i wouldn't suggeset bringing mom into the picture to ask the other lady anything about the guy because they other lady is going to tell the guy that this lady with her son was asking about you and that is going to seem weird and creepy. i just think he needs to go into the store alone, strike up conversation and see what happens.
Telling others about the guy would cause a lot of confusion. To kind of 'guage' where my mom is with me being gay, she'll talk about a hunk that she sees (the recent David Beckham SuperBowl commercial for example). She occasionally looks at LOGO for RuPaul, and I also caught her looking at Noah's Ark and she seemed pretty interested in it (she is okay with drag and she doesn't like how people think that anyone involved with it is automatically gay). Sometimes, she'll ask me what I think about someone who is out (like NPH and David Burtka) or why she thinks gay people are better at designing things, but it's never offensive. For context, she is over 55. I don't see how I would be any more 'out' to her for now. I think I'll but a bracelet saying Equal Rights, but that is all I can do at this point. Again, nothing wrong with that, for now. Nothing more would happen without getting my life started (car, apartment, and meeting a nice guy for something steady) but that's not going to happen for a while because of college, lack of jobs here and other problems... I'm not upset with seeing anyone nice looking or 'questionable' because all I want for now is a friend (that sounds lame). I wouldn't want to start anything until I'm on my own, and able to do things by myself to be in the situation I'm in now with total confidence, to seal the deal :icon_wink
So, I've got an update. I went to the store by myself ( ! ) to buy some things for the puppy (a Pekingese named Honey :icon_bigg). After I got the stuff I needed, I went to the line, which was really really long, and I had the urge to just walk out but I didn't. About five mins passed and I saw him and our eyes met, and he said that he would take the next person in line, looking at me even though there was a lady in front of me :icon_wink. So, I went on over ( I should have let her go in front of me, thinking back to what had happened). We had a little chat when I got there, which went like: Him: Hey. How are you doing? Me: Pretty good, and you? Him: I'm good. (He had just gotten from break, which was why the line was long). Me: That's good. I'm just getting stuff for the dog. An awkward pause happened, because we both were wanting to chat more but didn't because of the lady behind me (same woman who was in front of me before). He bagged the items, reached me the bag and then the receipt, and told me to have a good day. I noticed that after he reached me the receipt, he was smiling. :eek: It wasn't an obvious one, but one was there. I walked out and it felt good, knowing that some sort of progress was made. I wonder if the lady noticed? :icon_bigg What do you guys think?
i think that its good that you are taking risks to talk to people you may be interested in, but i think that you should not be overthinking this and developing a crush on this employee. i think that you should focus your romantic interests on people that you know are gay and just be friendly to anyone else without wanting anything to happen. i was not there so i can't see all the pauses and the eye contact but i do not read anything here that suggest the guy is attempting to flirt with you or carry out extended conversation with you and even if he did, it does not mean he is gay. i know you have mentioned before that you're ok with just being friends with this guy and that it does not matter if he is gay or not, but i think you seem to be kidding yourself. you are definitely attracted to him, you like him and you're hoping he is gay and likes you back. that's fine. but do not waste time breaking your neck to get to this store when you could spend that same energy focusing on going to places where you know other gay people are gay and where you can develop a romantic relationship with someone that you know plays on the same team as you.
Your response came across as a little harsh, specifically the last paragraph. A person's sexuality, to me anyway, should not be the focal point of wanting to get to know someone as a friend. For him, I don't know if he is gay, bi or straight, but he seems to be a nice guy, so it doesn't matter. If he is gay, than fine, I'd have a gay friend; if he's straight, I'd have a straight friend. I know that because of where I am living and not feeling comfortable about things, that I should not pursue anyone for now, but those reasons and why I feel like that are for another day. As long as he is nice to me and doesn't treat me weird or anything while I'm around, I'm okay with getting to know him, or anyone else for that matter. Sure, he is rather decent looking, but if he is straight, I can respect that. If he is gay, I can have someone to finally relate to. But for now, he is someone to talk to at a store, but I am alright with that. There isn't many places for anyone my age to go to given where I am, so this is something to be a little excited about, which might have been why it came across that way. So, sorry if it came across that way.
sorry. wasnt trying to offend. was just trying to save you from building too much up on this one person if you liked him. you know your situation better than i do, so if this works for you and you're excited thats awesome. good luck.
thanks for the advice. and to Subaru.. you seem to always catch him on his break... ever thought of talking to him then, rather than in the line? (you would have more time to chat, and would probably be more than the "How are you" conversation..)
So it's another Friday, and I hope to see him there because I ran out of milk. I'll let you guys know what happens. Wish me luck.
Yesterday I went there for the usual and didn't see him there. It was okay because it was a crappy, rainy day. Today I went there and saw him, but didn't talk to him because he was busy, and not at the register when I went to check out. By busy I mean it was pandemonium in the store; a lady needed his help in the back (that never really happens at a store like that) and the people up front weren't any better to be around, so I'm happy I got out safe. Oh well. I'll try harder next week to talk with him. More progress as it happens.
dang, that sucks.. i still think that maybe you should try to talk to him when he's on his break.. that is if you ever find him when he is on it... but yea..
Sorry for not updating it in a while, but I saw him today! I went with my mom and brother, saw him and waved as we were going to an aisle (for him to only notice) and he asked 'How are you doing?' and I said 'Good.' He was with co-workers who we see a lot more (the lady who my mom talks to a lot and another lady that's just there very often). After making up things to look for, which we really did need, I asked him what line I should go to and he said that he would check us out. When we got there, he asked us how were we doing. My brother and I waited for my mom to get some batteries, so I couldn't think of much to say. Also, there were his co-workers around, so I didn't want to make a scene. My mom took charge of the conversation when she returned (as always...) but I did get two good bouts of eye contact, so I'm sure that was just casual. At this point, I'm still happy he is still there. So, I'm hoping to go there more often, because for the last few weeks, every time we went, I wouldn't see him... I hope to see what may or may not happen and update this whenever I can.
Not sure who is reading this anymore, but I've got an update. Too sleepy to type it all, but it may be interesting (assuming that all goes well). For now, I would like to apply there for work (because I know the area is relatively safe compared to other stores nearby and the people are cool; I've seen them all there fairly often) and see the manager of the store to see what happens. At this point, I have only seen an application online (haven't yet applied) so that's how far I am into the process. I'm almost done with college (an AA w/ two years of Spanish experence) so the funds are drying up! I've got to find a way to make a little money, so this may be a sign of sorts.
Ohh, that sounds interesting. You would actually be able to speak with him and you would be able to make some cash. Double win Just remember that things might get a bit odd with coworkers, so yea... Other than that, Good luck with both! =]
Sorry for updating things, (today was a little bit odd), but here it is. This occured last Thursday. I went out to a few stores with my mom and brother which hasn't happened as of late because she has been doing a lot more around (she's got a new date). The first store we went to we all went together, but for the second store (the one where the crush works) my brother decided to go to the car to put groceries in it. Anywho, it was just me and my mom who went in, and I saw the usual ladies there in the front, losing all hope that I would not see him..... :icon_sad: (All of this happened two hours earlier than what I thought). So, once when she got some jewelry or lipstick or whatever she was looking at, she told me to go get treats for Honey (my puppy, it was her birthday :icon_bigg ). I ended up going alone. When I first walked to the back of the store, I heard someone moving boxes. It was weird hearing someone moving things and not have a face to match the action. Then, I walked back and noticed it was him! I was alone and in the back corner of the store after fnding the treats my mom wanted me to get. He saw me and i asked whats up and I stuttered a bit because I hadn't eaten a lot (we didn't get what we should have gotten at a nearby Subway). I showed him dog treats and told him that it was the puppy's birthday. He wanted to know what type of puppy he was (I didn't correct him - Honey is a second mom to me) and how old he was and I told him 3; he said, with a smile on his face, ''Hope he has a good birthday.'' We chatted a bit more and i told him to have a good one. I noticed that the eye contact was there the entire time, AND he stopped what he was doing (putting things on the shelf w/ carts involved) to chat with me. Sadly, it was me who stopped the chat, because I thought my mom would catch me talking to him..... (She was far enough for the chat to keep going for a few more minutes). __________________________________________________________ Also, I made a resumé and I'll be dressed up rather well, to at least see if the manager is available. It would be cool to chat with him in detail, but work would be another reason why I'm there, because I'm pretty low on cash. The co-worker thing wouldn't be a problem; I would get along with others too. So, hopefully, it will be the best of both worlds. More updates to follow.
Today went pretty good. I did not see him, but when my mom and I went there, I saw a lady that I had never seen before, checking customers out. When it was our turn, my mom, always the one to initiate a conversation asked her: Mom: ''Are you guys accepting applications?'' Mystery Lady: ''We always are.'' My mom asked if she could talk to the manager, which lo and behold, we already were (!!!), so my mom said, Mom: ''Well, my son is looking to apply for work, he is almost done with his Associate's degree.'' Manager: ''Nice.'' The manager said that she could get me an application, and my mom said that we've already filled one out, and that we are working on my resumé. She also told the manager not to look at me because I was in normal clothes, instead of more formal, job-searching clothing. So, nothing new with him, (I didn't see any of the group there; neither the two or three ladies nor the guy - it was only her) but I've got something to look forward to. Up next, I'm going to finish the application, finish the resumé and see when the manager, who actually came across as nice, will be there next.
That sounds great! If you see the guy in between now and when you find out about the job, you can mention that you are applying there, and chat about work.
Sounds like a plan. We'll be going there tomorrow to see if she is around, this time looking the part, to see if I can do an interview. Seeing him before being told about the job would be a great way to chat about things, and letting him know that I'm interested in working there would be a perfect way to break the ice.
More manager news: I went there to see if the manager was there and she was! I handed her my cover letter, resumé and application and she directed me to a room where I could do an assessment. I finished it and she told me that she would get the results within a week. So, a little bit further into the hiring process, but not hired. That's fine with me for now.
