellington, Hamilton, etc. when I think of NZ cities. I'll bet there are support groups and/or websites somewhere on your island in NZ, north or south, and if you keep looking you might just find them. If you can't find one maybe you could start one!
    Unless people are running around in witch hunts or openly beating gays in your area, I wouldn't live in fear of coming out. You've found us here, and that's a great start. Many of us may be across the planet but we're still here for you.:icon_bigg
    I searched and found this (sorry if you've already been there):
    Auckland GLBT/Queer Youth Peer Support Service – Rainbow Youth And of course there's www.gaynz.com/
     
  20. Hi, this is a really late reply (sorry)
    I live in NZ also, and I know how you feel. Sometimes I think there are less than 10 lgbt people here xD
    If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you :slight_smile: