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How do you feel about gay bars?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AshleyMarie, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. AshleyMarie

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    I have never been to one but would like to. My parents live in Sydney, Australia and when I visit them on my reading break they will be away for a couple of days. I am debating on going alone to check it out. Do you think going alone would be safe/ fun? I would never go clubbing in a straight bar by myself, but I am wondering is it more acceptable to go to a gay bar alone? Also, if you live in Sydney do you know of any places I could check out?
     
  2. GoogieHowser

    GoogieHowser Guest

    they're dangerous, if you go into one, you might come out gay!!!

    ---------- Post added 30th Jan 2012 at 07:12 PM ----------

    cuz i heard thats where they recruit
     
  3. Hana Solo

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    Hahaha! That cracked me up.

    Gay bars? Same as any other bar, I suppose. Not that I've ever been in one and I have no real interest in going in one now.
     
  4. Random Dent

    Random Dent Guest

    LMAO. Hilarious. Cheeky.

    I really want to go to one, but sadly the closest one is over 100 miles away. :frowning2:
     
  5. kirbycat

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    I've been to a couple gay bars/clubs in the States with friends; I don't think they're any less safe than any "normal" nightspot, as long as you know how to act responsibly. And I only had a fun time in them. Of course, I'm also straight, so my objectives in going were somewhat different. I have no idea if it's more acceptable to go to gay bars by yourself, although from what I could tell in my experiences, the makeup of the crowds didn't seem too much different from what you'd find in any other bar. Except that you're assuming everyone is gay, instead of straight.

    I will say this, though: the notion that gay bars are an ideal place for girls to go to just dance and have some hassle-free fun is totally false. I've never had so many creeps come on to me and try to feel me up. The theory we came up with is that all the sleaze-balls who know they'll never have any luck in a normal bar head to the gay bars, where they know they'll find dance floors full of unsuspecting girls. Even if in reality most of those girls are probably gay. :rolle:
     
  6. Beertruck

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    As my username indicates, I do like to get a good drink now and then.

    Most gay bars are bars first, with a gay clientele. I think there's a worry among people who have never been that's they're all superclubs with techno and strobes blaring, but the vast majority of the ones I've been to are basically just bars. Hell, my local gay bar does pub trivia and has the best beer selection in the city I live in.

    The appeal of gay bars, though, is that it's a place you can be yourself. You don't have to put on an act or anything - it's a safe place in a world that can be unsafe. So I'd suggest finding a good chill one and seeing if you like it!
     
  7. jimL

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    OMG Doogie, that's totally hilarious. Only been in a few myself. I was with two other guys so I felt safe. It was a positive experience. Lots of cute guys. One was a leather bar and I didn't like that one, not into that type of thing. Also, a few creeps. Just stay away from them, you will know who they are. You can leave at anytime if you don't feel comfortable. Have fun with it.
     
  8. Jessica816

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    I've been to the gay bars more then a few times. It's a great place and I've found that I enjoy myself there more because I can be myself..A bar is just a bar tho, just go in and have fun.
     
  9. Lexington

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    I've never been much a fan. They're not evil or awful or anything. Just that they tend to be loud and crowded, and it's not the easiest place to go get to know somebody. There's nothing wrong with going alone, but you may end up sitting alone and people-watching a lot. I won't lie - the more attractive you are, the greater chance that people will come over and talk to you. Also, the the more attractive you are, the more people will come over to talk to you...and the more insistent they might be about talking to you. :slight_smile: Resolve to not have your ego crushed if nobody comes to talk to you, and to deal pleasantly (but firmly, if you don't like them) for the ones that do. And feel free to go chat with others. Best bet - look for other "solos" like you, or smaller groups.

    Lex
     
  10. IanGallagher

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    I'm nervous about ever going alone. Feel like I'd be as vulnerable as a girl going to a bar alone, if that makes sense? Guys taking advantage. Possibly a guy much stronger than me. Anyways I just go to straight bars with friends because I go after girls more anyways. But, just, as said - there's more notions that go into gay bars. Not meaning to sound sexist either, just know the same thoughts probably goes into it.
     
  11. Chimera

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    I'm female and go out solo all the time, but I have yet to visit gay bars so I'm really interested in these replies as well. However, I have noticed something in regards to harassment... it REALLY depends on the music. Usually when I visit a bar, club, or rave it is to listen to a particular band, artist, or DJ. The more well known they are (not necessarily mainstream), the more likely the crowd will also be there to enjoy the music and meet people who share the same passion. But when I go out with my friends to "normal" clubs that only play 30 second clips of the top-40 pop songs, the harassment is horrible! You can't dance without feeling like you're practicing karate! So, yeah, I'm waiting for a good "excuse" to visit a bar during LGBT night :wink: I've also been told a good way to avoid harassment is to go out during weeknights. Smaller crowds, lower prices, and fewer pricks trying to grind up your alley. Anyway have fun, and be safe :slight_smile:
     
  12. EnglishTeenS

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    Personally, I like them.

    Although I might not be the stereotype of a gay male, I do enjoy being in that scene every now and then when I don't have to worry about being looked at differently if I do something 'odd' and I can dance with my boyfriend there freely :slight_smile:

    However, they can get a little seedy and creepy but from all of my experience everyone has been extremely friendly there and welcoming. I am not sure if I would go on my own but if you can't go with friends etc I wish you the best of luck :slight_smile: I am sure you'll have an experience haha
     
  13. Zontar

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    They always struck me as a bit low class. Maybe there's some nice joints out there, I dunno.
     
  14. AshleyMarie

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    If you don't go out to bars, how do meet other gay people?
     
  15. RaeofLite

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    Google organizations, clubs and groups. I'm sure there are sports teams near Victoria that are gay. I remember seeing sports teams from Vancouver in the pride parade and victoria is big too so....?

    Holla at Vancouver Island from the mainland! :slight_smile: *wave*
     
  16. PerfectInsanity

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    Last Thursday night I went with my bi friend to a gay bar. Both of us had never been to one before (ironic considering my friend has been dating guys for two years) and wanted to see if it was like our pre-conceptions. The bar was western/tavern style and lots of people were line dancing to country music. The crowd was a mix of 20-somethings and old guys, with lots of good looking ones our age. We weren't looking to hook up with anyone (my friend has a boyfriend and I am a nervous virgin), so we hung out to the side standing close to each other so people would think we're a couple and not hit on us. It was actually a fun experience, getting to check out guys without worrying about eye-fucking straight guys. I had horrible notions of what the bathroom would be like (I imagined a sleazy, cum-stained small room with guys having orgies), but was pleasantly surprised to find one of the most immaculately clean bathrooms I have ever been it and no one making out/having sex in there. It definitely was not a dive bar!

    We survived our first experience there and I think I'll try to go by myself next time and strike up a conversation with someone. As much as I was opposed to the idea of hook-ups, being a horny virgin is getting old. We noticed that despite the obvious couples that were dancing there, we did see single guys spectating from the sidelines. Here I come boys (after I get my nerves up!).
     
  17. Fisnou

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    I live in Sydney and although I've never been to a gay bar myself (except with a male gay friend once ages ago when I didn't know I was bi/gay!), I know where there are! OXFORD STREET (near Hyde Park, Townhall). It's full of them. The one I went to is called Stonewall. It's for both gays and lesbians as far as I know. I don't know the names of the other ones but they're easy to find. Good luck!
     
  18. ukeye

    ukeye Guest

    Oh theres SO SO MANY..The majority of the gay joints are in Darlinghurst. This has been my experience:

    Darlinghurst/Oxford Street:

    Stonewall is pretty cruisy.. its probably the most wellknown joint there so it seems to be the busiest one on oxford st.. I've been to the Columbian also.. its only a few doors down. They are both about as good as each other.. columbo seems a bit more seedier, then again the stonewell is up there sometimes to.. usually its one or the other haha.. I think you'll be fine going alone.. just keep your wits about you as oxford st can get quite sketchy in the early hours. Friday/Saturday nights are the big ones of course.. if you want a quieter night, hit it on Sunday.

    I've also heard Arq is very good, more techno/dance music/young crowd. If you are feeling adventurous and want something entirely off the planet, check out the Taxi Club.. my god.. maybe a little overwhelming if your on your own.. Its a drag show bar.. I cannot put into words the experience of that club.. it is a journey of its own.

    To get your toes wet to start off the night, dip into the Oxford Hotel for a drink.. its very laid back just a bar really.

    ERSKINVILLE/NEWTOWN:
    The two other gay suburbs are Erskinville and Newtown. Newtown has an arty twist to it and is more grungey.. erskinville is more swish cocktail bars and high end bars.. both are more laid back burbs with cafes, cocktail bars and the like. However, 'The Imperial Hotel' (the club featured in Priscilla the Queen of the Desert) has just been renovated and is in Erskinville - I went there and it was quite impressive from memory - Live drag shows, gets very busy.



    And here is a list of all the bars! You are gauranteed to have fun in Sydney.. I really do think it is the gayest place on earth!(!)
     
  19. AshleyMarie

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    They all sound amazing, is there a club that has more of a lesbian crowd?
     
  20. Hot Pink

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    There's only one gay bar around here that I'm aware of. I haven't been to it yet, though, so at the moment I'm neutral to them.