I'm planning to have "The Talk" with my mom and dad in the coming weeks (maybe days!), and I'm feeling pretty confident right now. However, I'd like to get some input from those of you who have done this already. What were the most common questions asked by your parents after coming out? I just want to be prepared so that I remain calm and rational during the discussion. A couple questions/comments I am anticipating are: -Are you sure? -What does being gay mean to you? -How long have you known? -Why did you turn out this way? -Why didn't you tell us earlier? -Why did you choose now to tell us? -What about grandchildren? -Did we fail you are parents? -Are you worried about your soul? -Won't this be embarrassing to the family? -We're worried about your safety...what about drugs, HIV/AIDS, harassment? -Who can we talk to about this? Are there any other obvious (or not so obvious) ones I'm missing?
My mum asked if I thought I was gay because I'd had bad experiences with boys. So did a friend I told on a separate occasion. That seems to be common too.
someone coudl ask: were you molested, did someone touch you as child what makes you think you're gay, but mostly be prepared for comments not questions. Depending on how accepting they are, if they are not accepting you may here these comments: 1. you're not gay, you weren't born like this. 2. this is not normal/dont believe the gay agenda 3. that kinda life is not good for you 4. The whole Religion stuff
Just don't let them do what my parents did, and basically tell you that you have no clue, and that you can't possibly know, and that you shouldn't tell anyone, because it's the worst. They don't discuss, and I'm basically still in the closet, and my Dad still talks about girls to me in the hope that I'll have a girlfriend. They'll probably ask questions that are both uncomfortable and unexpected. Just be firm, and clear, and let them know exactly how you feel, and it'll be fine
Thanks for the feedback, guys. This preparation stage has truly been a balancing act...on the one hand, you don't want to assume the worst about people, and you have to allow them room to surprise you. On the other hand, you want to be prepared so that you handle negative reactions and awkward questions/comments with poise, and not get flustered or angry. To be honest, I'm eager to dispel some vicious misconceptions about gay people that certain individuals in my life are keen to accept. Perhaps I can change a few minds by the process of coming out. ---------- Post added 12th Feb 2012 at 02:41 PM ---------- This type of comment is so irritating, because there's no good way to debate someone who makes accusations removed from facts and evidence. When a person's comments are driven by emotion and fear rather than rationality, it's hard to reason with them. I don't think my parents will go this far (I'm expecting more shock and initial disappointment than outright bigotry), but it's worth being aware of all possibilities.
My parents were super scared and awkward and yet my mom asked if I had had sex yet. Then she told me how terrible of a lifestyle I was choosing, and that I will never live a full life. Then she told me that this was like she was told her son was dead. Good luck, please don't take my response as a reason not to tell your family beaches now I am very close with my mom and dad. Just be prepared for a low blow statement. Stay strong and keep your head high.
My mom asked how I could know, if I've never been with a guy, and asked if I was still a virgin. When I couldn't give her an answer other than "I just am", she asked if I watched porn. I wish I had been more ready for that question. lol
When I came out to my sister, who is a lesbian btw (not minor detail), she even had the nerve to ask me "How do you know you're gay if you have never been with a guy before?". I was like, Really?, you are telling me that. Anyway, good luck coming out!
