It doesnt always get better

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If there were more people like you, things would hardly ever get done. The people involved in this proyect are out there, they tell their stories and what they have been through, they express their support to those in need of help; and you think is stupid. It's not that they are saying that things will get better instantly. It's up to you to make that happen. They are just showing that even though some might think it's the end of the road, they do have a world of possibilities, to find a loved one, to find friends that care and support you, and that if we all fight together, eventually we will be able to marry and form families.
You just need to be positive as I am. You need to see the glass half full rather than half empty.

 

@robert: I applaud your activism and for your efforts in the fight for gay rights. Your efforts are not unnoticed, but there are more ways to change the world than active protest. I may sound idealistic, but I believe everyone has an opportunity to be active just by being out when possible and being kind and tolerant and showing their circle of influence what homosexuality is. That being active doesn’t mean having to be aggressive and forcing our views on people the way they try to force their distaste on us. Just because you are out there protesting doesn’t mean people who tries to share their hope is any less useful.
I get that you are frustrated and I get that you’re angry at the past and how slow people and policy changes. But for the kids and even some adults who watch the videos, many are not concerned with what protests are going on or even what they can do to help, they just want to know that there is a chance, even just a little chance that maybe that life would get better.
On a side note, the holocaust started with the euthanizing of elderly and mentally disabled. Homosexuals were not the only one’s to suffer. Don’t forget the Jewish and gypsy people were persecuted. If you think about it, there were probably less homosexuals who were killed than straight people.

 

You keep mentioning the gays who were murdered in the holocaust as an example of how it doesn't always get better. We aren't living in Nazi Germany. You aren't going to get castrated and murdered by your government because you're gay. To use them as an example of why things don't always get better is, frankly, ridiculous, because things aren't that bad now. I'm not going to argue that things always get better for everyone, but you'll do a better job of convincing people that that's the case if you use an example that's relevant to our time.

 

Just to play a bit of devil's advocate - While we do not live in Nazi Germany (my grandfather survived 7 years of a POW camp there), the US IS quickly becoming more and more of a fascist state; coupled up with the constant beatings, rapings, murders and such conducted by the masses. It DOES happen, every day, south of the border. To say otherwise is silly.

That said, I DO view the campaign as a good thing; it spreads word not just to those of us suffering, but also to the masses in general; raising awareness, reminding everyone that we are all human. It is a good, peaceful way to try and counter the disturbing trend seen in the US - and hopefully other countries as well.

But. Without the resolve to say, "YES, We WILL make it better, and we will not stop till it IS better!", then it is all for naught.

 

Quoted for truth

 

Robert, I'm sorry you have been hurt. You are a good person. I feel inspired by your willingness to put yourself out there to stand up for what's right. I think the only reason anyone needs to feel passionate about gay rights is to bring some peace to such good folk who are brave enough to fight on when they've been hurt. You kind of remind me of White Fang: even when he had nothing in his life but misery and hate, his heart was strong. That novel always makes me cry.

I know it doesn't always "get better," Robert. I'm sorry that there is ugliness and injustice in this world. However, I don't think it always helps to talk only about how bad things are. Youth who are struggling sometimes need positive, reassuring messages. Yeah...I know you disagree. Maybe you're right. Maybe it IS wrong to pretend that everything is okay when clearly things are NOT okay. Maybe false hope only serves to take the fight out of people. I guess that what you think about it depends on your individual experience.

Personally, I think there are a lot of good ways to help the cause. I think that protest, if you target it just right, can help damage the sense of sanctimonious self-justification in the anti-gay camp: it destroys the "myth of the happy nigger." I think the Trevor Project helps some people, too, though. Yeah, I know you disagree, but I don't believe in the idea that we always have to be on the attack. I think that sometimes the nurturing approach is the right way.

There are my thoughts, for what they are worth.

 

I agree. We are not going to win our rights by focusing on getting even for all the things straight people have done in the past. That does absolutely nothing. Hate can't fight hate, only love can. I'm as mad as the next guy when I think about Matthew Shepard or Larry King. But what exactly do you propose we do about it? We convicted the killers (in most cases, I know King is a touchy one).

I know you're big on gay rights, and I am too. I applaud you for doing all you do. But you have to stop thinking of straight people as the enemy. You want peace and equality? Stop thinking of people as straight or gay and just think of them as people. Equality is a two way street. If you want the world to treat gay people with love, stop attacking them with hate.

And another thing. You seem to have this generalization on the It Gets Better videos. Let me see... "instead of finding a video which is honest and trustworthy they find some snot nosed little brat talking about how it will always get better just like it did for him." What? Have you seen how many It Gets Better videos there are? There are ones from every single walk in life. That's what makes the project so great, that it has so many different types of people coming together trying to do some good. Each video is made individually, most of the time in a home, by people who just want to help. They're not popped out like babies from some corporate building. I don't understand how you can think that every single video is exactly the same. Have you even looked at them? Also, the honest and trustworthy part. I've seen many honest videos - someone even posted one on this thread. If that's not, then what about this:

[YOUTUBE]Joel Burns tells gay teens "it gets better" http://www.joelburns.com - YouTube[/YOUTUBE]

I don't know what your definition of honest is if it's not that.

The videos are built on hope. Hope that things get better, that things turn around. Would you prefer that we leave those kids hopeless, thinking that life is going to stay as terrible as it is for them right at that moment. I don't understand what you would want us to do differently. You keep complaining - on things that I really see no problem with - without providing any solutions to the 'problems'.

-Kanen

 

Most of what I already wanted to say has been mentioned. But we need to recognise one thing. This project is aimed at young gay teenagers. For the most part, homophobic bullying is going to disappear between Grade 8 and Grade 12, aside from the very conservative areas.

It's telling them that just because right now, everything is shit, you aren't going to have to put up with the other elderly people in your nursing home 70 years from now calling you a 'faggot' while pissing into their incontinence bag, or something like that.

While it might not get better right away, is more LGBT suicide a better option?

 

Kanen, I couldn't agree with you more. The past is the past, whether we like it or not. We can't look back in every single thing that people did to the homosexuals. What we can do is change the situation for a better future. And like you said Robert, I do acknowledge that we live in an unfair world, but I like to think that there's more good in it than evil. And I'm sorry for what I said before regarding your input in the gay community.

 

Yes, the project has good intentions, but perhaps the message is a little oversimplistic.

All I'd say is that you have to stay optimistic. And empower yourself to make things the way you want them to be. Make things better for yourself.

In any case, knowing you're not alone and being surrounded by others wherever they may be who are sharing their experiences has got to be a comforting thing.

 

I think the message has a lot of room to broaden and grow within individual videos, though. "It gets better" as an idea encompasses a lot - the pain lessens, we become more accepting, circumstances change, etc. I understand the sentiment that for some people it doesn't seem to get better, and the aggravation that comes with that, but the important part is that it CAN get better. And that's the most important thing for someone that's struggling to learn, that their future is not set in stone, that the dark spiral into oblivion they see for themselves isn't the path they have to travel. "It" is something we all share, not just those on the LGBT spectrum, but everyone who deals with pain and despair about who they are, from internal or external sources. Knowing that wonderful, better things are possible is a vitally important message to impart to people who feel cut off and alone.

The fact that it doesn't get better for some isn't because it wasn't possible for them. It's society that failed them, and an affirmative message that despite what they're facing, they can survive and have a better existence shouldn't be discouraged even if it doesn't solve everything.

 

Its amazing how split some of the views are on this forum. I have to say that on the whole I agree wholeheartedly with the idea of the videos. The concept is to give young people hope for the future and, as many people have alluded to already,..if it stops one person committing suicide...well then its all worth it.

I must say I find some videos more moving than others. I am waiting for the day a Premiership footballer stands up and makes a video, "I'm gay, Im proud and life is great." Maybe one day.

 

I'm going to be doing a story on this very topic...hopefully maybe, just maybe I'll get it published lol. Wish me luck guys.

 

good luckthats really interesting. Whats your title going to be?

 

It doesn't always get better to the extent that you want it to...

But I think if you seek to have it set in your mind to move forward...it CAN get better.

 

I completely agree. Not from my own experiences, because I have no idea how my life's going to turn out, but from my cousins. He's 35 years old. When he came out his parents pretty much disowned him, and so did his religion. But it wasn't the type of things where years later they were like, "Know what? You're my son and I love you anyway." They still really rarely talk, and my aunt and uncle are still extremely homophobic, and always will be. I feel bad saying that about my uncle though, he just had a stroke and has pneumonia... But anyways, he's really lonely because he hasn't found a special guy, and I've heard my aunt say that he's an alcoholic because of being unhappy, which could be fatal to his health. After probably at least 15 years out of the closet, it doesn't seem like he's had it get much better, just a lot worse.

 

honestly the only way for it to get better will be when everyone sees people like us as normal,instead of freaks or watever they say. i'll get better for me once i get out of my country where it's actually illegal to be an lgbt...

 

Still working on the title, but definitely need some participants.