Hello, I came out to my parents a few weeks ago. My dad took it pretty well, my mum didn't. It's a long story and I don't want to make this post long. What they both agreed on, however, is that I shouldn't tell more people from my hometown (I live and study elsewhere) to give them some time to come around. I agreed to do that for a while. This New Year's Eve, while my parents were out of town, some girl from the school I studied at invited me to a party, so I went. While I was there, I drank a little more than I should have and ended up coming out to everyone there. The crowd was mostly younger than me (around 17 or 18) and came from relatively conservative backgrounds. I also hit on my friend's (male) cousin. It didn't cross my mind that he could not be gay, but it appears he isn't (or says so, at least). Apparently, he was a offended. The rest of the people there seem to have taken it pretty well, and I actually made friends. I also did a lot of other imprudent things, but they weren't related to being gay and won't have consequences. All they did was make me look a bit silly. I am saying all this because I can't seem to get rid of a sense of guilt from the episode. Rationally, I don't think I've done anything morally reprehensible, but I still feel pretty bad. I tend to find it very inappropriate to hit on straight people. I also hate to think that I've made myself look like the stereotypical inconvenient gay guy, who wants to call attention to himself and can't seem to keep control, because I believe that acting that way helps reinforce that negative stereotype. Finally, it appears that I can't really control myself while drinking, which bothers me. I don't drink often, and I didn't drink at all until last year (which is really uncommon in Brazil, where it's socially acceptable for teens to drink and even get wasted). I am usually considered prudent and hard-working by friends and family, and not at all wild or foolish. I am saying all this partly to get it off my chest, but I would also like to hear an external, more or less impartial opinion about that. Was what I did wrong? What should I do? Am I telling about this (without unnecessarily nasty details, most likely) to my dad tomorrow morning.
Objectively, I'd say 'so what!'. You were with some friends and strangers and got drunk enough to do what you probably wanted to do anyways but did not have courage to do without drinking. I think it was not morally bad. However, it clear that you do feel guilty a out it. So it does feel bad. I'm guessing here, but it seems like you are not completely okay with your parents asking for more time... (my wife's asked for more time too and I don't feel completely okay. But I have agreed to stay low). It may help to just talk about that with them. My two cents. And you are still the hardworking and all that. And you may wanna be careful when you drink.
