So, a little background. I'm Kinsey 5, but Panromantic. However, telling people this is really confusing, and I didn't really think that it'd be important (because I'm stupid), so I basically have been coming out as gay (because I'm stupid). Now, there is this girl, who, honestly, I like (on a romantic level, but not so much on a sexual one). But, after thinking about it, I decided that this whole crush thing was stupid, and I decided to go ahead and come out to her, because she deserves to know. As it turns out, she also likes me. So after thinking about it, I decided to tell her that I liked her, and explain the whole "romantic vs. sexual orientation" thing. However, she still can't seem to get past the fact that I say I'm gay. We both want to make this work between us, but she's confused about this whole thing, and I can't explain it to her sufficiently. Any advice? (apologies for this being sort of badly written...)
Rather than trying to explain the difference, ask her what she wants and expects from a relationship, and tell her if you're able to meet those expectations, and if not, which ones she can't meet. Or, if you don't feel comfortable asking, tell her what sorts of things that are standard in relationships that you can and can't do. At 16 she may not be looking for as sexual a relationship as she likely would at, say, 20, but she may still expect things you're not up to (kissing, cuddling, heavy petting)*. If what she's looking for is a deep, emotional connection with someone that incorporates a lot of alone time and sharing, that's likely something you can make work. *She may, however, want sex, maybe not right away, but as the relationship progresses. A lot of sixteen-year-olds do. That could become a dealbreaker later even if it isn't initially.
That talk was pretty much what she needed. And yes, we can make it work, at least for a while. We'll see how things progress. Thanks!
